zzeris
King Turd of Shit Hill
- 21,036
- 91,477
AssHat 2023 Final Four! Vote Now!
- Thread starter lurkingdirk
- Start date
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Guest, it's time once again for the massively important and exciting FoH Asshat Tournament!
Go here and give us your nominations!Who's been the biggest Asshat in the last year? Give us your worst ones!
zzeris
King Turd of Shit Hill
- 21,036
- 91,477
Bubbles
2022 Asshat Award Winner
- 46,326
- -62,397
Araysar vs. Foler - he must lose in the finals again
Kirun vs. wormie - any other year wouldn't get past 2nd round
this year feels depleted, weak and flaccid. We're running out of worthy candidates. People need to up their ass game
Kirun vs. wormie - any other year wouldn't get past 2nd round
this year feels depleted, weak and flaccid. We're running out of worthy candidates. People need to up their ass game
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Chukzombi
Millie's Staff Member
- 73,802
- 215,633
dont voluntarily add your DNA to a database. if you can trace your ancestry back a few hundred years to the UK, then you are 100% Brit. they didnt have British Airways or British Rail back then to smuggle your ass across a border, so you are what you are. 200 years ago, my family was sitting in Sicily. so i know i got at least some greek mixed in with italian and i'm totally fine with that. even if i got some jungle bunny like Tarentino says. hey its all good. i can say the N word.
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Burns
Avatar of War Slayer
- 7,800
- 15,055
Carthage was a Greek colony, so don't go out and buy a du-rag just yet.
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Chris
Potato del Grande
- 19,892
- -10,442
- 17,903
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Burns
Avatar of War Slayer
- 7,800
- 15,055
Nah, I remembered the city of Carthage was originally a city state before it became an empire (that owned Sicily), so I keep thinking it was founded by the Greeks, but nope, it was founded by the Phoenicians, before they were conquered by the Egyptians.
So
Chukzombi
, Carthage still wasn't black, but you might be part proto-Jew, in addition to the Greek heritage from the Romans and, as Chris said, Syracusans.
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Chukzombi
Millie's Staff Member
- 73,802
- 215,633
hehe. i know its bullshit. i dont get my history from a footlicker, but apparently a lot of people do.Nah, I remembered the city of Carthage was originally a city state before it became an empire (that owned Sicily), so I keep thinking it was founded by the Greeks, but nope, it was founded by the Phoenicians, before they were conquered by the Egyptians.
So
Loser Araysar
Chief Russia Reporter. Stock Pals CEO. Head of AI.
- 83,321
- 168,842
Ladies and gentlemen, esteemed members of Fires of Heaven, and my esteemed competitor Foler,
Today, I stand before you as Araysar, a proud member of this incredible forum community. It is a true honor to be nominated for the "asshat" award alongside Foler, a person whose contributions and wit have continually set a high bar for all of us.
Foler, your posts are like a perfectly aimed shot from an AK-47 – precise, impactful, and always on target. I've always admired that about you. In the grand battle of wits and words here on Fires of Heaven, your posts stand out as clearly as a single, perfectly formed Faberge egg in a field of mediocrity. It's something I've aspired to emulate in my own way.
This competition, while fierce, is also a symbol of the strong bonds we've formed in this community. In a way, it's like the friendship I share with my good friend Vladimir Putin. You might wonder how a regular forum member like me could be friends with someone like Putin. Well, let's just say that we share a love for certain hobbies – like discussing the finer points of video game strategies or the versatility of potatoes in Russian cuisine.
So, as we move forward in this competition, let's remember the spirit of camaraderie that brings us all together here. Whether it's debating the best gaming tactics, sharing a laugh over a meme, or even playfully arguing about who's the bigger "asshat," it's all in good fun.
In conclusion, I extend my utmost respect to Foler and to all of you. Being part of Fires of Heaven has been an incredible journey, one that I cherish as much as my most prized possessions – yes, even as much as my AK-47 and that perfectly shaped potato. Let's continue to foster this amazing community spirit, no matter who wins this award.
Thank you, and may the best "asshat" win!
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Chris
Potato del Grande
- 19,892
- -10,442
Xtopher is kinda cool. Is it possible to change your username?
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Hoss
Make America's Team Great Again
- 27,951
- 16,592
So what is an asshat. This round is tough because for the first time the contestants were asshats in different enough ways that I had figure out what a true asshat is. The two definitions I was using were
1. obtuse, insufficiently conscious of one's surroundings. Related to having their heads up their asses.
2. stupid, obnoxious, or contemptible person. Similar to asshole.
If we look at past winners for precedent, we have a little bit of both. Most winners fit both definitions. But the past 2 years we've had one trick ponies who fit the #2 definition. We have an opportunity to get back to well rounded classical asshats this year.
2014 - Suineg - Mostly 2, a little 1
2015 - Tanoomba - Both
2016 - Tolan - Both
2017 - Didn't happen - Neg Tuco for the injustice
2018 - Xequecal - Mostly 1, a little 2
2019 - Brando - Both
2020 - Caepan - Not sure honestly
2021 - Ossoi - Almost entirely 2
2022 - Bubbles - Entirely 2
Araysar vs.
Foler
Foler - if we use only the #2 definition, eraser wins the whole thing and might win the all star asshat bracket when we eventually do it. But Foler is more well rounded. He's mostly got his head up his ass, but he is also obnoxious. So I'm going for the well rounded asshat.
Kirun vs.
wormie
wormie - Wormie is also a well rounded asshat, while kirun is more of a one trick pony type asshat.
(I was tempted to leave it as womie)
1. obtuse, insufficiently conscious of one's surroundings. Related to having their heads up their asses.
2. stupid, obnoxious, or contemptible person. Similar to asshole.
If we look at past winners for precedent, we have a little bit of both. Most winners fit both definitions. But the past 2 years we've had one trick ponies who fit the #2 definition. We have an opportunity to get back to well rounded classical asshats this year.
2014 - Suineg - Mostly 2, a little 1
2015 - Tanoomba - Both
2016 - Tolan - Both
2017 - Didn't happen - Neg Tuco for the injustice
2018 - Xequecal - Mostly 1, a little 2
2019 - Brando - Both
2020 - Caepan - Not sure honestly
2021 - Ossoi - Almost entirely 2
2022 - Bubbles - Entirely 2
Araysar vs.
Foler
Foler - if we use only the #2 definition, eraser wins the whole thing and might win the all star asshat bracket when we eventually do it. But Foler is more well rounded. He's mostly got his head up his ass, but he is also obnoxious. So I'm going for the well rounded asshat.Kirun vs.
wormie
wormie - Wormie is also a well rounded asshat, while kirun is more of a one trick pony type asshat.(I was tempted to leave it as womie)
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Loser Araysar
Chief Russia Reporter. Stock Pals CEO. Head of AI.
- 83,321
- 168,842
So what is an asshat. This round is tough because for the first time the contestants were asshats in different enough ways that I had figure out what a true asshat is. The two definitions I was using were
1. obtuse, insufficiently conscious of one's surroundings. Related to having their heads up their asses.
2. stupid, obnoxious, or contemptible person. Similar to asshole.
If we look at past winners for precedent, we have a little bit of both. Most winners fit both definitions. But the past 2 years we've had one trick ponies who fit the #2 definition. We have an opportunity to get back to well rounded classical asshats this year.
2014 - Suineg - Mostly 2, a little 1
2015 - Tanoomba - Both
2016 - Tolan - Both
2017 - Didn't happen - Neg Tuco for the injustice
2018 - Xequecal - Mostly 1, a little 2
2019 - Brando - Both
2020 - Caepan - Not sure honestly
2021 - Ossoi - Almost entirely 2
2022 - Bubbles - Entirely 2
Araysar vs.
Kirun vs.
(I was tempted to leave it as womie)
LMAO you made up all this bullshit just to avoid voting for me.
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Punko
Macho Ma'am
- 8,011
- 12,839
Sanrith Descartes
You have insufficient privileges to reply here.
- 46,205
- 128,295
Do we need to keep the voting open? Only Dominion voting machines can save Foler and my boy Kirun from wearing the L. Lets invoke the mercy rule.
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Loser Araysar
Chief Russia Reporter. Stock Pals CEO. Head of AI.
- 83,321
- 168,842
Mods need to hit their "engagement metrics".
Frankly, this is another example of how pathetically this contest is run in it's current inception.
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- 11,335
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I could get you to lose in 1 sitewide notification.
It would say "To all of those tired of Araysar's schtick, if Foler receives 50 votes in the Asshat contest in the next 8 hours, Araysar will be shawed for 3 months and you won't have to read his posts."
But that would be wrong, so I won't do that.
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