I can agree with much of what you said, but I wouldn't go so far as to call it perfect.
FFXIV was probably the worst game I've played in this regard. No one seemed to care about any runs they did, and people just jumped into random group shit constantly. It was full-on zerg mode. Oh, you all wiped? No worries, just try again with your 'echo' buff until you beat it! I mean FFS, one of the first PUGs I ran in that game I almost pulled my hair out. I'd been watching YouTube videos on the dungeon to know what to do, and the other people in the group just ran around randomly. I ended up asking friend if that was normal, and they all said yes.
I'd like an MMO that can strike a good balance, but I don't really see players ever asking for that. People usually either seem to gravitate towards one extreme or the other. It's almost like politics in that you probably need to find a compromise, but people end up digging their heels in and turning these things into ideological debates.