Dating

Gavinmad said:

Yeah I think it's pretty common for them to not be into that. They don't want to suck on your fucking thumb either, or any number of things that are pretty much exclusive to TV/porn. Hell, depending on the exact sequence of the evening's events it's likely your hands could really use a quick but vigorous application of soap and water before things get too far along.

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Imitating things you've seen in porn is the absolute worst thing you can do with women. From what I've heard from them, tons of men didn't get this memo.

Cutlery said:

Ding ding ding.

As a dude who was married for 18 years, and now managed to sift thru enough shit to get myself into another LTR, I can tell you this is the hard and fast, simple rule to shit -

If she likes it, she will tell you.

My very first BJ, way back in the fucking day, I didn't really know what I was supposed to do in this situation, so my hands kinda ended up on her head...more playing with her hair, (because it was 25 years ago, and the whole porn thing wasn't really as ubiquitous as it is today). She full stopped immediately and then made it absolutely clear that behavior was unacceptable, and you don't do that when you're getting blown. Alright, lesson learned, no problem at all.

Fast forward a dozen years or so, and it turns out that she's really into just being used, she wants to be completely face fucked from any angle. Do those sound like the same woman? Well, they are, just at different points in the relationship, different comfort levels. Was just having this conversation again with my GF and she said "most guys are fucking retards and grab my head and I'm not into that shit, so thanks for not doing that." Yeah, no problem. That's the difference there, fellas. I was face fucking my ex hard on the regular, and I got a new GF and all of a sudden I'm back to being respectful and not forcing her down on my dick. That's how you succeed. You can't take "Oh, this chick liked this, so all chicks like this" or "This is the move, every woman melts." Nah dawg, don't work like that. You gotta dial back the kinks you got from previous relationships or porn or whatever, go back to some vanilla shit and just let the relationship go where it goes. A lot of times you're gonna end up doing the same stuff over time, sometimes you'll end up doing different stuff, but the big thing is you've gotta figure out what works for your current sexual partnership, and you can't be using the last partnership as a guide or you're gonna end up with a lot of women passing on what you're offering because you didn't bother to find out what works for them.

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Yeah, my redheaded super-sexual ex wanted me pulling her hair all the time (like even if we were out going for a hike or something, if I got in the mood, all I had to do was pull her head back by her hair and she was insta-wet). I got very used to doing that.

Next girl I went out with, second time we did it I went ahead and (lightly) pulled her hair while banging her from behind. She flipped the fuck out and stopped the proceedings and turned around to yell at me because she was afraid her hair would fall out. Like "what the fuck are you doing?" I was this girl's third boyfriend, or even sex partner, ever, and nobody had done that before so she thought I was just being rough for no reason or something. I did do it lightly to see if it passed the "I like this" check and still got verbally shredded. So much for "showing dominance" or whatever.

Point is, everyone is different and things like that won't work with everyone just cause they worked with one person. The stuff in that video I linked above tends to be pretty universal though.

Armadon said:

If you want a non akward way of hooking up with a chick at work throw a work party. If she shows up she's a little interested and if she doesn't she's not. Works for me but I don't know the field you're in to throw a work party.

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Im not looking to just hook up. Id be on tinder if i was wanting to just bang.

Cutlery said:

Then I'd hate to be the guy accused of being "creepy" for making the first move.

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Its not 85% women or something, more around 60%. Also the nature of the business this company operates in its pretty common for people to get together. Right now theres at least two married couples that work here and a few other people in relationships.

Asking around supposedly this woman has never been with anyone else here.

Rajaah said:

Point is, everyone is different and things like that won't work with everyone just cause they worked with one person. The stuff in that video I linked above tends to be pretty universal though.

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That why once you want to progress beyond basic missionary of doggy you really gotta have a frank conversation about what youre into and comfortable with.

Big Phoenix said:

Im not looking to just hook up. Id be on tinder if i was wanting to just bang.


Its not 85% women or something, more around 60%. Also the nature of the business this company operates in its pretty common for people to get together. Right now theres at least two married couples that work here and a few other people in relationships.

Asking around supposedly this woman has never been with anyone else here.

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Well, I'm not a hard and fast, 100% no dating at work guy (obviously), I just do recommend caution and taking shit super slow. That way if you get the slightest amount of pushback, you can just pivot and maybe still keep face/your job.

Sounds like the basics are all there - obviously don't wanna be in the same department/command structure, make sure the culture is right for such things, and if that's the case...fuck it, go for it. Just be prepared to pivot or nope out once the Spidey sense starts tingling.

Or your keep your resume polished, one of the 2.

Asked for her number and she said she doesnt do anything with coworkers.

Big Phoenix said:

Asked for her number and she said she doesnt do anything with coworkers.

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Sorry to hear you lost your job again bro

Cutlery said:

Sorry to hear you lost your job again bro

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Well been at work for a few hours and no email or vm from HR and everyone seems to be as friendly as any other day. Billing manager even handed me a cookie she made when i was in her office.

Big Phoenix said:

Well been at work for a few hours and no email or vm from HR and everyone seems to be as friendly as any other day. Billing manager even handed me a cookie she made when i was in her office.

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Is the billing manager hot?

But, no....I meant that my reply to her statement would have been "Brb...putting in my 2 weeks"

Control said:

A good wife is generally harder to find than a new job though.

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You know, that's actually not a bad way to think about it. The only problem is determining if they're gonna be a good wife before you need to find a new job....

Control said:

If someone "verbally shreds" you for some mild exploring, then you're probably lucky to get that red flag thrown in your face early.

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Yeah, pretty much. We were only together two months before she dumped me via text because I asked her to make some weekend time for me after she told me she'd be too busy. Like "I told you I couldn't and you're expecting too much from me and my career is first and I don't think this'll work, I'm really sorry" kind of thing.

She was also a raging bitch to random people at her job and in general, another red flag. She also always went on and on about how "busy" she was, yet she worked from home (writer and consultant jobs) and every time I looked she was on Twitter bitching to her 90K followers about something Trump said or some other inconsequential political thing. Probably spent 3 hours a day on there and then complained about being too busy.

She gave the best BJs I've ever gotten so I didn't exactly run for the hills or anything. Also had pretty magnificent boobas and, well, was super tight downstairs (I was her third sex partner ever remember) so I took her general obstinance and bitchiness as a challenge to fight through. Knew we weren't gonna go anywhere and it was whatever, was just having fun. When she sent the breakup text I just agreed with her and went on with my day.

Years later I sent her a basic "how have you been" type message and she lit into me in a really bizarre way that was probably the rudest text I've ever gotten from anybody. I still have it saved somewhere because it was such an out of nowhere bitch-fireball she hurled at me. Ever end something on what you thought was a perfectly good note and then later get chewed out by the person for reaching out? Fuck is that? I'd be flattered that someone remembers me enough to say hi.

She's a public figure so I could name her here and I'd like to because fuck 'er, but I'll be a good boy and not do that. Pretty sure she's the type who'd sue someone for libel for a board post talking about her tightness. I could post that bitch-fireball of a text she sent me for asking how she was doing, though, if anyone wants to see it. Worst person I ever dated, probably. Also the only millionaire I've dated and that's probably why she was so awful.

— shit, wrong thread