First World Problems

Mr_Bungle

Interstellar Botanist
<Gold Donor>
824
709
I had a large dinner consisting mostly of pasta, fast forward a half an hour and I'm fast asleep in a food coma at 8pm. Now I'm awake 6 hours later and in desperate need of water, now I have to walk downstairs! What a hassle!
 
  • 1Jew
Reactions: 1 user

Swagdaddy

There is a war going on over control of your mind
1,960
1,870
when i cant find a bobby pin or paper click to scrape resin out of my glass weed pipe
 
  • 1Jew
  • 1Solidarity
Reactions: 1 users

Brad2770

Avatar of War Slayer
5,221
16,408
Grew up listening to that station. Was it the morning show disbanding that finally did it in? Can't imagine many people listened to it for their amazing 5 song rotation.

Not real sure why they got rid of it. I'm guessing because it wasn't what it was in the 90's. I think Jesse was the strongest part of the station. She was the main reason I listened. Jagger leaving probably didn't help, especially how he left. If you want to fill the void, 94.5 The Buzz in Houston is a good replacement on the iHeartRadio app.
 
  • 1Jew
Reactions: 1 user

H.A. Monkey

Golden Knight of the Realm
412
158
when i cant find a bobby pin or paper click to scrape resin out of my glass weed pipe

First off, a big diaper pin is the best for a 'pokey' to empty the bowl. To scrape the excess resin use a cheap pocket knife. Not first world problems. Pothead problems.
 
  • 1Jew
Reactions: 1 user

Brad2770

Avatar of War Slayer
5,221
16,408
Remember when Jessie put the Barbie song on repeat? That shit was awesome. Not the song, just the defiant act.
 
  • 1Jew
Reactions: 1 user

j00t

Silver Baronet of the Realm
7,380
7,471
Ordered a medium pizza but Wegmans made it a large. Don't mind the leftovers but their larges are 18" and the box doesn't fit in a side-by-side style fridge.
Dude, Wegmans pizzas are great, but the boxes are so huge you have to individually wrap each leftover piece
 
  • 1Jew
Reactions: 1 user

uncognito

Trakanon Raider
1,181
754
The mobile weed dispensary in DC used to always set up shop in popeyes and it was awesome getting my weed and chicken in the same place. But the last few times I met them they have been setting up at starbucks. :( No more one stop shop.
 
  • 1Jew
  • 1Rustled
Reactions: 1 users

Hoss

Make America's Team Great Again
<Gold Donor>
25,537
12,023
Showering last night. It's been a couple days since my wife and I did the nasty. I suddenly remember some old spank bank material while I'm cleaning my junk and it goes off in my hand.

Get out of the shower, wife is there ordering me on the bed. Apparently she wants to blow me. My mind is racing trying to figure out if I should tell her what just happened, or if I'll be able to pop again. I try for option 2 because she's good at the dick sucking. A few minutes in she figures out what's up and I feel like an asshole. This 'getting old' thing is bullshit; I used to be able to jerk off in the bathroom right before sex and still practically be a 2 pump chump.

This morning she tells me her back is hurting and she thinks it happened when she was trying to blow me. I should probably start a pool on how long it'll be till my next BJ.
 
  • 1Jew
  • 1Bullshit
Reactions: 1 users

Hoss

Make America's Team Great Again
<Gold Donor>
25,537
12,023
lol your lie detector is broken.

Out of curiosity, you found johnny's tales more believable than what part of my post?
 
  • 1Jew
  • 1Bullshit
Reactions: 1 users

Hoss

Make America's Team Great Again
<Gold Donor>
25,537
12,023
I'm actually just an amazing motherfucker.

But I am curious what you think is a lie or embellished. Just wondering so I can get a feel for how much better I am than you.
 
  • 1Jew
  • 1Picard
Reactions: 1 users

Hoss

Make America's Team Great Again
<Gold Donor>
25,537
12,023
FWP: Some creepy dude on the internet is worshipping you so hard, he calls you a liar when you say anything remotely negative about yourself.
 
  • 1Jew
  • 1Picard
  • 1Brony
Reactions: 2 users

Conefed

Blackwing Lair Raider
2,807
1,649
After committing to sitting on the toilet, realized you left your phone in the other room.
 
  • 2Solidarity
  • 1Jew
  • 1Picard
Reactions: 4 users