Dating

Jabberwhacky said:

She did indeed pick me up from the airport upon my arrival, and while the ride to my Airbnb was fine, the date we had that night was when the Benny Johnson level BOMBSHELL finally dropped and what brings this post full circle. She had brought along a friend and so most of the dinner was kinda random talk about whatever (her friend was a model, so needless to say we weren't solving world hunger). But finally near the end, her friend went to the bathroom and I brought up our first night together and the lack of sex. I had been drinking so I don't remember exactly how I phrased it, but what I do remember vividly was the vicious tone of her response, full of venom, saying something like "oh it's happened before" while glaring daggers at me. What I took from it was that 1) I had indeed slighted her bigly by not dicking her down the first night and 2) she also has baggage from it happening before so her response was elevated, so to speak.

Click to expand...

I've kept women at arm's length at the end of a first date (made out, said goodnight instead of following them in), then had them ghost me, multiple times. I think not putting out is taken as some sort of mortal insult to their attractiveness or something.

Weird thing is that you didn't just make out, you went down on her for what, and hour? That should count for something. Most chix prefer that to boning. WTF. I guess she was one who didn't and was waiting for you to get up and slide it in and got mad when it didn't happen.

Conefed said:

I wonder where to find people for dating Walmart etc seems cringe, bar seems guaranteed unwantable, work seems risky

Click to expand...

I met a really cute girl in the ER the other day and got her info (was her idea). Haven't reached out yet. She sent me a message almost right away about something, but that's it so far. I should probably get on that before she forgets. I didn't feel much chemistry, but we had similar enough interests to chat for like an hour.

Chukzombi said:

watch porn, lesbian porn and take some pointers from the ladies.

Click to expand...

Yeah, women know what to do better than men do. Women are better wingman, better for advice, and so on. Here's a good advice video I saw, can personally vouch for everything she said:



Two notes: A) The first one (stomach) is actually kinda hit or miss. Some women are really self-conscious about their stomachs and touching them there actually makes them less relaxed. She's right that the touching should be on the lower stomach / lower abdomen though. B) The last one is really good, just make sure not to jam the thumb all the way into the mouth. One of the biggest complaints I've heard from women is that guys stick their fingers/thumb in the woman's mouth, thinking it's sexy. It's only sexy if the woman is actively sucking on said digit (as opposed to you jamming it in). Then it's fine.

Chukzombi said:

chicks seem to like the taste of their own pussies

Click to expand...

The girl I was with for like 7 years, a (legitimately) crazy redhead with a bonkers sex drive... she loved that. I'd go down on her and use two fingers, sometimes reaching up so she could suck on them. I didn't stick them in her mouth like some kind of buffoon, I just reached up there so she was free to do whatever with them. I'd hate to think she only "loved" it because she thought I did. Considering she never pretended with anything else and was brutally honest with me all the time, I'm pretty sure she just legit got off on how kinky it was.

No other girl I've been with had any interest in her own juices though.

Not a one.

Matter of fact they all actively avoided it

Chukzombi said:

this happened to me 3 times. chicks were all up on that. but the chicks i dated, at least back in the 90s werent exactly the type of ladies i brought home to meet mom. i'm friends with them still on facebook and they all act like the freaky deeky we did back in the day would have never happened with them. one of my 90s exes, posted a picture of her son graduating HS last week. big tall dude. i posted "the ladies will be happy to know he's out of school" or something like that. she posted back. "no, he's only 17. not legal yet" i almost fell over on my chair and rolled my eyes right the fuck out of my head at the same time. i actually got up and walked out of the room for a minute to keep myself from leaving a snide comment about some of the shit we did after she just turned 17 and a catholic school girl still in HS. legal? seriously? did you just say the fucking word, legal? bitch who was that slinging shots with me at the bar with your fake ass ID and us balling in a driveway of a vacant house near your house? who was that? who was that standing up on my car console with the top down holding onto the windshield like a surfer and flashing other cars at the traffic lights? give me a fucking break. bunch a nuns i dated it turns out.

Click to expand...

Reminds me of a bunch of friends of mine who are all PC and blatantly inoffensive now (the kind of people who go "IT WAS A DIFFERENT TIME" every time anything remotely un-PC from the past comes up).

Every single one of them were into WWF Attitude and/or South Park and/or Eminem growing up. Every single one.

Keep sacrificing your individuality at the altar of the "zeitgeist" of the moment, frens

Animosity said:

Ive slept with multiple girls who tell me to do that to them. They must like it enough or think its a big turn on for me. I didnt mind it.

Click to expand...

Ding ding ding.

As a dude who was married for 18 years, and now managed to sift thru enough shit to get myself into another LTR, I can tell you this is the hard and fast, simple rule to shit -

If she likes it, she will tell you.

My very first BJ, way back in the fucking day, I didn't really know what I was supposed to do in this situation, so my hands kinda ended up on her head...more playing with her hair, (because it was 25 years ago, and the whole porn thing wasn't really as ubiquitous as it is today). She full stopped immediately and then made it absolutely clear that behavior was unacceptable, and you don't do that when you're getting blown. Alright, lesson learned, no problem at all.

Fast forward a dozen years or so, and it turns out that she's really into just being used, she wants to be completely face fucked from any angle. Do those sound like the same woman? Well, they are, just at different points in the relationship, different comfort levels. Was just having this conversation again with my GF and she said "most guys are fucking retards and grab my head and I'm not into that shit, so thanks for not doing that." Yeah, no problem. That's the difference there, fellas. I was face fucking my ex hard on the regular, and I got a new GF and all of a sudden I'm back to being respectful and not forcing her down on my dick. That's how you succeed. You can't take "Oh, this chick liked this, so all chicks like this" or "This is the move, every woman melts." Nah dawg, don't work like that. You gotta dial back the kinks you got from previous relationships or porn or whatever, go back to some vanilla shit and just let the relationship go where it goes. A lot of times you're gonna end up doing the same stuff over time, sometimes you'll end up doing different stuff, but the big thing is you've gotta figure out what works for your current sexual partnership, and you can't be using the last partnership as a guide or you're gonna end up with a lot of women passing on what you're offering because you didn't bother to find out what works for them.

Theres a tempting woman at work, checks some boxes(least of which is no visible piercings or tattoos). Overall friendly, no problems striking up a conversation when Im around. Now do I take the risk and ask her out for a drink?

Chukzombi said:

unless you mean a risk as your wife/gf finding out.

Click to expand...

More as in creating weird/awkward work environment.

Not that I work side by side with her, completely different departments.

Big Phoenix said:

Theres a tempting woman at work, checks some boxes(least of which is no visible piercings or tattoos). Overall friendly, no problems striking up a conversation when Im around. Now do I take the risk and ask her out for a drink?

Click to expand...

I say this as someone who met his current GF at work -

I wouldn't.

I'd let her initiate just to alleviate any problems that might cause/prevent any issues like you're talking about.

Mine pursued me pretty hard and I actually rejected her first offer simply because I didn't want to deal with the drama of dating a coworker. Same situation as you...we were in completely different departments, but still better safe than sorry.

After she wore me down enough, I told her "you know if we do this, and anything happens, you're going to be the only one who suffers career wise from this, right? They're not gonna do shit to me, but you'll get labeled as the office slut, even though you're not, and it's going to be a lot harder for you." She said she understood that was likely to be the case.

We actually kept our entire relationship completely under wraps for almost 2 years until she moved in....and got covid 2 months later. We figured we had no choice but to inform work. When she returned, she was removed from her payroll duties and was essentially demoted. She applied for a few other jobs, and the last straw was when the HR manager cunt scheduled an interview for her, and spent the entire hour telling her why she wasn't getting the job.

It all happened basically exactly as I told her it would...my life changed in no way, and she was essentially forced out. Big thing for me was making sure she didn't resent me for it.

Disclaimer - I work in an absolutely male dominated, testosterone driven environment, and I've been there for 20 years. I know exactly how my workplace operates, and I know it's completely different than modern woke HR bullshit. We don't celebrate pride month. We don't go to diversity training. I knew this was gonna happen from the get go, so that's why I made absolutely sure that she was initiating and that she understood the risks involved.

Cutlery said:

Disclaimer - I work in an absolutely male dominated, testosterone driven environment, and I've been there for 20 years. I know exactly how my workplace operates, and I know it's completely different than modern woke HR bullshit. We don't celebrate pride month. We don't go to diversity training. I knew this was gonna happen from the get go, so that's why I made absolutely sure that she was initiating and that she understood the risks involved.

Click to expand...

Current company is the opposite female dominated.

Big Phoenix said:

Current company is the opposite female dominated.

Click to expand...

Then I'd hate to be the guy accused of being "creepy" for making the first move.