Dating

Haus

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Reading this I feel compelled to reiterate my completely useless stance here..

I've been married a touch over 20 years. And every single thing I see about how dating has changed since I got married has convinced me that if/when my wife comes to her senses and gives me walking papers I will probably just go the "H&B" route as to wholly avoid any interaction with "modern dating".

And I say this will full sympathy to those of you needing to deal with this hoeflation based poontang economy we live in now.
 

Animosity

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Dating hasnt changed at all. The only thing that has changed is the inclusion of apps. Shitty people will still be shitty, cheaters will still cheat. Chuk is 90000 years old and is still having the same issues since he was 20, but he also is probably half the issue lol.
 
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Chukzombi

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Dating hasnt changed at all. The only thing that has changed is the inclusion of apps. Shitty people will still be shitty, cheaters will still cheat. Chuk is 90000 years old and is still having the same issues since he was 20, but he also is probably half the issue lol.
That's not true. I wasnt lonely at 20. There was the local Hispanic and Italian girls to mess with. All you needed was a bottle of some vodka or tequila and you were in the door. That's still true today, but I'm not looking for some pussy. Looking for somebody to spend time with and laugh at my corny jokes.

-edit
Of course I don't want to spend time with no goblin or orc women. I can find an old bat to talk to, but aww no. She's got to look decent too.
 
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Animosity

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That's not true. I wasnt lonely at 20. There was the local Hispanic and Italian girls to mess with. All you needed was a bottle of some vodka or tequila and you were in the door. That's still true today, but I'm not looking for some pussy. Looking for somebody to spend time with and laugh at my corny jokes.

-edit
Of course I don't want to spend time with no goblin or orc women. I can find an old bat to talk to, but aww no. She's got to look decent too.
Getting laid and dating are 2 different things. You didnt dispute anything I said other than saying you needed booze to get girls.
 
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Chukzombi

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Getting laid and dating are 2 different things. You didnt dispute anything I said other than saying you needed booze to get girls.
I don't need booze, just that it's easy to open the door with that key. I have a lady friend who I can do whatever with as long as I have a bottle of something. And yes dating and pussy is different. Both are easy on their own, but both combined is more difficult as you get older. Even "Maria" set the relationship up before we started dating. She said she wanted no "friends with benefits". that if we are going to do this thing, then we are doing it with a goal in mind. The goal being marriage. Which I was fine with. She's a school teacher who makes a decent salary and her son turned 11 today and we get along fine. She wanted that marriage goal to come faster than I was prepared for. She started moving shit around my apartment and more or less telling me how to live my life. She kept talking about "when we start living together..." scenarios. We were only dating a few months. I was thinking about a few years before we started doing all that stuff.
 

Haus

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Here Chuk, I don't know if this helps, but I saw some research...

1726102029755.png
 

darkmiasma

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It's because you took her back after she cheated on you. Put your big boy pants on, kick her to the curb and find someone else. So you're a little sad or lonely for a bit - man up.
 
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Haus

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I get it. I deserve what I get for trying to have an honest conversation on this board. Like Wtf did I expect other than feces from a monkey thrown at me?
Dude, I'm messing with you. Sorry if I hit a nerve wrong. You have every sympathy from me for being lonely. I was much the same way. I partied a ton and got laid left right and center in my 20's, and into my 30's. Then that all started feeling empty. I started realizing my dreams were about a family and who I would grow old with. I was lucky, I met a women who lined up perfectly for me and I'm 20 years into a marriage to her. But I remember back in my 30's being a stats nerd I knew every single statistic about how likely it was I would die alone.

As for honest dating conversation, and this come from someone who just admitted he's thrilled not to have to deal with this day and age's version of a dating scene, would be to target to the type of women you want to meet. Which I'm sure you're already doing. You might not be religious, but more religious women are of the mental disposition to work at being good long term partners, maybe give that a look?
 

Hoss

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I get it. I deserve what I get for trying to have an honest conversation on this board. Like Wtf did I expect other than feces from a monkey thrown at me?
This is the grownup section. Shit posting isn't allowed. You're not getting a tenth of the feces you'd be getting in any other section.

I don't think you wanted advice anyway. You wanted an emotional tampon and that was provided. Come back when you want advice and I bet it's different.
 

The_Black_Log Foler

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That's not true. I wasnt lonely at 20. There was the local Hispanic and Italian girls to mess with. All you needed was a bottle of some vodka or tequila and you were in the door. That's still true today, but I'm not looking for some pussy. Looking for somebody to spend time with and laugh at my corny jokes.

-edit
Of course I don't want to spend time with no goblin or orc women. I can find an old bat to talk to, but aww no. She's got to look decent too.
Chuk you’re trying to break out of your loneliness with hookups. Hookups, flings, alcohol etc won’t solve your loneliness problem. I don’t think finding “the one” will even resolve it. What I do think will resolve it can be found in the catholic vs Protestant vs orthodoxy thread but I’ll leave that discussion to that thread.
 

Haus

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Chuk you’re trying to break out of your loneliness with hookups. Hookups, flings, alcohol etc won’t solve your loneliness problem. I don’t think finding “the one” will even resolve it. What I do think will resolve it can be found in the catholic vs Protestant vs orthodoxy thread but I’ll leave that discussion to that thread.
Well, I would add that even if it doesn't involve a personal pivot into religious belief, there is good to be found in getting as comfortable with yourself as possible. Which I know sounds like trite pop psychology, but fundamentally for me it was when I realized how to be OK with myself more I suddenly found I was more confident and able to attract a better tier of women.

But back to the central dilemma you have, regardless of people saying it hasn't changed, it's pretty easy to document how women having access to mountains of dick has, in fact, skewed what they think they deserve to get in terms of a relationship. You can see this in graphs of how woman rate men in attractiveness, versus how men rate women... Here's a decent blog post with a couple graphs on it.

Between the mountain of dick, and societal training now to think "fat is beautiful", etc... You have a lot of women who have completely forgotten how to properly ladder rank themselves.
 
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Chukzombi

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Chuk you’re trying to break out of your loneliness with hookups. Hookups, flings, alcohol etc won’t solve your loneliness problem. I don’t think finding “the one” will even resolve it. What I do think will resolve it can be found in the catholic vs Protestant vs orthodoxy thread but I’ll leave that discussion to that thread.
I am not presently lonely. I was lonely for a time and now that I'm back with Maria I'm good again. my problem isn't with hookups, I can get a hookup fairly easily. The trouble I was having was I didn't want a serious relationship right away. That's what caused me and Maria to break up the first time. She said she wanted a relationship with marriage as the goal. I was ok with that, but she wanted to get married like right away. We were together 6 months and she was already talking about it. I was thinking we would be together for years before we started talking marriage. I mean Wtf, You don't know someone that well in just 6 months. If I'm getting married, it's going to be til I drop dead and I'm not going to live with a woman for the rest of my life based on a short time knowing her.

Last time I got engaged it was a short term relationship and the engagement didn't even last 6 months. I explained all this to Maria and so far she's good with it, but we only have been back together a few weeks. Maybe the devil worshipper relationship woke her up to what's out there for her and the chukman is her best option.
 

Animosity

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I am not presently lonely. I was lonely for a time and now that I'm back with Maria I'm good again. my problem isn't with hookups, I can get a hookup fairly easily. The trouble I was having was I didn't want a serious relationship right away. That's what caused me and Maria to break up the first time. She said she wanted a relationship with marriage as the goal. I was ok with that, but she wanted to get married like right away. We were together 6 months and she was already talking about it. I was thinking we would be together for years before we started talking marriage. I mean Wtf, You don't know someone that well in just 6 months. If I'm getting married, it's going to be til I drop dead and I'm not going to live with a woman for the rest of my life based on a short time knowing her.

Last time I got engaged it was a short term relationship and the engagement didn't even last 6 months. I explained all this to Maria and so far she's good with it, but we only have been back together a few weeks. Maybe the devil worshipper relationship woke her up to what's out there for her and the chukman is her best option.
Dude youre in your 50s and dating women in their 40s. They dont have years to date and see if then they possibly want to settle down. You should know after 6 months if you could see your relationship going in that direction. No ones saying that at 6 months you have to decide on the spot to get married right now. If after 6 months you arent sure or dont know then you should probably move on until you find someone who does make you feel that way. But you have so many excuses for every choice in your dating life, that you are a big part of the problem in it. Like others have said, until you take time to figure out your own things and whats important to you, you will just keep spinning your wheels and dating the wrong people and running into the same issues. Youre just repeating cycles and patterns.
 
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Chukzombi

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Dude youre in your 50s and dating women in their 40s. They dont have years to date and see if then they possibly want to settle down. You should know after 6 months if you could see your relationship going in that direction. No ones saying that at 6 months you have to decide on the spot to get married right now. If after 6 months you arent sure or dont know then you should probably move on until you find someone who does make you feel that way. But you have so many excuses for every choice in your dating life, that you are a big part of the problem in it. Like others have said, until you take time to figure out your own things and whats important to you, you will just keep spinning your wheels and dating the wrong people and running into the same issues. Youre just repeating cycles and patterns.
Well, if I only have a year or less to decide, then I'll just stay single. I don't see the point of getting married, we aren't gonna have kids, I really just want somebody to spend my nights and weekends with. I have nothing against marriage and I wouldn't mind marrying this girl. I just don't like being rushed. I probably am too set in my single ways. Still, it doesn't mean I have to live like a hermit
 

Animosity

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Well, if I only have a year or less to decide, then I'll just stay single. I don't see the point of getting married, we aren't gonna have kids, I really just want somebody to spend my nights and weekends with. I have nothing against marriage and I wouldn't mind marrying this girl. I just don't like being rushed. I probably am too set in my single ways. Still, it doesn't mean I have to live like a hermit
And all of that is completely fine. There are women out there who dont need marriage either. You just need to find someone who's views align with yours.
 
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Animosity

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Once neither of you are fighting against the baby clock, what's the hurry though?
There isnt. Some people just like the idea of marriage and know that something is more permanent before making big investments like buying a house together and such.
 
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Xarpolis

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There isnt. Some people just like the idea of marriage and know that something is more permanent before making big investments like buying a house together and such.
A friend of mine really wants to settle down and get married and hopefully have a kid. But he spent so much wasted time with women he knew he didn't want to be with long term. Pussy is a hell of a drug. You need to learn how to deny yourself if you want to find something more significant.
 
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