Girls who broke your heart thread

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Leadsalad

Leadsalad

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Tarrant220 said:
So because I"m seeing more then one girl at a time, looking for a person I feel comfortable enough to commit to (and who feels the same way with me)...this somehow means I"m not looking for a committed relationship?

Your logic is flawed sir.
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Turn it around. If you knew the 3 girls you were seeing were also seeing 2 other guys each, would you want a relationship with any of them?

At some point you need to make up your mind BEFORE you start getting your dick wet in them or they decide it"s a relationship. Because at that point, you done fucked up good.
 
Tarrant

Tarrant

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Um, I"m not fucking a single one of them, and two of them ARE seeing other people as well, seriously, whats the big deal?

If there is no commitment then I fully expect them to be seeing other people as well, because I am. I thought this was common practice? I had one girl Iw as seeing tell me one day "look I really enjoy our time together but I think I"m going to chill and see only this guy for now." No hard feelings, I said sure thing and good luck.

I"m failing to see a problem with this as long as everyone is on the same page.
 
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Ortega_foh

shitlord
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Campari said:
+1

I"m "dating" 3 or 4 people right now but I do genuinely want a serious relationship. I just don"t know which girl I want one with.
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This my friends is how people end up being called cheats, liars, and hurt other peoples feelings.... I have no idea how far down the line you are with these girls, but it"s always harmless at the start until two of the girls start to really like you and you don"t want to let either of them go/hurt them. I"m sure if I asked all you multi daters as I"ll call it, you would be totally down with a girl you"re seeing dating four other dudes, but when that event actually occurs I suspect you might feel differently about the situation lol.

EDIT
Oh man, got beat to it. Tarrant I definitely am not some relationship expert, but maybe stop treating relationships so casually and dating those who do the same and perhaps you will actually find a long term relationship instead of acquanticies. I would"nt be surprised if the girl you mentioned was fishing for a reaction from you btw...
 
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Campari_foh

shitlord
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Err, I"m kind of with Tarrant on this. I don"t see the problem with dating multiple people rather than fixating on one person when you aren"t in a committed relationship. And no, I wouldn"t/don"t have any problem with these girls going on dates/whatever with other guys.

Unless you"re actually in a relationship with someone it"s kind of creepy to be pissed off that they are seeing other people also.
 
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Ortega_foh

shitlord
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Well furthering the discussion will be pointless, because this thread is full of generalities and non specifics. When I ask a girl out I"m obviously attracted to her and after one good date I consider her my primary target until something bothers me and then I tell her it"s not going to work out or whatever. However, some of you will be fucking a chick for months and consider it "not a relationship" for whatever reason so, I guess to each his own

EDIT
I am curious how if you"re seeing multiple girls, and the girl you"re seeing is seeing multiple guys, and you actually get your heart set on her or vice versa. How does the line not get severly muddled somewhere down the road?
 
Tarrant

Tarrant

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Ortega said:
Well furthering the discussion will be pointless, because this thread is full of generalities and non specifics. When I ask a girl out I"m obviously attracted to her and after one good date I consider her my primary target until something bothers me and then I tell her it"s not going to work out or whatever. However, some of you will be fucking a chick for months and consider it "not a relationship" for whatever reason so, I guess to each his own
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You"re the one generalizing at this point. The women I"ve slept with I would bet is considerably lower then many in this thread, as soon as something like that is close to happening then yes I will switch gears at that point. Until then there"s nothing wrong with seeing what else is out there.
 
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Ortega_foh

shitlord
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It wasn"t a flame. I"m saying that I"m not going to attempt to debate with you and Camp at the same time since your definitions of "in a relationship" will vary dramatically as we"ve seen from prior posts in this thread. I will say that in my mind though if you reach the point of physical intimacy with any of the girls you"re "dating" they"re probably going to misconstrue that as a relationship.
 
Tarrant

Tarrant

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Ortega said:
I will say that in my mind though if you reach the point of physical intimacy with any of the girls you"re "dating" they"re probably going to misconstrue that as a relationship.
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which is why I said should that occur then I"ll switch gears at that time. Until that happens, I"m just going out with women who are cool, whos company I enjoy and seeing if any of them are compatible for the long term...you cant do that in one or two dates and the whole dating world is to fucked up to go at it one at a time.
 
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Aulirophile_foh

shitlord
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Ortega said:
EDIT
I am curious how if you"re seeing multiple girls, and the girl you"re seeing is seeing multiple guys, and you actually get your heart set on her or vice versa. How does the line not get severly muddled somewhere down the road?
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Step 1: Tell the girl you"re interested in primarily that the relationship means a lot to you, and does she want to be exclusive? We"ll assume she says yes.

Step 2: Tell the other people you"re dating, who are well aware this wasn"t exclusive because you"re both adults and spelled that out at some point, that you decided to be exclusive with someone.

Step 3: Date exclusively with no hard feelings. Wheee.

Caveat: Sex means different things to women then men, if you are both dating and screwing a chick, she"ll probably assume you"re exclusive. If you want NSA sex spell that out with her.

Seriously though, high school and maybe college was the last place I saw one date means exclusivity. Adults generally just don"t date like that. Adults have conversations about their relationships and define them to each other. There might still be hurt feelings (which is par for the course with dating, you"re going to hurt and get hurt sometimes), but there isn"t that anger of betrayal or any of that b.s. if you handle things maturely.
 
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chu_foh

shitlord
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Sorry women don"t think that way. Once you dip your dick in her, it means something to her and at that point you"re nothing but a player.
 
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Ortega_foh

shitlord
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Let"s be honest here, when you approach a girl whether cold approach or through an acquantice or whatever! You are attracted to said girl. I"m going to assume that most men here intend of fucking said girl when they ask them out at some point in the future as long as she

1. Doesn"t have a STD
2. Isn"t fucking so crazy that you can"t even be around her.
3. Is willing to put out!
4. Anything else I missed!

Ok so glad we have clarified that. Now you"re going to tell me that given the opportunity if two of the girls you"re apprarently seeing decide they want to fuck that you"re going to stop seeing one of them immediately? Not to mention I HIGHLY doubt you guys advertise the fact that you"re seeing other people. I"m sure right after that first date you"re like by the way this is a totally casual thing to me and I"m seeing three other girls... You know trying to find the right one and all! Yea right.....

My opinion. If you can"t tell from one or two dates and I mean like dinner and a movie dates, that this is a person you"re even remotely interested in, then you need to figure out what the hell you want. After two dates you should be able to commit to a person and actually feel them out for real. You"re never going to find anything real from seeing 4 different people every week, because it will never become anything more then a friendship/bullshit to you, and you"ll never want to stop the euphoria of having multiple girls on the line. That"s all from a personal experience with a good friend of mine who is MISERABLE and can"t find a real relationship...
 
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Zakas_foh

shitlord
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Sooo yeah I know I fucked up and what not losing my ex the way I did and now living with her, but its starting to get a little weird. She will hit up my friends and go hang out with them and they only say yes to not sound like dicks, and last night she told my roommate she would only go to the party said roommate threw for a bit but she was there almost all night.

I couldn"t even get properly drunk with her there =[
 
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Campari_foh

shitlord
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Ortega said:
My opinion. If you can"t tell from one or two dates and I mean like dinner and a movie dates, that this is a person you"re even remotely interested in, then you need to figure out what the hell you want. After two dates you should be able to commit to a person and actually feel them out for real. You"re never going to find anything real from seeing 4 different people every week, because it will never become anything more then a friendship/bullshit to you, and you"ll never want to stop the euphoria of having multiple girls on the line. That"s all from a personal experience with a good friend of mine who is MISERABLE and can"t find a real relationship...
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I"m interested in all of the girls I date, obviously. If I wasn"t I wouldn"t be asking them out multiple times. Unless you"re like a freshman in high school or something though, there is no way you could possibly tell after 1 or 2 dates who you want to be in a long term relationship with. For me at least it takes a long time to feel people out and see all of their quirks and whether or not I could be in an exclusive relationship with them. 1-2 dates is just lust, it"s nowhere near enough time to figure out those kinds of questions.
 
Leadsalad

Leadsalad

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Campari said:
I"m interested in all of the girls I date, obviously. If I wasn"t I wouldn"t be asking them out multiple times. Unless you"re like a freshman in high school or something though, there is no way you could possibly tell after 1 or 2 dates who you want to be in a long term relationship with. For me at least it takes a long time to feel people out and see all of their quirks and whether or not I could be in an exclusive relationship with them. 1-2 dates is just lust, it"s nowhere near enough time to figure out those kinds of questions.
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Which is why you have more than 1-2 dates before you make this decision. You"re already 50% there after the first 2 dates. Why are you still fishing around if you"re digging deeper with one person. You"re clearly not actually looking for a long term relationship if you can"t even commit to a single potential relationship.

You never tell these people that you"re seeing 2-3 other people at the same time and for the same reason.

Get all of your women together and see how they respond at that. I"ll bet you anything that they all stop talking to you immediately.
 
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Ortega_foh

shitlord
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Yea you aren"t proposing here man. It"s called deciding to focus your efforts on one person and it"s pretty normal after two dates. If something pops up then you tell that person whatever reason you want and cut it off. Then you date someone else. You"re never going to appreciate anyone if you have 5 replacements on the line. It sounds like you"re just an attention whore to me. The sad thing is the only girl that will get you to settle down is one that"s seeing five other guys and not telling you about it. Then you"ll end up back in this thread saying "HOW COULD SHE!!??"
 
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Dabamf_sl

shitlord
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You guys live in a closet or haven"t fucking dated as adults in the past decade. Or you live in like rural Ohio or something. That"s the shit I get here, my korean friend telling me this girl he just started dating a week ago professing her love for him. In many parts of the world and many places in the States, yea it"s unusual to be trying out multiple people. But in modern America it is normal to see multiple people,until and unless you have the exclusivity conversation.If you object to that, well, as I said you are probably living in rural Ohio or in the bible belt.

If you haven"t slept together, no one even has grounds to be even remotely mad to find out you"re seeing other people. That"s immature middle school shit. With Tarrant"s situation, you guys have absolutely no grounds to object. And personally I don"t think sleeping together is a statement of commitment either. I"ve had booty calls I got along with really well and the girl only knew I wasn"t interested in dating her when I didn"t ever ask her on a date. Is that me being a "player"? No, players are shitheads because they lie and deceive girls to get them into bed. And girls that aren"t psychos respect that even if they ultimately don"t get what they want. If the girl doesn"t wanna fuck anyone who she isn"t gonna be in a relationship with, I got a grand idea:don"t fuck the guy until you"re in a relationship with him.

Your moral imperative in dating is don"t lie or intentionally deceive someone. That"s it. It"s not your job to read their mind and protect them from hurt feelings from you. If you can"t handle being rejected from time to time in dating, marry your girlfriend when you"re 19.
 
Tarrant

Tarrant

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Leadsalad said:
Get all of your women together and see how they respond at that. I"ll bet you anything that they all stop talking to you immediately.
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Every woman I date knows I am seeing other women, knows as soon as something begins to have tones of getting serious that I"ll let them know. They all still talk to me, because they are playing the field the same as I am.

Again, as long as everyone is on the same page it"s honestly the best way to do things.
 
Tarrant

Tarrant

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Dabamf said:
You guys live in a closet or haven"t fucking dated as adults in the past decade. Or you live in like rural Ohio or something. That"s the shit I get here, my korean friend telling me this girl he just started dating a week ago professing her love for him. In many parts of the world and many places in the States, yea it"s unusual to be trying out multiple people. But in modern America it is normal to see multiple people,until and unless you have the exclusivity conversation.If you object to that, well, as I said you are probably living in rural Ohio or in the bible belt.

If you haven"t slept together, no one even has grounds to be even remotely mad to find out you"re seeing other people. That"s immature middle school shit. With Tarrant"s situation, you guys have absolutely no grounds to object. And personally I don"t think sleeping together is a statement of commitment either. I"ve had booty calls I got along with really well and the girl only knew I wasn"t interested in dating her when I didn"t ever ask her on a date. Is that me being a "player"? No, players are shitheads because they lie and deceive girls to get them into bed. And girls that aren"t psychos respect that even if they ultimately don"t get what they want. If the girl doesn"t wanna fuck anyone who she isn"t gonna be in a relationship with, I got a grand idea:don"t fuck the guy until you"re in a relationship with him.

Your moral imperative in dating is don"t lie or intentionally deceive someone. That"s it. It"s not your job to read their mind and protect them from hurt feelings from you. If you can"t handle being rejected from time to time in dating, marry your girlfriend when you"re 19.
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This. I don"t understand how people DON"T see other people, I don"t even really call it dating until its a committed thing, otherwise we"re hanging out or whatever. Yeah we"ll go out on a "date" but we aren"t "dating".

How is this a odd concept for so many, me...the guy who knew absolutely shit about the dating world and how it works even knew this shit.

I"m frankly astounded at the last page or so of posts.

It"s how shit works in the cities, women do the same shit, I don"t make the rules, I play by them, that"s about it.

also, I never support the shots at Cutlery over his marriage and views, but I lol"ed at that sentence.
 
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