Girls who broke your heart thread

Lenaldo said:

You don"t love this girl. You are excited that some girl is willing to let you put your penis inside of her(albeit not yet). This is your first relationsihp... 6 weeks is NOTHING. Hell, most guys go on 6 week benders with booty call girls before calling it off(generally when the sex gets stale).

Honestly... 6 weeks?! You are in lust with her... you want to pound her vagina real hard and that is skewing your feelings.

The best way to know if you love a girl is right after having sex with her(assuming you have been dating for a year+). This way you are thinking completely with only one head.

God damn, how did you get to college and still have these middle school / high school feelings for girls?! My guess is that she is in the same boat - never had a "good" relationship before and is more excited about the idea than you.

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That"s what the thinking part of me says, and why I am hesitant to say it. But a couple of things need to be clarified. We have had sex, and she has been in a few long relationships (one for 2 years, one for 8 months last year). I have no doubt that this being my first real relationship plays a huge part in how I feel, but I don"t think it"s just lust. Still, I"ll take the advice and trust you guys.

Well the big question remains, did she take your virginity?

It may very well be "love" on your part and hers for that matter even. But after 6 weeks it"s hard to say if anything like that will even last, the emphasis put upon saying a word to each other is just sad honestly. If you love someone you show it to them in your actions and what you do, it doesn"t have to be said or implied, it"s just there.

Dianetics08 said:

That"s what the thinking part of me says, and why I am hesitant to say it. But a couple of things need to be clarified. We have had sex, and she has been in a few long relationships (one for 2 years, one for 8 months last year). I have no doubt that this being my first real relationship plays a huge part in how I feel, but I don"t think it"s just lust. Still, I"ll take the advice and trust you guys.

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Again. Enjoy these feelings... theya er the same ones you will get with every new relationship. It"s like buying a new car, or getting a new computer... starting a new video game... Its the shinny-new feeling that makes everything seem amazing. This is your first relationship, so I can see why you are unsure about why you are feeling this way, but i guarantee when this relationship ends and you start another you will get similar feelings. They may never be this strong(the first relationship is always intense), but they will come back again.

lost said:

she had a 2 yr relationship and is saying i love you after 6 weeks? hmm

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What can I say, I"m pretty damn awesome.

The "I love you" has always been said drunk, so I don"t put much into them. But yeah, she did take my v-card. Trust me when I say I"m in no rush to say it as it scares the poop out of me, the idea of putting myself out there so far. I just really had no idea when people normally say it. As for the new relationship feeling, definitely some truth there, but it"s not like I"m in love with her because she agreed to go out with me. I have dated other girls, but I"ve always bailed after a couple dates because I"ve never felt shit towards them. But with this girl... I don"t know, probably not love yet but definitely something besides "ooo, pussy!".

Dianetics08 said:

Ok, so this is a bit of a different question/situation than most of the thread, but I think it still fits. Bit of a backstory first, I"ve been with my girlfriend for about 6 weeks now. We are both college sophomores and she is my first real girlfriend. We both really like and care for each other, to the point that I know I at least want to say the L word. I just don"t know if it"s too early or not.

3-4 weeks ago, she got really drunk (to the point where she was sick) and kept telling me she loved me. We talked about it the next day and agreed that it was too early for that and it was just the drunken "I love everybody" part of her saying it. A couple weeks later, we went to a party and this time I got way too drunk. As I was praying to the porcelain altar, she let an "I love you" slip. She was drunk, but a lot less than I was. I never brought that up and we have just ignored that it happened.

Is it too early in the relationship? My friends have been pretty useless in helping me, none of them have ever loved a girl, but I"m pretty sure I do. Any input?

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PM TheCutlery for details on how NOT to handle this.

arkk123 said:

PM TheCutlery for details on how NOT to handle this.

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No, I"m not that desperate, I have been trying to stay below her interest level. I"ve been reading this thread for a long time and am finally using the advice, and it"s been working pretty well so far. Big thanks to all the people who have contributed to this thread.

Dianetics08 said:

No, I"m not that desperate,I have been trying to stay below her interest level. I"ve been reading this thread for a long time and am finally using the advice, and it"s been working pretty well so far. Big thanks to all the people who have contributed to this thread.

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My Wakandan.

TheCutlery said:

PM arkk for details on how to shit up every single thread on the board lately.

Shut the fuck up. You"re like the Makata of every forum. At least he contains his retardation to WoW PvP threads for the most part.

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I"m sorry that I am in your head and you check my profile all the time, but I post in about 5-10 threads tops. 2 of them have my name on them. The other one is in the sports forum, where pretty much everything else I post on is in.

If you were so proud of being in a situation where you will be divorced oropenlyunhappy within the next 10 years, then my comments wouldn"t bother you. I can assure you that I am not bothered by anything that you say

Having been in a similar relationship a while back, with the drunken "I love you" s all coming from her, I"d say keep your mouth shut.

When you love someone, there"s no black and white. If you really do, be a man and tell her how you feel. Just wait for the right moment and say it. Don"t listen to these degenerate fuck ups.

She"s waiting for some kind of affirmation from you that you feel the same way after two months, but she doesn"t want to get burned (again?).

No regrets. If it makes things weird, fuck it. Wasn"t meant to be anyway.

This advice goes strictly against all the pseudo-player bullshit that goes on in this thread, but you"re what, a freshman in college? You"re entitled to one first-love sappy relationship before you become a hardened mmo-vet forum member. Granted, I"m projecting back to my first girlfriend like a decade ago and your relationship may be completely different but this "don"t tell her that you love her" shit is just cowardice.

Bottom line, all this advice is from people who don"t know you, or the situation. Go with your gut.

If you say it while drunk, you probably have thought it sober... Saying the next day that it was meant in a "I love everyone" sorta way sounds like she was just saving face. I think IF you were to say it, she would also say it in return.

However, as everyone else has said, 6 weeks it not even remotely enough time. I said it in 2 - 2 1/2 months with my first girlfriend in college (very similar description, her a few long relationships, my first one, lost my virginity to her, etc). By then I had known almost everything possible thing to know about her...and it was still quite early.

Just look at it for its objective pluses and minuses. If you say it, how catastrophic is it if she doesn"t return the statement vs how much will improve if she does. The issue in dropping the L bomb is it isn"t often that it actually improves anything, but has the potential to be so terrible in consequences. And if things are going really well, which is obvious they are, why do you need the L word to make anything better; it"s already great.

You can"t ALWAYS stay 1 step behind. In fact you really shouldn"t always do that. It"s just a good rule of thumb for guys who tend to move too fast, that"s all it is.

If you say it, you"re probably safe that she"ll return the statement, but what is it really gonna gain you vs. waiting another month or two

Rune said:

When you love someone, there"s no black and white. If you really do, be a man and tell her how you feel. Just wait for the right moment and say it. Don"t listen to these degenerate fuck ups.

She"s waiting for some kind of affirmation from you that you feel the same way after two months, but she doesn"t want to get burned (again?).

No regrets. If it makes things weird, fuck it. Wasn"t meant to be anyway.

This advice goes strictly against all the pseudo-player bullshit that goes on in this thread, but you"re what, a freshman in college? You"re entitled to one first-love sappy relationship before you become a hardened mmo-vet forum member. Granted, I"m projecting back to my first girlfriend like a decade ago and your relationship may be completely different but this "don"t tell her that you love her" shit is just cowardice.

Bottom line, all this advice is from people who don"t know you, or the situation. Go with your gut.

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I agree with this logic, my 16 year old sister takes it with every boyfriend she"s had and it"s never failed yet.

Sutekh said:

my 16 year old sister takes it

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I can confirm this.

When you love someone, there"s no black and white. If you really do, be a man and tell her how you feel.

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Noooooooo. You"re 6 weeks into the relationship, neither of you is out of the "Endorphin Zone" yet. Do not trust your emotions because they are a product of some seriously sinister brain chemistry. Give it at least 6-9 months before dropping the L word - enough time to be **really** sure this is how you feel about her, and more importantly giving her enough time to for you to be sure that"s what she really wants to hear.

Don"t let yourself be fooled and don"t fall into that emotional pit. Hold strong, keep the relationship going and eventually you will know whether you really love her or not. Just give it some time.