Girls who broke your heart thread

brekk said:

Lives with parents and they wouldn"t accept an american boyfriend.

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How is that more likely than her being a serial killer?

Wakandan u crzy

She lives alone and her parents are 5 hours away.

brekk said:

So you"ve met them and been to their house?

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Haha no, but lying about that wouldn"t make sense at all. My intuition just says its insecurity. She says its packed to the gills with supplies for her store. There is the smallest chance she"s hiding some skeletons but something like a live-in boyfriend or any really shitty/immoral thing is pretty much an impossibility given what I know about her.

That sounds awesomely ominous, like you have photo"s of her trading government secrets with the KGB and she wouldn"t fucking dare cross you.

So if she isn"t secretly living with someone that pretty much narrows it down to being either ridiculously shallow or bat-shit insane.

brekk said:

Lives with parents and they wouldn"t accept an american boyfriend.

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Likely this, or she has like 15 roommates/kids and had strategically arranged to get them out of the apt on the 31st, or married, or subscribing to the "one bf to sleep with, one bf to marry" concept (which is pretty common in Korea as I understand... gotta seem pure to your marrying bf while having fun elsewhere. and you, being American, are definitely not the marrying bf, if there are more than one).

Have a question on an extremely common situation which I guess I simply haven"t had to deal with to this point. You"re friends with a girl, and that friendship seems to be getting increasingly warm. You have romantic feelings for said girl, but you can"t be sure whether or not she feels similarly about you. You might just play it slow and hope things fall into place naturally, but it"s quite possible that if you don"t really overtly put yourself out there and proposition the girl outright, nothing will ever materialize, regardless of feelings on her end. (Truthfully speaking I think it would probably get to the point where it was so blatant I liked her that her refusal to acknowledge would be a very obvious show of disinterest, but anyways...) So the only course of action seems to be to go out on that limb and straight-up proposition the girl. The question then: generally speaking, is the friendship salvageable if you get denied? I realize there"s no one-size-fits-all answer to this and it largely depends on the emotional maturities of the parties in question (me and the girl), but what have your experiences been?

I realize this is a Dating 101 question, but hey, I"m relatively young and the only two major relationships I"ve had fell into place differently than this is shaping to (or not, as the case may be).

Ancalagon said:

Have a question on an extremely common situation which I guess I simply haven"t had to deal with to this point. You"re friends with a girl, and that friendship seems to be getting increasingly warm. You have romantic feelings for said girl, but you can"t be sure whether or not she feels similarly about you. You might just play it slow and hope things fall into place naturally, but it"s quite possible that if you don"t really overtly put yourself out there and proposition the girl outright, nothing will ever materialize, regardless of feelings on her end. (Truthfully speaking I think it would probably get to the point where it was so blatant I liked her that her refusal to acknowledge would be a very obvious show of disinterest, but anyways...) So the only course of action seems to be to go out on that limb and straight-up proposition the girl. The question then: generally speaking, is the friendship salvageable if you get denied? I realize there"s no one-size-fits-all answer to this and it largely depends on the emotional maturities of the parties in question (me and the girl), but what have your experiences been?

I realize this is a Dating 101 question, but hey, I"m relatively young and the only two major relationships I"ve had fell into place differently than this is shaping to (or not, as the case may be).

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I"ve been in your situation (I"m sure most guys have, actually). Like you said, it depends on the specific people involved. Without knowing you two there is no answer anyone here can give about it being salvageable or not.

When (if...) you make a decision, you should go into it assuming that telling her will kill the friendship.

Personally I once told a longtime friend that I had feelings for her, and things were awkward for a while, but we moved past it and are still very good friends. We just don"t talk about that conversation.

TheCutlery said:

Wait a minute, wait a minute. People who get married 18-25 don"t know their fucking spouse and are doomed to failure, but after 6 months, you"ve got this bitch all figured out and know what she"s hiding from you?

Welcome to the "No guys, my girl is different" club. Enjoy your stay. Hypocrite.

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In his defense, he did say "given what I know about her". Though, he doesnt seem to be willing to accept that she is LYING.

Sorry, Dabamf, but she is LYING about something big....

Maybe she has the apartment from Coming to America.

TheCutlery said:

Wait a minute, wait a minute. People who get married 18-25 don"t know their fucking spouse and are doomed to failure, but after 6 months, you"ve got this bitch all figured out and know what she"s hiding from you?

Welcome to the "No guys, my girl is different" club. Enjoy your stay. Hypocrite.

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Nothing you said even remotely exemplifies my position on cases here nor anything that I have said. "I"m not surprised since she was 18 blah blah" = "doomed to failure." And "given when I know I don"t think..." = "I got this bitch all figured out."

Well I"m thankful for the feedback from non-insane people that I didn"t overreact about the issue. In retrospect I was kinda forcing the issue, but regardless to resist so strongly is weird.

I never said "my girl is different." I"m more than willing to accept the worst, in fact I overly expect it at all times. That"s actually a fault of mine. No one"s in delusion here. It would just be a huuuuuge fuckin surprise to me if she had a god damn live in boyfriend or something absurd. She is at work 60-70 hours a week, which I can confirm because I go at random times to say hi and she"s always there when she says. And she comes over after work almost any time I ask her.

Lol lets not go crazy and just assume the worst about everything. Honestly what"s more likely, hiding a guy or a fucking family in her apartment, elaborately lying to me while masterfully wearing a facade of someone almost too innocent for me to want to date and certainly too innocent to have some elaborate love triangle manipulation masterfully carried out, or her being a fuckin insecure girl who probably has something embarrassing or unwomanlike about her apartment. Jesus.

Really I"m givin it like 10% some huge wtf thing (i.e. child), 30% some moderate skeletons that I haven"t considered, and 60% just straight up insecurity. And 0% her god damn family is in the apartment rofl.

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I know this has nothing to do with the topic at all, but I please need that .gif in a smaller version with a slightly different colour (attachment) and without the "haters gonna hate" saying.

Can someone do me that favour and do that for me? I am sadly close to beeing retarded when it comes to picture-editing.

Size : max. 240x180, max. 120kByte, (jpg, jpeg, png, gif)

Thanks a lot if theres someone here who is able and willing to do that!

Dabamf, it doesn"t really matter what the cause is...it"s beyond absurd now. Give her an ultimatum about it already; the issue has crossed all lines of reason.

Ultimatum about the issue? Haha, that"s ridiculous. That would be almost as childish as her not allowing Dabamf to go to her house.

The best way to handle a situation like this, which is important to her, is to just accept it and move on to other more important matters like having a good time. I"m pretty sure Dabamf isn"t going to marry the chick so why does it really matter? If it bothers Dabamf that much and he can"t accept that fact about her then he need to move on and find another girl who will let him into her house. haha.

Sounds like both his and her insecurities are fighting with each other to see who"s the most insecure. Only time will tell who will win!

I hate to agree with the retard, but you are getting a little bit Eomeresque, Dabamf.

If it were someone else posting it you"d be all over them. I still contend my serial killer theory is the most likely answer, followed by parents, and then boyfriend/ex-boyfriend.

Utter refusal to address an issue by refusing to speak is something fairly serious and indicative of something pretty bad, or at least exceptionally embarrassing (for whatever reason). She lives with a man or its extraordinarily ghetto is my guess. Something seriously sketchy after 3 months isnt a good sign either. Bail before the tidal wave of drama arrives.

She doesn"t feel an obligation to resolve an issue that looks this bad is rather insensitive as well. The first thing ANYONE is going to think in the circumstances is that shes banging/lives with another dude. And if you aren"t you should be. Either way you need to confront the issue before more time passes. Three months in and she refused to talk about it and I would bail instantly. Too soon for shady drama.