Girls who broke your heart thread

So I got a text from Nicole Sunday afternoon. We hadn"t texted at all, just messaged on Facebook, so that was unexpected.

Her: Hi *my name*!! Its nicole, my mom told me that u were out of town this wk/d, I just wanted to thank you for the invite to the game, but can"t come, as I have a get together that I had forgotten about with some of my girlfriends! Hope you are having a good weekend and don"t freeze!

(bitches love exclamation points)

Me: No worries, perhaps another time. I will throw you and your bro invites to my Christmas party in a couple weeks, bring some friends!

Her: Sounds great!! Thanks again for the invite!

Translation: I was creeped out by you asking me to go to the game out of the blue, and not even particularly concerned about coming up with a decent excuse!

Conclusion: probably doomed from the start due to the mom connection, but may have gotten at least a date out of it had I waited a couple days after dropping the bag off to call, instead of asking right off the bat. Whoever said that waiting a day or two would show weakness or hesitation or whatever, that was just bad advice given the situation.

Weekend was pretty good. Kind of worked towards establishing something with another tour guide girl, not really sure if it will go anywhere but it"s fun to flirt anyways. Couple cuties on my bus for once, but they were really young so I didn"t really pursue them at all. Unfortunately on the Saturday night at the main party I made the mistake of not focusing on a specific girl, rather I was running around having a good time and flirting with whatever was around. Kind of a mistake, in retrospect, as I was introduced to a girl I"d met over a year ago at a music festival and she was on the trip by herself as a friend cancelled. Pretty cool chick, and she ended up going back to the room with my bud instead. Fair play though, at one point he had even asked "hey, are you going for anyone in particular, don"t want to block you" and I replied not to worry about it that I wasn"t really trying to line anything in particular up that night. Good for him.

Heylel Teomim said:

Under most circumstances I"d probably agree, were it not for her striking up the conversation in the first place and some things she said prior to that. I"m actually thinking Zinke is on the money. I distinctly remember comments from her about being socially awkward etc. That, and the bartender where we were at knows us both and tends to look out for me.

I"ll probably call tonight, get a voicemail, and not think on it again. If so no biggie, there"s absolutely nothing at stake.

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My initial reaction was actually what The Ancient said, but the way you wrote the post, it sounded like she gave up the number easily other then that comment. If she really didn"t want to give you her number, as in.. really didn"t like you at all and you were being extremely persistent, she would have had more excuses and/or gave you a fake number. Well.. there"s some girls that are just too nice to hurt a guy"s feelings face to face, give a real number and then ignore if you actually call.. But, it doesn"t sound like you were being some overly pushy guy and gave her no out but to give you her number.
So, sticking with the low self esteem/testing you/recent breakup theory. In any of those cases, it all depends on how into her you actually are for it to be worth your time.

Zinke said:

My initial reaction was actually what The Ancient said, but the way you wrote the post, it sounded like she gave up the number easily other then that comment.

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You sure picked out a lot from those 3 sentences.

Zinke"s scenario scares me even more though. Couple that with the mention of "socially awkward" ahead of time makes me think this girl doesn"t date much and will develop full on crazy clingy bitch if you show serious interest. But maybe you dig her enough that you are cool with that who knows?

Well, if it"s been a few months, I don"t get the impression he"s some guy who just starts asking a girl for her number over and over before really talking to her. It"s mostly just those scenarios where a weak willed overly nice girl gives up her real number without wanting to. If she "kept saying" disparaging stuff about herself, it must have been a long enough conversation.

No matter what, even if she"s into you, she"s got some quirks. But, that isn"t always bad. For example, if she"s just shy and self-deprecating, she may be a more submissive type girl who just wants you to take control. That may or may not be your cup of tea. Most likely, it won"t go anywhere, but it never hurts to give it a shot. For nothing else, as warm up experience in dealing with women after a long break from dating. Get comfortable with the whole process of dating again.

Not everything boils down to D/s Zinke.

Ok....it does

mmmm hmmm.

Well, on some level it does. Not everything gets into BDSM territory, but one person tends to like to be more in control of situations then the other, not even talking sexually. More often then not, girls prefer (or are more comfortable with) slightly less control then the guy. Being able to recognize that characteristic in a girl, and being comfortable enough to make the first move/be the one controlling the situation, is one of the keys to meeting women. That"s why most girls aren"t attracted to "nice guys". They don"t like when assholes act like total assholes, but they put up with that because they are attracted to him when he takes control of situations and tells them what to do, in essence.
Nice guys are often too shy to make moves. Which is BORING and CONFUSING to them, that"s the key. It"s cliche, but 99% of guy"s problems meeting women can be boiled down to "Man up and grow some balls".

I also read that situation as a weird awkward girl talking herself down so you wouldn"t get disappointed when you discover she"s weird and awkward. On the phone/txt/during date, just point out a quirk she has and compliment her on it. Make her feel comfortable being herself around you. Only works obviously if that assessment is true. If it"s not, you end up complimenting her when her value is over yours (in her mind) and you lose.

I decided to call today (Tues) for something Wednesday. It depends on whether they have the book in stock tomorrow and if I can reserve it. Yay for awkward PHONE Korean language practice with the book store. Chance of understanding each other: 3%

I"m actually kinda pumped about bein single again. I was pretty content to let the mediocre relationship continue by inertia since I haven"t been especially social lately or eager to go meet new girls. The looming trip was the catalyst. But I was thinkin about what it takes to succeed in this country and that is simply initiative. And even if my game sucks, it will succeed by the numbers game alone if I can take the initiative. That"s a new challenge, because I am very passive in my style. But I"m hoping to expand my m.o.

Zinke said:

mmmm hmmm.

Well, on some level it does. Not everything gets into BDSM territory, but one person tends to like to be more in control of situations then the other, not even talking sexually. More often then not, girls prefer (or are more comfortable with) slightly less control then the guy. Being able to recognize that characteristic in a girl, and being comfortable enough to make the first move/be the one controlling the situation, is one of the keys to meeting women. That"s why most girls aren"t attracted to "nice guys". They don"t like when assholes act like total assholes, but they put up with that because they are attracted to him when he takes control of situations and tells them what to do, in essence.
Nice guys are often too shy to make moves. Which is BORING and CONFUSING to them, that"s the key. It"s cliche, but 99% of guy"s problems meeting women can be boiled down to "Man up and grow some balls".

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Right. Not everything is 24/7 TPE but as soon as you understand that everyone boils down to one of two categorizations (and I don"t buy into the "switch" theory at all) it makes reading people a walk in the park. And not just in romantic relationships. Half of getting somewhere in your professional life is learning how to effectively "top from the bottom" so to speak.

I didnt comment on the anal post you made but everything you put on this thread that I"ve read so far is pretty much the only advice I"ve seen worth following from anyone.

(And also why I get sick of the nice guy whining around here/"you have to be an ass to get girls" rant).

Thumbs up.

Etoille said:

and I don"t buy into the "switch" theory at all

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What, specifically, do you disagree with?

Etoille said:

I didnt comment on the anal post you made but everything you put on this thread that I"ve read so far is pretty much the only advice I"ve seen worth following from anyone.

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Heh, do you mean the one i"ve since deleted because I was so drunk I don"t even remember writing it? I didn"t realize I had posted it till I saw someone had given me a neg for the post, followed the link and was like "wtf? I actually posted all that?". Thought it was a dream or something.

Alcestis said:

What, specifically, do you disagree with?

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I don"t think someone can honestly be both. Its not a matter of preference where you can be attracted to men and women (attracted to people) - this type of stuff is hardwired into your brain and affects how you interact with everyone on a daily basis.

Sure you can "play" at a role for fun but people are fundamentally one or another in my opinion. Its like that 4 quadrant personality test thing - if you get scores over 70 in all four areas then you"re a schizophrenic. Youre either naturally dominant or naturally submissive. And it doesn"t mean that you have to be that way all the time - but it goes to who a person is at their core/how they"d prefer to be absent any pressure from society/work etc.

Voicemail as expected. Now that that"s over with I can return to my regularly scheduled monday night of Master & Commander on blu-ray, popcorn shrimp and falling asleep on the couch with the dog. Being single does have its perks!

Zinke said:

Heh, do you mean the one i"ve since deleted because I was so drunk I don"t even remember writing it? I didn"t realize I had posted it till I saw someone had given me a neg for the post, followed the link and was like "wtf? I actually posted all that?". Thought it was a dream or something.

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You shouldn"t have deleted it.

And the text messages begin!

Etoille said:

You shouldn"t have deleted it.

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It made no sense and wasn"t even what I really felt about the subjects. I could probably re-write it more accurately sober. It started off talking about the anal discussion and stumbled over into a rant about all the same rants you have a problem with (nice guy/asshole rants) in this thread.

The main thing I was trying to say about anal was in response to all the shit on dick/bad smell comments, and that to really emulate the porno anal most guy"s are actually looking for, the girl has to be somewhat prepared ahead of time. So, uhh.. big ups to you if you can convince her of an enema AND trying anal for the first time early on in a relationship. Although, when she realizes (you tell her) that for a couple days after, she won"t have stinky farts, won"t have to shit, and technically loses some weight, some girls get on board with it... jus" sayin..

But, if you do have a submissive girl, it"s more likely to happen as she will like it if YOU like it. The payoff for her is the attention you show her before/after it. Or, she enjoys the act of not enjoying it.. Depends on her personality and what she likes about sex.

Zinke said:

It made no sense and wasn"t even what I really felt about the subjects. I could probably re-write it more accurately sober. It started off talking about the anal discussion and stumbled over into a rant about all the same rants you have a problem with (nice guy/asshole rants) in this thread.

The main thing I was trying to say about anal was in response to all the shit on dick/bad smell comments, and that to really emulate the porno anal most guy"s are actually looking for, the girl has to be somewhat prepared ahead of time. So, uhh.. big ups to you if you can convince her of an enema AND trying anal for the first time early on in a relationship. Although, when she realizes (you tell her) that for a couple days after, she won"t have stinky farts, won"t have to shit, and technically loses some weight, some girls get on board with it... jus" sayin..

But, if you do have a submissive girl, it"s more likely to happen as she will like it if YOU like it. The payoff for her is the attention you show her before/after it. Or, she enjoys the act of not enjoying it.. Depends on her personality and what she likes about sex.

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Occasionally its ok to be imprecise.

Some chicks like being told what to do some chicks don"t. However I"d say the vast majority prefer the confidence that comes with telling them what is going on. This way it takes all the pressure off ofthembecause if anything goes wrong she can just say "Wasn"t my idea!" and clean all guilt. One of my friends is kind of a pussy with his girlfriend and she seems to love walking all over him and he loves getting walked all over. I think it comes down to a self confidence thing. Which, as I"ve been posting for years now, is all the Mystery Method attempts to build in the guy.

People may underestimate the confidence that comes with the ability to interact seamlessly with the opposite sex and following Mystery rules instantly makes you at least decent.