I can buy into women being just as abusive as men, I've seen it too. The big difference is for the most part, without a weapon, its pretty difficult for a woman to hurt a man unless he is letting her. If the man is attacking the woman, there is a good chance she will get hurt. And if it escalates, she could get hurt badly or killed. Very unlikely for that to happen the other way around without a gun involved.
Its easy to see why its primarily a woman's issue, regardless of "who started it", the man is going to finish it, or end it at his discretion. The physical playing field is very very far from equal.