Girls who broke your heart thread

DABAMF, WATCH OUT. SHE"S A SERIAL KILLER. I MEAN, THE BODIES, HER APARTMENT. THEY"RE EVERYWHERE. OH SHIT, SHE HAS A KNIFE. DABAMF RUN.

DABAMF FASTER, DONT LOOK BEHIND YOU, OH SHIT, RUN RUN RUN!
NOOOOOOO
NOOOoooo

/pregame stream of consciousness, brought to you by Pabst blue ribbon.
/agree her place must be extremely messy or in some other way embarassing and she needs to clean that shit up. my place is a total mess and I dont want "bitches" coming to it, but that"s my problem. I need to clean it the fuck up. 3 months into a relationship tho? shiieet. I clean this place up the MOMENT it becomes a relationship. your girl works alot tho... yet still. she"s slackin.

srsly slackin.

or

THE BODIES. OH SHIT DABAMF RUUUN!

Wurstsalat said:

I know this has nothing to do with the topic at all, but I please need that .gif in a smaller version with a slightly different colour (attachment) and without the "haters gonna hate" saying.

Can someone do me that favour and do that for me? I am sadly close to beeing retarded when it comes to picture-editing.

Size : max. 240x180, max. 120kByte, (jpg, jpeg, png, gif)

Thanks a lot if theres someone here who is able and willing to do that!

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like this?

Thats perfect, thanks alot !

Or her Bf/husband was supposed to visit his family for Halloween but something came up and he had to stay in town.

It simply can"t be cleanliness; a fucking 700lb lazy gorilla could have cleaned up the place by now. She"s either banging someone or has some seriously disturbing fetish/issue.

Confront her or run away.

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Iw_zUUE4BE0&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Iw_zUUE4BE0&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

Dabamf said:

Really I"m givin it like 10% some huge wtf thing (i.e. child), 30% some moderate skeletons that I haven"t considered, and 60% just straight up insecurity. And 0% her god damn family is in the apartment rofl.

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Mind you, it doesn"t have to be family though. In every apartment building where I"ve lived, there"s always that one nosy granny who keeps tabs on everyone, and operates the local grape vine about how the girl in 2B is such a slut, brought a man home on a Friday night. Europe, US or Asia... grannies are the same.

She might just be worried/ashamed/embarrased about dating a foreigner. Not that it"s in any way healthy to be ashamed of the person you"re in relationship with, but could explain something.

Heh, I feel like if I post any more details about the situation to justify my position I"m gonna be accused of being delusional, so I"m just gonna not bother arguing about it until I find out the real reason.

But anyway, thanks for the feedback. I really just wanted another perspective to see if I was making a big deal out of nothing or not.

Dabamf, if I recall correctly your girlfriend once defined love as "truth". Am I right in that recollection?

If so -- but even if not -- why not just say to her, "Look, honesty is the most important thing to me in a relationship. If it means so much to you then we can continue to avoid your apartment, but I need you to at least be honest with me as to why you"re loath to bring me there. Can you do that for me?"

I"m (a) not sure to what extent it"ll be possible for you to properly nuance this given the language barrier; and (b) the extent to which it will be effective at all. But there"s nevertheless a strong chance she"ll either cave and tell you what"s really going on (or adamantly stand by what she"s hitherto said), or, withering under the pressure of your no-doubt formidable glare, very revealingly lie to you. At any rate you"ll learn something.

tl;dr: Play the "truth and honesty card". Tell her for a relationship to work honesty must be paramount. That you"ve been honest with her in all things (haha), and that it"s only fair that she treat you with the same respect.

Well he said "From what I know of her makes it morally impossible to do so!". Can you get more blind than that? You don"t know her for shit after 3 months, and she doesn"t trust you or feel any obligation about clearing up the strange behavior. If you knew her well this issue would have been talked about instantly and resolved one way or the other.

What would she think the secret was if the situation was reversed? Dude is married or lives with a GF. As would anyone whose rational when their short term SO refused to allow them to come over for 3 months. Do you know if her and her family are poor? If not she lives with a backup penis.

Gryeyes said:

Well he said "From what I know of her makes it morally impossible to do so!". Can you get more blind than that?

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Dabamf said:

...masterfullywearing a facadeof someone almost too innocent for me to want to date and certainly too innocent to have some elaborate love triangle manipulation masterfully carried out

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hi

But she is not wearing a masterful facade, she is absolutely refusing to address an ongoing issue. An issue that on the surface looks pretty bad. Whatever she is hiding is also irrelevant to why you should bail. She does not trust you and is also fairly strange. Whether she has 10 cats,severed heads or backup dick she isn"t being honest.

Then again I will terminate a young relationship the instant dishonesty enters the equation.

Gryeyes said:

But she is not wearing a masterful facade, she is absolutely refusing to address an ongoing issue. An issue that on the surface looks pretty bad. Whatever she is hiding is also irrelevant to why you should bail. She does not trust you and is also fairly strange. Whether she has 10 cats,severed heads or backup dick she isn"t being honest.

Then again I will terminate a young relationship the instant dishonesty enters the equation.

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It"s not an ongoing issue. It came up in the past but my response, to her, has never been anything but confusion and ultimately indifference. I only ever brought it up here because I found it strange and wanted to know if it was a common thing for Korean women, as I know a couple posters have lived in korea and/or dated Korean women. It has only been an issue between me and her this one time when I decided secret time is over.

Really, the wild speculation in this thread is getting a little ridiculous. We had one fight, and quite a minor one I might add, about her apartment, one time, and 20 people come out "dude she"s got another boyfriend," "her parents are living with her," "she"s lying about something HUUUGE," "dude she"s getting dp"d by 2 black dudes." I"m not interested in speculation because most of the negative posters on here are still bitter at the slut they dated for 3 years who did all kinds of fucked up shit to them and now they"re extrapolating that to all women with some sort of "dude, you are delusional, *I* know how it is" attitude. Everyone did the same shit to Tarrant when he was workin on his ex. Yea, things didn"t work out, but that didn"t make the wild negative speculation any more legit. You guys take a little information and make all sorts of conclusions, then when the OP comes in saying he"s not going to assume the worst from such limited info you all come out "DUDE YOUR HEAD IS IN THE CLOUDS LOL."

So the chances of any given random, non-married, Korean chick living with her parents/family (or roommates) is "wild speculation"?

So really, what are the things that could make a Korean chick freak out about you stopping by?

1. She has some living arrangement that she doesn"t want you to see (family, roommates, kid, whatever).

2. There is someone there that she doesn"t want to see you (family, roommates, whatever).

3. Or maybe she"s just messy, self conscious about it, but somehow finds it impossible to clean up?

Which one of these would seem least likely if we were talking about some other random Korean chick?

I mean, really, she"s probably not married/living with another guy, but her living with someone for whatever reason doesn"t seem unlikely at all. And if that"s so, there"s a multitude of reasons why she might want to keep you seperate from that.

She lives together with another girl who is incredible hot - that would explain it.

So, I had been dealing with my break up pretty well up until about half an hour ago. Just found out that my ex has another boyfriend, a guy that she had hung out with while we were dating. I also know they had spent halloween together, which was like a week after we broke up. I don"t know if that is when they hooked up, but now it seems pretty obvious that she had been interested in him and that"s probably why she broke up with me. All the more reason to not be friends with her. I don"t care so much that she has a boyfriend (I mean, I obviously care some), but knowing that I was dumped for another guy... real self-esteem boost. A big part of me wants to tell her off, but I know that"s stupid and pointless. Only bright side to this is that I definitely don"t like her anymore and would never want to get back together with her.

Dabamf: In this situation you have every right to be angry, but in my experience getting mad and freezing her out until she gives in is an ineffective way to go about trying to deal with these types of problems. Ultimatums only cause hostility and bad feelings towards the other person. Don"t waste your time postulating over her reasons to not show you the apt. either, that"ll only get you madder. Your best bet here is to swallow your resentment and really try to have an open conversation about this with her. Let her know how her shiftiness in this matter makes you feel. Be calm and empathetic (remember, she just might have a perfectly good reason for not wanting to show you the apt. and if you really do like her then she should get the benefit of the doubt.) and see where that takes you. Use a lot of mirroring and open palms; avoid crossing your arms or taking on any type of hostile or defensive stance. Avoid phrases like "you should" and "I feel that..." etc. You want to come across as open and supportive, not demanding.

Honestly, I know it sounds like I"m telling you to be a big pussy about this, but from EXTENSIVE experience I can tell you that freeze-outs (while grossly satisfying) don"t contribute anything in the long term.