CaughtCross
Ahn'Qiraj Raider
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This is horrible advice. Most woman want to go on a date, not an interview.
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This is horrible advice. Most woman want to go on a date, not an interview.
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Oblio
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What is the end goal of dating? A relationship, right?
I don't tolerate fake bullshit in my life, I am direct in everything I do. My wife fell in love with me because I am direct and did not want to play games. If a girl/woman wants to play games or be fake in anyway with me then she fuck right off. I am an ideal partner, when I say I am going to do something I actually do it. I am very generous in every aspect of a relationship. Basically I am fucking catch.
Animosity
I guess you are right. This isn't dating advice, this is relationship advice. If you want to be a habitual dater like Khane take his advice, if you want a relationship take mine. Bottom line is I am suggesting honesty be your highest priority, do as you wish.
I don't tolerate fake bullshit in my life, I am direct in everything I do. My wife fell in love with me because I am direct and did not want to play games. If a girl/woman wants to play games or be fake in anyway with me then she fuck right off. I am an ideal partner, when I say I am going to do something I actually do it. I am very generous in every aspect of a relationship. Basically I am fucking catch.
Animosity
I guess you are right. This isn't dating advice, this is relationship advice. If you want to be a habitual dater like Khane take his advice, if you want a relationship take mine. Bottom line is I am suggesting honesty be your highest priority, do as you wish.
Khane
Got something right about marriage
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I'd say you're confused about what "honesty" is. You seem to think a checklist of questions that are probably not going to get forthright answers because they are nebulous in nature is "honesty" and apparently think letting certain things have a natural progression is "dishonest".
"What is your desired frequency for sex" especially if phrased that way, is also kind of a psychotic and creepy question. I'd assume you'd at least be a little more clever in getting that information.
I'm just picturing you in a german military uniform with a riding crop under your arm and some woman sitting on a chair with a light shone in her face. "vaaaat can you tell me about ze sex fraulein"
"What is your desired frequency for sex" especially if phrased that way, is also kind of a psychotic and creepy question. I'd assume you'd at least be a little more clever in getting that information.
I'm just picturing you in a german military uniform with a riding crop under your arm and some woman sitting on a chair with a light shone in her face. "vaaaat can you tell me about ze sex fraulein"
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Khane
Got something right about marriage
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What is the frequency you would like to fuck this thread if I may ask?
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3 times a week. But only if you want to do it too. Trolling when the other party isn't genuinely reciprocating just doesn't lead to meaningful lasting online relationships.
CaughtCross
Ahn'Qiraj Raider
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What is the end goal of dating? A relationship, right?
I don't tolerate fake bullshit in my life, I am direct in everything I do. My wife fell in love with me because I am direct and did not want to play games. If a girl/woman wants to play games or be fake in anyway with me then she fuck right off. I am an ideal partner, when I say I am going to do something I actually do it. I am very generous in every aspect of a relationship. Basically I am fucking catch.
You wont get a relationship with your advice because you wont be getting any second dates following that. It sounds like you have been out of dating a long time and really shouldnt be posting in a dating thread.
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Oblio
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Sorry for being blunt and direct here with forum bros!?!? I have tact and I am able to phrase things in the proper way to get the proper response. If you think I would phrase it that exact way or bring it up as the first question then I don't know what to tell you. There is a way to communicate in a very direct manner and still remain tactful. Like I said I backed off the first date, but no way I am getting beyond six dates without having some sort of an idea of what our sex life will be like should we enter into a long term relationship. You are creating a narrative in your head of how I would do/say things that is likely not accurate to the reality. I am not going to write a script for him like the first 20 offensive plays in a football game, the goal is to get in the End Zone and I am just telling him my offensive philosophy. He has to speak in his own words with his own style, I merely suggesting to be honest and upfront.
1000% agree. That is why I suggest figuring that out as soon as possible. In my 25 years have there been a handful of times that scheduled sex does not start out great because one or both of us isn't present. This happens for various reasons usually stress or just being fucking tired. Sometimes we just say okay not tonight, other times we figure out a way to help one another be more present. So basically yes, if fucking your partner feels like fucking a sex doll then something ain't right and you need to communicate with honesty.
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Oblio
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Sounds like you need to read the multiple times I backed off the "first date" comment. I dealt with Khane's unmarried ass talking about marriage for years in the marriage thread.
Khane
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Oblio
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I just think you are a fucking clown when it comes to women and your relationship history (as posted by you) backs that up.
Cad
scientia potentia est
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Sometimes I wonder though if all the games people who are dating say you have to play is the reason they're still dating rather than in a relationship.
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Oblio
Utah
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Dude read my follow ups, stop with this bullshit narrative. Do you an Khane share the same brain? Are you single?
Cad
scientia potentia est
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Sure, but it really depends. I don't want to go on a date and just have small talk. We go out with friends all the time, and a lot of times I'm put in the position of talking to someone's new girlfriend or boyfriend, and they're nervous and I'm not, so it feels like an interrogation sometimes. I'm just sitting there asking about them and they're not really asking questions back. Thats not a great spot to be in, and I wouldn't want to be around people who are like that. Conversation should definitely flow both ways.
I would imagine on a first date the point is to determine compatibility so you can decide if you want more dates - I guess thats different if you're trying to get laid vs. trying to find a long term partner.
How you behave on dates depends on what you want out of those dates... this should not be shocking. What Oblio wants might be different than what you guys want.
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Animosity
Silver Baronet of the Realm
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You do realize you just explained what compatibility is right? "If the conversation doesnt flow". If it doesnt flow you guys have nothing in common and do not go on another date. Getting to know people is small talk. Its not the small talk bullshit you have with your coworkers on Monday mornings at the water cooler. Being forced to meet your friends new girlfriend is different. You arent both there looking for the same thing. People go on dates for a lot of reasons. Not just to find a long term relationship or get laid.
Oblio is offering advice of a guy whos probably married to the only woman hes slept with. Thats like taking marriage advice from a guy who has multiple divorces. Or how to use technology from your grandparents. Dating in 2023 is alot different than in 1995. Especially post COVID.
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Cad
scientia potentia est
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Not necessarily. You can have great conversation with someone with vastly different life goals and wants. You are not compatible with that person even though they are a great conversationalist. I can sit and have a conversation with ANYBODY. That in no way means I want to have a relationship with them.
The guys who married very young and have been married a long time are not wise to the dating "game", but they may be excellent at actually sustaining a relationship and know exactly what it takes to do so. Being good at romantic first dates means jack shit when it comes to long term relationships. I think there's a lot to learn from people who have managed to make it work, just like there's a lot to learn from people who have been on hundreds/thousands of dates. Each person is going to have a perspective.
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Khane
Got something right about marriage
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Of course guys who have been married a long time have an idea of how to sustain a relationship.
But that's not what the conversation was about. He posted a checklist of inquiries to ask on first or early dates. It's a very rigid approach that is more robotic than romantic. He was confusing trying to determine if a woman is a good match and shares his ideals with, as others have said, interviewing them expecting real answers.
And if that wasn't his intent he did a poor job conveying his advice. And that's what he was being called out on. If you sincerely expect that you can suss out what the woman sitting across from you is all about with that series of questions you'll be in for a very disappointing dating life.
And of course he couldn't help but launch straight into a hypocritical ad hominem.
But that's not what the conversation was about. He posted a checklist of inquiries to ask on first or early dates. It's a very rigid approach that is more robotic than romantic. He was confusing trying to determine if a woman is a good match and shares his ideals with, as others have said, interviewing them expecting real answers.
And if that wasn't his intent he did a poor job conveying his advice. And that's what he was being called out on. If you sincerely expect that you can suss out what the woman sitting across from you is all about with that series of questions you'll be in for a very disappointing dating life.
And of course he couldn't help but launch straight into a hypocritical ad hominem.
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