Tenks said:
So I"ve got a date tomorrow with a girl who is 28 ... I"m 24 (and a half!) I"m not sure if the rules are different for girls who are older than me. The one chick I went out with on Thursday was 27 but she was way immature for her age and this girl seems pretty solid. Oh well I"m a pretty stable 24 year old so I"ll just be me like always. I"m just used to girls 21-23.
I just made sure to avoid topics like going out partying and stuff like that. I don"t do it that often anymore, but I wanted to avoid her possibly perceiving me as a guy who does all the time so I made sure to not mention that sort of thing. But yea no matter the age, with confidence all girls will buy into your frame, so older or younger is irrelevant. Well done on nabbing an older chick...I never could in the states, instead I had fucking high schoolers and shit interested in me, while I was eyeing the 27+ year olds.
Just now I finished a date w/ DG, and jesus titty fucking christ I think my dick is going to murder me in my sleep. I got denied on the over-the-shirt breast grab AGAIN. Now, by Korean standards, we are still moving ridiculously fast, but I"m still about to lose my mind. She came over again to my apartment on her lunch break, which she over time has now increased to like 5 hours. It"s pretty standard now, date every Sunday 11-3 or 4ish. I was out all night and actually almost missed her call b/c I was passed out, but caught it when she got here thank god. Anyway, she came over bringing me donuts and bagels and shit as always and we watched a movie, aka rolled around in bed making out the whole time. On like 4 occasions I tried to escalate and got denied, and the last time I pulled a pretty vicious freeze-out on her. It wasn"t intentional, I just got frustrated because it"s difficult to hold back so much, so I completely withdrew. Even though a freeze-out is preposterously effective, knowing from theory and the 1 time I tried it as an experiment, it"s crossing that line into blatant manipulation so I won"t ever do it intentionally. But it was involuntary today. And it never fails in getting a girl to reconsider the merits of resistance and also make her feel like she has to make it up to you. I hate that it"s so effective because it"s just there tempting me "do it, do it" but I only plays games and shit to clearly and simply convey a true image of myself in a beneficial light, never to downright manipulate.
Anyway, it"s getting a little ridiculous now to me, the slow progression. I am supportive and accepting, and even managed to communicate despite the language barrier that the slow pace was unusual to me (and as a result difficult), esp. bc I liked her so much, but that I want her to be comfortable w/ me before we progress to other things. But, maybe it"s just that I"ve actually never encountered so much resistance, the 2 weeks that passed since she was last at my place and alone (in addition to at least 4 after-work brief meetups and 1 more date) has not led to any progression at all. I got stopped at the same place 2 weeks ago as I did now, the only difference being she was just slightly less sure about resisting this time. There"s a delicate balance between maintaining a strong frame of "doing x,y,z is okay...its GOOD" and being understanding of her resistances. I need her to be comfortable with me and at the same time keep my frame that what I am trying to do is OK and good and that she can and should come around to thinking that too.
Turns out I really like her, in spite of the language barrier. I"ve gotten good at conveying ideas in simple terms and we understand each other pretty well without a whole lot of words. But, once again, given the lack of sex or even any sexual progression at all, I can"t be sure how much is real and how much is that lying asshole called a penis deceiving me so he can take a dip.
