arkk said:
Is she a lot taller than you?
What is up with this description?
No, she"s about 3 inches shorter, which is about perfect in my opinion. I don"t care if a girl is taller than me, but most times they do.
You can"t be that delusional, you just really can"t. Into anal? What kind of creepy pyscho shit is that? That is criteria for dating a woman? Are you bi or something? Anal is fucking disgusting.
That entire thing was quite obviously sarcasm, or at least parts were. I"m not delusional enough to think that I"ll ever find the perfect girl that fulfills my every desire and stipulation, but again I"m picky.
Never done anal, don"t really care if I ever do. Too much of a neat freak for it, most likely.
Anyway, you should take this whole thing with a grain of salt. I think by your huge posts about it that you are severely overthinking things.
Undoubtedly I"m overthinking things. That"s what I do. And I talk too much. Tell me something I don"t already know.
You are sending her emails about small talk and attempts to be witty and stuff, and you haven"t even hung out with her yet.
Well actually, we"ve damn near been on the equivalent of a date or two in terms of time spent over the wedding weekend.
In a week or two, you are going to be that guy who she ignores emails and texts from, because you are probably going to annoy the shit out of her.
I"m going to do my best not to do that, but you"re absolutely correct in pointing that out. I"m thinking I"ll look up the ski trip girl as a sort of back up plan and/or distraction.
This is just bad all over. I"d just try to fuck her and leave it at that. You are setting yourself up for a fucking monumental mini novel post of sorrow and regret. On top of all of this, you are insecure in a painfully obvious and even sometimes admitted way. If you think a girl doesn"t pick up on this you are wrong.
Actually I think I"ve done alright in terms of avoiding sobbing whiny posts. I mean yeah I"m good at novel posts, but it"s mostly recounting things that happened, and not dwelling upon how much I miss someone or whatever. Maybe they come across that way. As I"ve said in the past, I"ve never maintained any sort of diary or journal, and in some ways I"ve found this thread helpful if only to organize my thoughts a bit (but acknowledge that it can also be harmful in terms of overanalyzing things).
It is a bad idea, and it will bite you in the face. Abort abort abort
How so exactly? The worst that happens is she decides she"s not interested, and I move on to the next one. Maybe that happens after a couple dates, or a couple months. You"d rather I just go find some mediocre chick who grovels at my feet and isn"t a challenge and settle? Fuck that. Even though the whole Anne thing left me feeling not so hot in some respects, I don"t regret having had the relationship. I learned a lot from it, and in spite of feeling down about women/relationships, my summer was good times regardless.
One of the things I said to myself last fall was that I was going to stop being a chickenshit and start actually putting some effort in to meeting girls, which I never really had in the past. They"d pretty much have to fall in to my lap for me to do anything. I don"t know if it was some sort of phobia or mental block, but that"s the way I had been previously. Since I made that decision, bam I"ve dated half a dozen or so pretty decent girls, and as I said learned a lot about how I and they operate. I still have approach anxiety with ones I don"t know, but otherwise several of my good buds have commented on my sudden change in fortune after years of just sitting on the sidelines.
It would be fucking stupid to walk away from this without giving it a shot, even if it leads nowhere.
Unrelated, since you have a lot of money and everything, do you always pay for everything, or do you make the girl pay in some cases? Seems like a dilemma of the rich guy, because I think it is pretty essential for the girl to pay sometimes. It doesn"t have to come out to 50/50, but the girl should be paying for things also. Otherwise it sets a bad precedent. But on the other hand its weird if you"re dating someone who"s broke and you have a lot of money, to ask them to pay for things...
Depends on the girl. I"m fine with paying all the time, or letting the girl pick up the tab if she wants to. That date with the baker girl for example I paid for the dinner before hand and obviously the tickets, but she offered to pay for the $8 beers at the game (and that"s typically what I expect in return for tickets, whether a friend or a girl, is all I can drink crack beer).
Anne often insisted on paying for things and made comments that she felt bad about me paying for most things. I told her not to worry about it, but she did. Xerxes on the other hand never once offered to pay for a dinner the half dozen times we went out for one, and one time at this fancy wine store down the street when I asked her to pick out a bottle to go with the dinner we were making, she immediately grabbed a $60 bottle.
I think if anything the offer to pay, even if she doesn"t actually pick up the tab in the end, is an indication that you"re dealing with a good girl who"s not just looking for free shit. But it really wouldn"t much matter to me if I dated a girl for a month and she never paid for a thing, so long as she at least offered to.
It"s something I wonder about too. For example, my parents have a place in Mexico that I"ve never been to, mostly cause of lack of people to go with (friends have either been broke, travelling elsewhere, or want to stay in some shithole all-inclusive in the Dominican). I think this will be the 5th winter they"ve had it. The second I find a girl who seems to be a good one, I"m going to ask her if she"d like to head down for a week. If she says yes and is good to go and able to pay for her flight, awesome. But I wonder if it"s tacky or offputting, if she wasn"t able or just not willing to put the cash down for the flight, to pay for it myself.
But in response to what you specifically asked, no, I never "make" them pay for anything. I give them the chance to, and observe how they handle it, almost as a test of character I guess. But personally I kind of enjoy spoiling them.