I"d say she doesn"t like you anymore and you should probably just let it go. I really don"t get people who stalk girls after they"ve broken up. Why the fuck should you care what she"s doing with her life?
Girls who broke your heart thread
- Thread starter Aychamo BanBan
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Guest, it's time once again for the massively important and exciting FoH Asshat Tournament!
Go here and give us your nominations!Who's been the biggest Asshat in the last year? Give us your worst ones!
Eomer
Trakanon Raider
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Hey, I know that I"m as guilty as anyone here of NOT listening to advice that I ask for, but jesus titty fuck man! GET THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR GAY LITTLE STREET RACING SCENE. YOU WILL LOOK BACK ON YOUR 20"S AND WONDER WHY IN THE FUCK YOU WASTED THEM TALKING ABOUT TURBOS ON MOTHERFUCKING NEONS AND COBALTS.Dabamf said:
Get a new hobby, one that puts you in contact with a completely different (and better) social circle, because the street racing scene is something that you"re going to look back on and wonder "what the fuck was I thinking?"
Because if you care about someone, you want to know what"s going on in their life. When I ended things with Xerxes, I didn"t delete her from Facebook because I don"t give a shit what she"s doing and don"t feel any particular urge to check up on her profile (coincidentally I texted a bit with her last night, as she thinks for some stupid reason her gay little Audi TT 3.2 w/ an auto has a hope in hell against my Dinan"d out 335xi w/ manual, and I had to set her straight. Oh and her friend in the building was reading on the common area patio and I had forgotten my speakers out there were blasting Chemical Brothers, so she texted Xerxes to text me to shut it off).Tenks said:
With Chuck and Anne, I immediately deleted them as friends on Facebook because I know I"ll periodically check up on their profiles to see what"s going on in their life. "Oh, she just added a dude as a friend *click* hmm, her age, says he"s single, WHO IS THIS MAN?" I mean the morning after Anne broke up with me her status update was about some creepy dude picking her up at the bar she had called me from (nice, btw). I"m better off not seeing that, however I don"t have the self control to NOT do it, so removing them if only for the time being is probably the best alternative.
So yeah, if you still have feelings for a girl, it"s pretty understandable as to why you"d have to resist the urge to check up on her. In the past you had to do that by talking with mutual friends or family, or just outright showing up at places you know she"d be. Facebook makes it way too easy.
brekk
Dancing Dino Superstar
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I don"t know how else to explain this. I didn"t meet her through street racing, we only did that together one night because its something she"s never really done. Other then the one night taking her out to do that (something fun and different) I have"t gone to street races in 2+ months.
She msg"ed me originally on okcupid, barring that one night everytime we"ve hung out was at her place or a party at one of her friends.
My hobbies are cars, and gaming. If I have to give them both up or hide their existence to find a girl then why would I want to date that person? Please don"t assume that every girl I meet is some street racing whore. Previous to this girl and gamer girl, a girl I dated in January really had no major hobbies of her own, broke it off with her because she became too clingy/too serious maybe a month in.
She msg"ed me originally on okcupid, barring that one night everytime we"ve hung out was at her place or a party at one of her friends.
My hobbies are cars, and gaming. If I have to give them both up or hide their existence to find a girl then why would I want to date that person? Please don"t assume that every girl I meet is some street racing whore. Previous to this girl and gamer girl, a girl I dated in January really had no major hobbies of her own, broke it off with her because she became too clingy/too serious maybe a month in.
I"m confused. Do you not have birth control where you live? One can be in a happy relationship (even marriage) and not have kids come in the picture. I don"t see how marriage = kids is something that has to be followed. My wife and I don"t plan to have kids anytime soon (married for 3 years) and can see it being another 4-5 years before we do. Sometimes one just wants to have someone to be a friend and lover and not just go through hopping from one girl to another.Usha Starchild said:
Fucking ouch!Eomer said:
Removing an ex from your various friends lists is good advice. You can also look at it as a therapeutic "fuck you", although not everyone is going to want that. (Still, at least your exes are still alive)
I"m long out of the dating scene, but it"s nice to see that some of the mistakes I made early on are still being repeated by others: too clingy (check); inappropriate gifts (check); not going for sex when it was first available (check $@%#).
It all works out in the end, though.
When you go looking for hurt, you"ll find it. Masochists. Like ex-wife a few hundred posts back... she came here looking for validation that I was over her, and she"s probably going to be in therapy for quite some time.
Don"t go looking if you can"t handle finding.
Don"t go looking if you can"t handle finding.
Eomer
Trakanon Raider
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Heh, speaking of Facebook stalking: in my first foray in to online dating a couple years ago, I met a girl from a town a couple hours away. She was pretty damn hot (dancer/instructor) and seemed cool enough, but for whatever reason things didn"t quite click. We hung out a couple times around my place, I went up to the town she was from and met her friends and partied, but then for a month she was working in the bush for some lumber company, and when that was done she didn"t really make any effort to start things up again. We were never a couple, certainly. But then that fall she called me and said she"d be in town, going to a bar with some friends, and that she"d love for me to come.
So I showed up at the bar, and as I walked in I see her with her back to me, standing at the bar with some dude beside her with his hand on her ass. I gave them a few moments to get their drinks, and when they turned around I said hello. She introduced me to the dude (come to think of it, he has the exact same name as Anne"s dude, we"ll go with Jay again then), I said hey, and then we walked over to a group of her girlfriends. Two or three of em who were also pretty cute. At that point I had no idea what the fuck was going on, I had kind of assumed she invited me out because she was still interested, and she certainly hadn"t mentioned having met another guy over the summer, and in fact she"d used the excuse of being busy with the lumber company as to why she couldn"t see me.
After maybe 10-15 minutes, a convenient moment came up and I took her aside and asked her if she was dating that guy. She answers all confused, "yeah why?" I don"t remember what I said, not much anyway, and within another 5 minutes I begged off and said I had some friends at a bar down the street and wanted to head over there before the line got ridiculous. To this day I have no idea what the fuck that was about, other than maybe she figured we were just friends and/or she was trying to set me up with her friends.
So yeah, I log in to Facebook today, and guess who is a suggested friend? Even though we have zero mutual friends, she now lives in a city 8 hours away, and were never friends on Facebook (I wasn"t even on it yet, I don"t think). Her privacy settings were wide open, and her profile photo is her and the dude, with a kid that looks to be around a year or a bit more old. Depending on the kid"s exact age, she would have had to get pregnant within a month or two of the Jay incident.
Dodged that bullet!
So I showed up at the bar, and as I walked in I see her with her back to me, standing at the bar with some dude beside her with his hand on her ass. I gave them a few moments to get their drinks, and when they turned around I said hello. She introduced me to the dude (come to think of it, he has the exact same name as Anne"s dude, we"ll go with Jay again then), I said hey, and then we walked over to a group of her girlfriends. Two or three of em who were also pretty cute. At that point I had no idea what the fuck was going on, I had kind of assumed she invited me out because she was still interested, and she certainly hadn"t mentioned having met another guy over the summer, and in fact she"d used the excuse of being busy with the lumber company as to why she couldn"t see me.
After maybe 10-15 minutes, a convenient moment came up and I took her aside and asked her if she was dating that guy. She answers all confused, "yeah why?" I don"t remember what I said, not much anyway, and within another 5 minutes I begged off and said I had some friends at a bar down the street and wanted to head over there before the line got ridiculous. To this day I have no idea what the fuck that was about, other than maybe she figured we were just friends and/or she was trying to set me up with her friends.
So yeah, I log in to Facebook today, and guess who is a suggested friend? Even though we have zero mutual friends, she now lives in a city 8 hours away, and were never friends on Facebook (I wasn"t even on it yet, I don"t think). Her privacy settings were wide open, and her profile photo is her and the dude, with a kid that looks to be around a year or a bit more old. Depending on the kid"s exact age, she would have had to get pregnant within a month or two of the Jay incident.
Dodged that bullet!
brekk
Dancing Dino Superstar
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So I tried to meet up with her to talk in person this afternoon. I had left a foldy chair at her place when we LAN partied last week. She said shed be out of work at 330 but had to leave at 5. IM"d me around 230 saying she had got out early but she was gonna be leaving so she"d leave the door unlocked.
She asked me what was up because she had seen my highly negative away message and facebook status, told her I had wanted to talk in person but this would have to do.
Was straight forward that I had seen the posts about the date. she reponded very indignantly saying.
So I"m not really sure where to go from here. I understand her point about being not being exclusive yet. I had had a talk with a girl in my WoW guild about this early last week to get a girls perspective about just that issue of being "official" and when was right for it.
I can either take this as a pretty blunt hint from her that she expected some sort of talk about being exclusive and was waiting for me to take that step. Or her using our current status as an excuse to go out and have her fun on the side with no guilt. I personally think that after two months even if it wasn"t official we were close enough that she knew it"d hurt me to do something like this and if she didn"t care then she"s not interested in anything serious.
Current plan is to see if she wants to do something this upcoming weekend. If she says yes I"ll guage her enthusiasm about going out, and while were out. If she doesn"t want to then I"ve got my answer about her interest level in me at this point.
She asked me what was up because she had seen my highly negative away message and facebook status, told her I had wanted to talk in person but this would have to do.
Was straight forward that I had seen the posts about the date. she reponded very indignantly saying.
I told her that I was just asking about it and that I wasn"t pissed off just confused and she apologized for being bitchy. Haven"t talked to her since.Her Message said:
So I"m not really sure where to go from here. I understand her point about being not being exclusive yet. I had had a talk with a girl in my WoW guild about this early last week to get a girls perspective about just that issue of being "official" and when was right for it.
I can either take this as a pretty blunt hint from her that she expected some sort of talk about being exclusive and was waiting for me to take that step. Or her using our current status as an excuse to go out and have her fun on the side with no guilt. I personally think that after two months even if it wasn"t official we were close enough that she knew it"d hurt me to do something like this and if she didn"t care then she"s not interested in anything serious.
Current plan is to see if she wants to do something this upcoming weekend. If she says yes I"ll guage her enthusiasm about going out, and while were out. If she doesn"t want to then I"ve got my answer about her interest level in me at this point.
Pretty simple. If you want to be with her, say you do and you don"t want her seeing other people. She either goes for it or doesn"t.
Eomer
Trakanon Raider
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- 272
haha no, I just chose that name cause she"s of Iranian descent. Funny how the world works sometimes. Sorry for using the thread almost as a journal or diary, but tonight was a really good night for me. As I mentioned a few posts back, I had been texting with her a bit in the past few days cause she"d finally managed to get her "dream car", which she"d been yammering about since we"d dated. That dream car is a convertible Audi TT. She ended up with a 2L turbo w/ auto, which is absolutely not a great car IMO.Deadpool said:
Regardless she was pretty proud of it and wanted to show it off to me, as we both were fairly opinionated about cars and talked about em while dating. I had let her take my car for a rip soon after I got it, so she texted me to meet up tonight to take it for a drive. Long story short, her car is hopelessly gutless compared to a 335, but I ended up drinking wine, smoking weed and cigarettes with her on my roof with her, her friend who lives in the building, and some other dude that her friend had been trying to get with for awhile that we ran in to while going to grab a pack of smokes.
Nothing juicy to report really, it was actually a lot of fun. Prior to the other dude showing up (or rather, us deciding we needed smokes and chatting with him on the way to grab a pack), the three of us chatted for a couple hours about relationships in general, how girls and guys handle certain situations, that kind of thing. It was actually a really good conversation, I filled the two girls on what had gone on with Anne and while both had their own interpretation about what went on and why things didn"t work out, it was good to hear it from a female perspective anyway.
We ventured in to why things didn"t work out between myself and Xerxes, and I ended up pretty much completely agreeing with her friend who lives in the building. It was actually kind of funny, how well her friend observed what went on between us and how we were pretty much guaranteed to never make things work even though we"ve got extremely similar personalities in a lot of respects (but very different viewpoints, hobbies, interests etc).
Shit was therapeutic!
keeping with the original theme of the thread..I present you the girl that broke my heart...
We"ve been best friends since 3rd grade, dated all 3 years of middle school, 2 years of high school and then we decided to take a break. she went to college at UVA, we see each other every now and then, she graduates and moves out to San Fran. She flew out to visit me a few weeks ago and I can"t shake the feelings I have for this girl, didn"t have sex or anything...but I would chop off my left nut to be with her again.
She"s an Art Major, so she doesn"t really have a "real job" gets to go to Jamaica, Cambodia, Vegas and live almost a care free life, which doesn"t really work with my aspirations heh.
After hanging San Fran for the weekend, there"s no way I can call teach again. San Fran and I just "click" and with the teacher I was always trying to find things to talk about because all she would yap about is her kids and school, blah blah
sigh...maybe one day soon I"ll fly out there and confess my love for her...or send her "the box" haha
**does that stuff even work nowadays? or does it only happen in the movies? flying cross country to confess your love, laying it all on the line and if it is it is..if it isn"t it isn"t.
We"ve been best friends since 3rd grade, dated all 3 years of middle school, 2 years of high school and then we decided to take a break. she went to college at UVA, we see each other every now and then, she graduates and moves out to San Fran. She flew out to visit me a few weeks ago and I can"t shake the feelings I have for this girl, didn"t have sex or anything...but I would chop off my left nut to be with her again.
She"s an Art Major, so she doesn"t really have a "real job" gets to go to Jamaica, Cambodia, Vegas and live almost a care free life, which doesn"t really work with my aspirations heh.
After hanging San Fran for the weekend, there"s no way I can call teach again. San Fran and I just "click" and with the teacher I was always trying to find things to talk about because all she would yap about is her kids and school, blah blah
sigh...maybe one day soon I"ll fly out there and confess my love for her...or send her "the box" haha
**does that stuff even work nowadays? or does it only happen in the movies? flying cross country to confess your love, laying it all on the line and if it is it is..if it isn"t it isn"t.
I would say there"s a 99.7% chance you"d end up with $500 less in your bank account from the plane fare, & a much more jaded outlook on life.bofa said:
You are hopeless!bofa said:
Do not, in any circumstances, fly across the entire country to tell her you love her without being pretty goddamn sure she feels the same way. You are setting yourself up for an epic fail if you do that out of the blue. The odds of something fantastic happening after that trip are a lot lower than the possible bad outcomes. Start with, I dunno, talking to her and gauging her interest in you and, hell, even talking about a relationship. Communication is vital, especially if you are two or three timezones away! If you really do like her, then go for it, but an expensive romantic gesture on a whim probably isn"t going to garner the results you expect, especially if you aren"t 100% sure of the direction she is going in with your friendship/relationship/whatever...
Imagine showing up on some sunny Saturday morning, knocking on her door, flowers in hand, feet six inches off the ground in anticipation and then Scotty the surfer-dude answers her door...
PS she is pretty cute, don"t fuck it up!
Serious Advice:
$500 plane fare is small potatoes in the grand scheme of things. You fly out there, you know one way or another. You stay put you never find out and you dwell on it for who knows how long.
Be Bold!
But also be sensible. You should definately talk to her about a visit to San Fran before doing it.
$500 plane fare is small potatoes in the grand scheme of things. You fly out there, you know one way or another. You stay put you never find out and you dwell on it for who knows how long.
Be Bold!
But also be sensible. You should definately talk to her about a visit to San Fran before doing it.