Ok, some quick background on my mom (what i know).
My sister actually knows more of what happened to my mom than I know and she is 10 years younger than me. I am pretty naive to shit within my family. But being that way has also kept me pretty close with all of them. My family doesnt get a long too well, especially my mom.
Anyways, my mom was raped when she was 16. Maybe that is the start of her issues. I dont know, but she got pregnant in high school with me when she was 17 and has been married 3 times and divorced twice.
Over the last 10 years, she has seen several shrinks. She has been up and down. She used to take meds, then stopped. Then another shrink would come along and give her different meds. She would get better, then worse. Then better again. So on. Always up and down.
She hasnt seen a shrink in about 4 years. She stays holed up in her room, NEVER leaves the house.She has an EXCUSE for everythingand hasnt talked to me in almost a year because she owes me money and refuses to pay because she doesnt think she should pay me. Her and my dad dont sleep in the same room anymore and hardly see each other because she is so detached. All she does is play MMO"s all day.
I have a seen a strong woman, that I feel raised me pretty damned well, deteriorate into a lifeless zombie. Shrinks did nothing for her. And I never even knew anything was really wrong with her until recently.
Youre asking me to have faith in something I havent seen work. Its not an excuse. I dont want someone to give me meds. I dont think I am sick. I dont want to change based on meds. And I am afraid a shrink will want me to take them.
Honestly, I am kind of scared, because I really like who I am and what I am capable of. My loss of my family is what tears at me the most and is really the only thing I feel is wrong with me.
I dont know how to explain my opinion on shrinks any better. I know what my friend has said. It has, for the most part, helped him, but it doesnt change the fact he still cries or has minor outbursts because of the loss of his dad. But he didnt have to take meds. I am afraid they may tell me I need them. I do have a lot of emotionally outbursts, mostly temper related. I say shit evil and mean one minute and in the same breath, say I am sorry and show affection.
