Tuco
I got Tuco'd!
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- 82,469
Depression
- Thread starter Tarrant
- Start date
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Guest, it's time once again for the massively important and exciting FoH Asshat Tournament!
Go here and give us your nominations!Who's been the biggest Asshat in the last year? Give us your worst ones!
Kuriin
Just a Nurse
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- 1,020
Exercise and get out into the sunlight. They will increase your feel good neurotransmitters plus your vitamin D and it WILL help you feel better (regardless of HOW little it is). Staying inside all day and playing video games does more harm than good. As Azeth and Ubiquitrips mentioned, having a sense of accomplishment is a fantastic way of staving off depression.
Fuck. Sorry, man.
I was listening to a podcast today, and they were dealing with depression. Robin Williams came up, of course, and one of the guys made the point of saying that we need to stop saying he died of suicide. He was killed by depression.
We need to start seeing it as a real illness. As something wrong with the body, not the "mind". Something that needs to be treated as seriously as cancer or HIV/AIDS or heart disease.
Shonuff
Mr. Poopybutthole
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Since they've told you that you are that valuable, you could always hint at leaving for a company that has career succession, or ask for a raise.
Shonuff
Mr. Poopybutthole
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That was me in my Everquest days. I worked for a company that gave us 60 days vacation. I remember sitting in L. Guk for three days without sleeping, farming the FBSS. I'd take a week off, and camp shit the whole week, and play until I passed out. Then I'd wake up, and do it again.
Now I'm married, own a business and have kids. Those days are done, I'm doing other things. At times, I felt separated from the outside world. One time, I was on a flight for a business trip, and the plane almost flipped over while landing (high winds). My life didn't pass before my eyes, but my bard in Everquest did (his name is Lyrical). After that, I reassessed some things, if I play an MMO 20 hours a week, that's a lot.
I'm not a hardcore gamer all the time any more, just sometimes.
I think I'm around 10-20 hours between BF4 and Divinity.
The last time I caught myself bingeing was when I was playing Project 1999. Prior to that it was as far back as Vanguard's release in 2007.
Chris
Potato del Grande
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20 hours a week is still 3 hours a day or your weekend gone, which is basically what I did while working. That is a lot of other shit which you could be doing and none of the gaming contributes to other parts of your life. I spent a few hours watching a movie today and that is something that at least can come up in conversation outside my 1-2 nerd friends.
I just had a really bad day and got blackout drunk for the first time in my life.
Now I know why I don't do that.
I remember throwing up in the sink at the bar and getting a cab called for me and then... nothing.
Now I know why I don't do that.
I remember throwing up in the sink at the bar and getting a cab called for me and then... nothing.
Kreugen
Vyemm Raider
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But if you don't do it at least once you're a cunt and all your stories suck. (Jim Jefferies)
Just look at your avatar. That was probably you, singing karaoke. Using lyrics to a song that doesn't exist.
And the bit about having something to talk about is so true. Because you can't talk about playing games to people. Even if you can, that shit is boring. I hate having conversations about games. Which seems odd, given my umpteen thousand posts on the subject.
Just look at your avatar. That was probably you, singing karaoke. Using lyrics to a song that doesn't exist.
And the bit about having something to talk about is so true. Because you can't talk about playing games to people. Even if you can, that shit is boring. I hate having conversations about games. Which seems odd, given my umpteen thousand posts on the subject.
I remember trying to light something on fire. And the bartender was hot. And puking in their sink. But that's about it.
All their "regular" shots were like triples. I had 4 or 5. That didn't help.
And yeah, talking about games is so boring, to me. I mean, it's something to do on the internets, and with friends you know are interested, but beyond that you have to have some kind of interests outside of gaming. That's why I often hate talking to nerds, even though I'm a huge nerd myself.
All their "regular" shots were like triples. I had 4 or 5. That didn't help.
And yeah, talking about games is so boring, to me. I mean, it's something to do on the internets, and with friends you know are interested, but beyond that you have to have some kind of interests outside of gaming. That's why I often hate talking to nerds, even though I'm a huge nerd myself.
Fuck. Now I'm feeling conflicted. Maybe getting shitfaced for the first time in my life reallywasgood for me.
I'd left my keys with the bartender because I knew going in how bad I wanted to get. After the bender was over, she called me a cab and I got home. Don't remember any of that though.
But I had to go back and get the keys today. I was feeling embarassed the entire way. But I walk in and get congratulated by the bartenders. And you know what? It felt easy to talk to them, after that night. And I was feeling better all day. A *lot* fucking better. Even better than when I first started taking my meds.
Maybe what I've needed all this time is to just embarass the shit out of myself unashamedly. Maybe I've just been too fucking wound up and had my head so far up my ass I could smell the breeze.
Maybe I need to take up drinking, professionally.
I'd left my keys with the bartender because I knew going in how bad I wanted to get. After the bender was over, she called me a cab and I got home. Don't remember any of that though.
But I had to go back and get the keys today. I was feeling embarassed the entire way. But I walk in and get congratulated by the bartenders. And you know what? It felt easy to talk to them, after that night. And I was feeling better all day. A *lot* fucking better. Even better than when I first started taking my meds.
Maybe what I've needed all this time is to just embarass the shit out of myself unashamedly. Maybe I've just been too fucking wound up and had my head so far up my ass I could smell the breeze.
Maybe I need to take up drinking, professionally.
Oh, it's not for the depression. Not really. More for the social anxiety.
My whole life, I've been boring. I might have bent rules, here or there, but I never did anything exicting. Or unexpected. I was Bilbo fucking Baggins. Last night was Gandalf knocking on my door with a bottle of whiskey. The other night, for the first time, I said fuck-it-all and threw caution to the wind. I made an ass of myself in public and there were no lasting consequences. No one fucking cared. And that's what I've been afraid of my whole life. I've been so goddamned arrogant to think people do care. I always thought I would get shit if I stepped out of line. But all I got was a verbal high five from the hot bartender and my keys back.
One of the things fueling my depression is social anxiety and isolation, and one of the things fueling my social anxiety is my depression. I've been trying to go about this by fighting the depression first, but maybe I need to go the other way.
My whole life, I've been boring. I might have bent rules, here or there, but I never did anything exicting. Or unexpected. I was Bilbo fucking Baggins. Last night was Gandalf knocking on my door with a bottle of whiskey. The other night, for the first time, I said fuck-it-all and threw caution to the wind. I made an ass of myself in public and there were no lasting consequences. No one fucking cared. And that's what I've been afraid of my whole life. I've been so goddamned arrogant to think people do care. I always thought I would get shit if I stepped out of line. But all I got was a verbal high five from the hot bartender and my keys back.
One of the things fueling my depression is social anxiety and isolation, and one of the things fueling my social anxiety is my depression. I've been trying to go about this by fighting the depression first, but maybe I need to go the other way.
Honestly, it feels a lot like the revelation that spurred me to start losing weight a while back. A shift in thinking.
I still have to put it into practice. But now, when I imagine myself getting back out there... I don't see myself running. I don't see failure.
I still have to put it into practice. But now, when I imagine myself getting back out there... I don't see myself running. I don't see failure.
Today went well...
Went to another meetup and... I didn't feel any of that usual crap.
Okay, so my legs felt a little jittery going there. But once I was there, nothing. No butterflies. No desire to run. I felt relaxed. I was able to just talk to people. I haven't felt that good in... a long fucking time.
Went to another meetup and... I didn't feel any of that usual crap.
Okay, so my legs felt a little jittery going there. But once I was there, nothing. No butterflies. No desire to run. I felt relaxed. I was able to just talk to people. I haven't felt that good in... a long fucking time.
JFC I'm out of control here.
Just asked someone out for the first time in my life. Rejected, but whatever. Still made a friend, though.
Just asked someone out for the first time in my life. Rejected, but whatever. Still made a friend, though.
So yeah. I've been back to the bar a couple times, again. This last weekend, and again last night.
Last weekend I was feeling like shit. I'd just had a panic attack at the dragon boat races. Social anxiety is a bitch. Doesn't help when you've also got depression. So I drank a lot. I also lamented over an old picture of myself from when I was 250+ lbs heavier. But I ended up burning the picture that night, realizing it was just anchoring me to the past. I still didn't feel much different though.
Fast forward to last night, though. Went back, got a little tipsy, but not out of my skull. Showed a picture of the picture I'd taken to the bartender. She didn't even recognize who it was. All this time, I've been thinking it was obvious that I was still the fatter me, and people couldn't even tell. I'm completely indistinguishable from the old me. The feeling I got was... liberating. While I haven't felt tied to that picture since I burned it, I now don't feel tied to thatpersonI used to be. The worry I was feeling is gone.
Don't get me wrong, I still have a long ways to go before I'm "normal." But it still feels amazing.
Last weekend I was feeling like shit. I'd just had a panic attack at the dragon boat races. Social anxiety is a bitch. Doesn't help when you've also got depression. So I drank a lot. I also lamented over an old picture of myself from when I was 250+ lbs heavier. But I ended up burning the picture that night, realizing it was just anchoring me to the past. I still didn't feel much different though.
Fast forward to last night, though. Went back, got a little tipsy, but not out of my skull. Showed a picture of the picture I'd taken to the bartender. She didn't even recognize who it was. All this time, I've been thinking it was obvious that I was still the fatter me, and people couldn't even tell. I'm completely indistinguishable from the old me. The feeling I got was... liberating. While I haven't felt tied to that picture since I burned it, I now don't feel tied to thatpersonI used to be. The worry I was feeling is gone.
Don't get me wrong, I still have a long ways to go before I'm "normal." But it still feels amazing.
I have my first therapy session coming up on the 27th. Just been trying to cope as best as I can until then.
And yeah... I've been finding myself feeling pretty strongly about mental health lately (I know, right?). So much so that I'm thinking I might start looking up places I can volunteer. It's not something I want to do as a career, but I want to help. I don't have it as bad as most, but seeing even this lesser side of it has made me realize how bad it can get.
And yeah... I've been finding myself feeling pretty strongly about mental health lately (I know, right?). So much so that I'm thinking I might start looking up places I can volunteer. It's not something I want to do as a career, but I want to help. I don't have it as bad as most, but seeing even this lesser side of it has made me realize how bad it can get.