Depression

Eomer_sl said:

Sounds like terrible people all the way around. Why do people insist on shitting where they eat?

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Because it's too much effort to not eat in the bathroom?

a_skeleton_02_sl said:

Yeah that's what I originally did, the problem is he was a friend for a long time so all of friends are friends with each other hell half of my friends live with him. I initially withdrew from all of them and I think it just made things worse and I don't want to do that to myself again.

I guess what I'm saying is they will always be "around" even if she is trying her best to alienate him to our social circles.

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You sound a lot like me. Especially the rationales.

Even if she can be a better person one day, it won't be for you, it won't be with you, it won't be because of you. She won't ever admit she was at fault. She won't ever make it okay.

You're friend doesn't want your help. He doesn't want your advice. He "knows" what's wrong and how to fix it. He's going to have to make his own mistakes and learn his own lessons. If he's as good of a friend as you think he is he'll let you know when he's been kicked to the curb and see's it for what it really was.

Don't give up your friends or peer group. Don't respect their feelings. Be polite when you interact but pretend they just don't exist. Don't give either of them the satisfaction of upsetting you. Don't give them the false vindication that you were the one in the wrong by slinking away. They can both go fuck themselves.

Do as I say, not as I did man. Because as I did kind of sucked. Love who she could have been if you have to but the bitch isn't actually that person. Sorry bro.

Going through withdrawals from medication that doesn't work anymore.

They refuse to help me get off the graveyard shift at work.

Therapist is incommunicado.

I feel like I'm dying.

Troll_sl said:

Going through withdrawals from medication that doesn't work anymore.

They refuse to help me get off the graveyard shift at work.

Therapist is incommunicado.

I feel like I'm dying.

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Bro, I feel ya, when it rains, it pours. Seems like life is one big Rollercoaster with nothing but downward spirals.

This is more of a post for everyone who suffers from depression, going through hard times, even thinking about suicide, or will think about it in the future.

I've been through some shit in my life, really bad shit, I've seen people die I loved, I've lost people that I was hopelessly in love with, lost my daughter to the court system, abusive parents and drug addict brothers, bullying in school, toxic shit all around that can and has lead people down that dark road of no return.

Somehow I've managed to keep on going and life still isn't a bowl of lucky charms but you have to see and look to the future for the possibility that things can and often do get better. There's a perfect circle song that reminds me of this idea that, there's no rush to end things, although at this moment life seems unbearable and you just can't deal with the pain anymore but we're all going to die eventually, what if tomorrow or next week you find something to live for, you find that special someone that makes it all worth while, you might even win the lottery one day.

You're definitely not alone in your struggles in life, reach out and find a shoulder to lean on, even if it's a complete stranger, not everyone understands exactly what you're going through but that doesn't mean they don't care.

Except I am completely alone in my life and complete strangers just stop listening when I do try to reach out.

Troll_sl said:

Except I am completely alone in my life and complete strangers just stop listening when I do try to reach out.

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Maybe around you, but you're not the only one that feels the hopelessness. Most people hide these feelings very well because it makes them feel uncomfortable admitting it to others, it's a horrible disease and yes it's a disease in my opinion.

Sometimes just working out helps alleviate the symptoms, push ups, sit ups, stuff you can do at home.

At the core you feel worthless and you need to find a way to feel better about yourself. Succeed at something, drop a few pounds, go fishing and catch some fish.

Hell, put up a plentyoffish account and bang some fatties to get your confidence up. At the very least you can find someone to talk to.

Rhuma_sl said:

Maybe around you, but you're not the only one that feels the hopelessness. Most people hide these feelings very well because it makes them feel uncomfortable admitting it to others, it's a horrible disease and yes it's a disease in my opinion.

Sometimes just working out helps alleviate the symptoms, push ups, sit ups, stuff you can do at home.

At the core you feel worthless and you need to find a way to feel better about yourself. Succeed at something, drop a few pounds, go fishing and catch some fish.

Hell, put up a plentyoffish account and bang some fatties to get your confidence up. At the very least you can find someone to talk to.

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Fuck off

I had to get off the zolof as it was affecting my blood sugar by a pretty good amount. The internist I saw who presribed it said I should really seek counseling instead of getting another anti depressent. He sent me a registered letter saying he would no longer treat me becuase I sent a message thru their sit to him "if I ever get fixed medically I'll stop being depressed, it's brought on by seeing doctors. Not what is wrong with me." I guess he didn't like that, it's 100% true.

I called the MS sociecity to see if they had a specialist in my area who treats MS, because apparently it's rare to find one and apparently most neurologist I've found out don't know squat about it or the things that mimic it and it's similar diseases. I called and apparently it was after hours there, they have a recording with the number of the suicide hotline to call if you can't get in touch with them. They wonder why people get depressed, duh.

Troll_sl said:

Fuck off

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Complains people don't listen. Tells people to fuck off when they do.

I understand you feel terrible, but if that is how you respond to those who reach out, it doesn't surprise me you're having trouble getting people to listen.

He wasn't listening. He was just doing what everyone does: give ineffectual, unasked-for "treatments".

Not to sound too much like an emo teenager, but...

Most people just don't understand that kind of existential pain. They just don't know what it feels like to hate your own existence so much that anything is preferable, even ending it all. But that's a good thing they don't. It's the worst fucking feeling in the world.

BRB, crawling in my skin.

Been there, done that. Unless you have something physically wrong with your brain you can always choose to see hope instead of emptiness. It is literally a choice you make. Then you just keep making it. Every day. Once you do that, you'll eventually get to the point where you wonder wtf you were depressed about in the first place. Clean your home. Start working out. Get back into school. That's ground work that will help, but you still have to accept that it's up to you to want to not be depressed. Giving up and killing yourself is easier. By far. It means taking ultimate responsibility for yourself. Your life. Your thoughts. You don't get to blame anyone or anything else anymore. You have to own it in order to change it.

It's reductionist to reduce mental disorders to a simple chemical imbalance. Pharmakos is right, you have to make changes. If you keep doing the same things over and over and you keep feeling bad, you need to change it up.

Or you can stop asking for help and make yourself so obnoxious and repellent that people stop offering it.

mkopec_sl said:

Family is utterly and completely devastated.

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This has been the only thing keeping me alive for years now.

Question for people that gone through and come out the other side of depression.

I've been in a good place for about a year now - depression isn't a part of my life anymore (amazing to say that after 15 years). Awhile ago, I started to notice that not only did I no longer have the extreme up and downs of emotions, but I had very little emotional fluctuations at all. Like the really good stuff that was happening in my life - yeah it was good, I was happy, but not overjoyed in the way I expected to be. The bad shit - same kind of reaction. Basically generally apathetic. I reacted logically to emotion, knowing what Ishouldbe feeling because that was how I would have reacted years ago. I figured it was a side effect of meds, so it didn't really concern me.

Now though, I have been off meds for 6~ months and it is still the same. I just don't have the extreme range of emotions anymore. Part of me wonders ifthisis normal, and what I was like before was fucked up through years of depression. But another part of me wonders if there is something new wrong. Like when I was going through some tough stuff with my husband, I was finding it odd how stuff didn't really bother me, yet logically I knew it should have, so I reacted accordingly.

Not sure if this even makes sense... just wondering if anyone else has gone through something similar.

lindz_sl said:

Question for people that gone through and come out the other side of depression.

I've been in a good place for about a year now - depression isn't a part of my life anymore (amazing to say that after 15 years). Awhile ago, I started to notice that not only did I no longer have the extreme up and downs of emotions, but I had very little emotional fluctuations at all. Like the really good stuff that was happening in my life - yeah it was good, I was happy, but not overjoyed in the way I expected to be. The bad shit - same kind of reaction. Basically generally apathetic. I reacted logically to emotion, knowing what Ishouldbe feeling because that was how I would have reacted years ago. I figured it was a side effect of meds, so it didn't really concern me.

Now though, I have been off meds for 6~ months and it is still the same. I just don't have the extreme range of emotions anymore. Part of me wonders ifthisis normal, and what I was like before was fucked up through years of depression. But another part of me wonders if there is something new wrong. Like when I was going through some tough stuff with my husband, I was finding it odd how stuff didn't really bother me, yet logically I knew it should have, so I reacted accordingly.

Not sure if this even makes sense... just wondering if anyone else has gone through something similar.

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Yes, that is how things have been for me. I was manic depressive, though, so the extremes on both end were part of the initial problem. Overall it is much more comfortable for me to keep things towards the middle. It lets me see when things start pushing towards one way or another, and I can head them off at the source.