Eomer.
Think about this. Pretend you dated a girl for a bit. You liked her personality a lot and you two seem to just fit well together. You are excited at first, but soon realize something is missing for the long-term. You just didn"t have that feeling of admiration you want to have about your partner. You really like her company, and she makes you feel good, but you don"t feelexcitedto see her. You don"t know why, you think you should, everything seems perfect on the surface, but something is missing. She notices a change, and you ask her to be patient while you try to figure it out. It causes her distress, but she is understanding and supportive. This makes you feel good to know she is understanding. But after a couple weeks you can"t figure out the problem. And you can tell she is getting fed up with waiting and the uncertainty, and she expresses it to you nicely. But something inexplicable tells you, with absolute certainty, that she isn"t going anywhere. She is unhappy, but you know you have all the time in the world to decide. You should feel good about that fact, but it gives you a sinking, almost disguisted feeling in the pit of your stomach. You can"t explain it, all along you wanted a girl who was supportive of you 100%, but you don"t want this. With no other solution available, you decide its time to break up.
It"s a hard decision, but there is no alternative you can think of. Something huge is missing and you don"t know why. Youtalk a lot at first, she is crushed, and you feel guilty. You still like to talk to her though because everything else, except that hidden uknown criteria, just feelsright. And you sometimes indulge yourself in the fantasy that one day you"ll talk to her and you"ll find that missing factor. You can"t quite give up completely, maybe its you and you can fix it? But, nothing changes. So you stop talking for a while. You miss talking to her, she makes you feel good. But she is trying to move on and you understand that. More and more time passes, months, and you have moved on but occasionally think about her and what could have been. It"s a fantasy, you know, and you try to not indulge in it, but sometimes you can"t help it. More time passes, and one day you are playing PS3 with your friend. It reminds you of a really fun game you played once, which reminds you of her. You decide you want to hear from her again even if just to ask for the name of a video game.
Just as you think about her, you indulge in that fantasy again. What if this time you get that feeling of excitement to talk to her, and itstays?What if things could work out this time? No, it"s just a fantasy, but you want to text her anyway. So you do, and you can"t help dropping that little carrot of a compliment, just to see what happens. You don"t know why you want to do it; you know only that you are hoping for something, something unknown. She responds with a joke that you think is funny, but for some inexplicable reason it kills some of that excitement. And you can"t help dropping another little carrot. And she responds again, and you feel the excitement leave your body in one disappointing rush. What just happened? You don"t know, you know only that you don"t really care about her responses anymore. But now you have managed your way into another conversation with your ex talking about hurt feelings and you think "Why did I do this again? How did a question about PS3 turn into this?" And you regret texting her in the first place. You think if anything I can say this cab is rare, but I thought "Now forget it" - "Yo homes to Bel Air". I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8, and I yelled to the cabbie "yo homes smell ya later", I looked at my kingdom, I was finally there, to sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Air
