Girls who broke your heart thread

brekk said:

Give them the benefit of the doubt until proven otherwise. When proven otherwise DUMP THEM AND DON"T LOOK BACK.

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or Kill them and burn their body for no evidence.

Gone 3 days, here"s what I basically read

Grobbee: Only married people with kids can truly be happy
Tenks: People are different, if you need another person to be happy then your life is sad
Thecutlery: You think you"re happy as a single person but you"re not
Tenks: life experience cheap shot, semi-correct observation about flaunters
Thecutlery:RAGEWALL OF OVERREACTION PISSED
Brad: Awesome cheapshot at grob
Rune: More awesome cheap shot
Etoille: Boring, skipped
Brad: Complete discrediting of anything grobbee says

Thecutlery, you post with this arrogance that your way is the only correct way, and when people challenge you, you then make cheapshots at them and accuse them of thinking their way is the only correct way, when they"ve given no indication of thinking that whatsoever. Your arrogance is ridiculous. "You think you"re happy now, but you aren"t compared to how you would be if you were married with kids." Are you fuckin serious? There"s 1 path in life man, it"s the only way! Oh yea, and everyone should have 1 inch green lawns with a garden and walkway, a golden retriever and a minivan. OR YOU"RE NOT DOING IT RIGHT.

For the record I plan to get married and have kids one day, and though I"m quite happy now, I expect I"ll be even happier then. Still, you"re fucking dumb

TheCutlery said:

stuff

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You"re not helping your own cause here. While you may certainly enjoy having a wife and kids (and I commend you for that), that doesn"t mean everyone is going to want that or derive the same level of pleasure from it once they have it. You need to tone down the "I"m happier than you are" rhetoric a little bit - it"s insulting, and not fun to read.

TheCutlery said:

I am I arrogant? Fuck yeah I am. You"ll get zero argument from me. But the flip side is that I"m usually also right.

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Your posts are so fucking annoying to read. Am I right? Yes. Completely. 100%.

thecutlery requires having children to be 100% happy, but plenty of people do not share this requirement.

Some people, once they have children, realize to their horror that it was a mistake, and they have to make the best of it. there are also couples out there that have children because they"re bored. I have a problem with any parent that makes their life all about their children. "Get a life!" <- seriously.

thecutlery, your tone suggests, "I"m happy because I do things my way. [begin condescension]: someday you"ll realize I"m right and do things my way to become happy. I used to be like you years ago." all the while omitting the possibility that there are ways to happiness that differ from yours, some of which do not include children.

I personally do not want children, but I"d make the sacrifice and grow to love them if my future wife wanted them. Why? because a happy man with an unhappy woman soon becomes an unhappy man, and all that.

TheCutlery, sorry buddy but no one made any judgment about you being happy or not until you brought it out first. Tenks was just calling Grobbee out on being a dumbfuck as usual, you came in with your "my way is the only way" stupidity, and Tenks successfully baited you into some rageout with very little effort.

And he"s got a point in this case. Usually when someone talks about something good in their life, it"s really because they"re proud and/or happy about it and want to share that. But at some point it becomes excessive and when that happens, it usually is a sign of overcompensation. I didn"t agree with him about your case, but now I"m starting to believe you really are just overcompensating for not being particularly thrilled about your life. Either way, it"s just fucking old. No one gives a shit about your marriage. You could contribute positively here by providing a self-proclaimed success story of an alternative path men can take, but instead you just sound like an arrogant douchebag, and not just an arrogant douchebag, but a WRONG arrogant douchebag, which is 1000% worse.

Oh yea, and...

TheCutlery said:

This dude basically called me unhappy with my life, and doesn"t know fuck all about me, my relationship, or anyone else"s on this fucking board. That"s what I take issue with.Don"t fucking tell me that you pretend to know how happy I amor am not in my own fucking relationship.

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TheCutlery said:

No, really, it"s not.You think your life is perfect nowbecause you"re out chasing tail, sometimes winning, sometimes losing. But when you really have a connection with someone, a bond that goes beyond anything you"ve ever known, and start throwing little copies of yourself into the mix,that"s when you"re truly happy. A happy you didn"t know existed prior to it.

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So you"re arrogant, wrong, and a hypocrite.

TheCutlery said:

You can be happy single, but until you"re holding your kid in your arms, you have zero fucking idea what happiness is. Go check out the New Dad thread and tell me otherwise. Can you disagree with it now? Sure, you guys are 5-10 years younger than me. Of course you"re going to, it"s the nature of your age. I guarantee you that when you"re 30-35 with a couple little ones running around and the woman you want to spend your life with, you"ll look back on your single life with fondness, but wouldn"t go back to it for anything in the world.

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This is too true.

I have a had a taste of this and I dont want to be single anymore. It"s one of the reasons I have such a hard time with things now is because being single doesnt compare to what was said above.

Dabamf said:

So you"re arrogant, wrong, and a hypocrite.

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Sounds like traits you two have in common!

Don"t hate on cutlery. Kinda feel bad for the guy. Most of his posts come off as the "I"m saying this partially to convince myself" type. *shrug*

There are plenty of really happy people I know who are married/in long term relationships that dont feel the need to put others down constantly or talk about how awesome their relationship is. When you"re happy and comfortable with who you are and who the other person is it just becomes natural to just .....be. The amount of comparison of his relationships to others.....is crazy. It comes off as really insecure if you need to do that.

I"ve been with my fiance for what....4 years now? And how much do I talk about it here? More importantly how often do I throw any of that in anyones face or act like its a reason to think I"m better than someone else?

And how many opportunities do I take to talk about how awesome I am? You"d think the relationship would be up there....but its not because even my trolling has a line.

There"s just a serious "ick factor" with how he talks about his relationship that makes me think that there"s some false bravado to do some compensation for something. Whether thats unhappiness I dunno. But its not worth it to argue with the guy about it. Its his relationship. He"ll figure it out and in the interim no need to listen to him/let him get to you .

Hell I"ll agree with that statement

brekk said:

Isn"t flaunting that you don"t need to flaunt about your relationship because its so awesome, basically flaunting about your relationship.

sigh, i shoulda been a lawyer.

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Yes. Bringing it up ONE time to illustrate something with ZERO details and then agreeing with a statement that someone else made is flaunting it.

Don"t overplay your hand duder.

In effort to derail the hate now, I will tell a story of epic fail.

(Spoiler unimportant backstory)Spoiler Alert, click show to read:
Short summary of me and DG: my year contract is over, I"m moving into Seoul and will be 1hr+ by subway away from DG instead of 20 min bus ride. This is gonna eliminate any chance at 11:30pm meetings where basically she comes over, we fuck, and get very little sleep. Her work prevents getting off any earlier and so the only time we"ll hang out now is weekends.

So being realistic, and taking the job/location change to try to be more active again after I turned semi-hermit over the winter, I"m thinking about possibilities with other girls.I was on the subway last week, and notice this girl on the platform. I only see her from behind so do a quick glance and then forget about it. I got on and sat down and the girl sat next to me. There was something about her body language that tells me she sat next to me intentionally rather than by coincidence.

I didn"t see her face so didn"t even know if she was cute or not, but I am really interested in testing reads I make. So I come up with a brilliant plan. The hardest thing about speaking to a stranger is having a legitimate excuse to speak to them, so I gave her the easiest conversation starter possible. I bust out my cell phone Kor/Eng dictionary and start studying Korean vocab, with my phone resting conveniently in my lap and visible to anyone who wants to be nosy.

It worked like magic. 30 seconds later I hear her speak in Korean that I don"t understand, but enough to know she was addressing me. I turn to her and she"s SO hot. Just gorgeous and I it really threw me off my guard. I had only thought to the point of testing my idea whether she intentionally sat next to me, so when I turned and saw how hot she was and that oh shit I could make something happen with this girl, I was completely unprepared. And worse, I"m naturally somewhat embarrassed speaking Korean especially when the person is speaking above my level, and when I"m embarrassed my face turns beet fucking red. Thanks face you fucking betrayer.

I get sorta back on my game and slowly transition to English. The great thing about this country is that even with my horrible display of awkwardness and embarrassment at the beginning, there"s always time to recover. The girl"s English is god damn perfect, and I find out she"s in a later year of college studying international trade and is fluent in Japanese also. At one point I asked her "what do you do?" and she misunderstood that as what was she doing now (oh wait I said her English is perfect right? err, everything is relative) and said "oh I"m going home, but..." and I sort of cut her off to clarify what I meant, not noticing that she was starting to say "but I can write my..."

In the end, she got off at the stop I was supposed to get off on, allowing time and semi-privacy to heat up the convo a little bit and get a number. BUT, I was so distracted by the convo and trying to recover from the trainwreck start that I didn"t realize it and missed my fucking stop. So I missed the stop AND missed the opportunity to ask her number in a less public area without 20 Koreans surrounding us and staring, something that all along she was hinting at anyway.

Fail.

Just something that happened this morning that I wanted to get out. If youre one of my haters, dont click it and spare yourself.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:A lot of what i do in life is based off of gut feelings or dreams that i may have had. a few days ago, I had one of my ex. I dreamed that we met for breakfast. I dont really remember any of the conversation in the dream, but I do know she ordered pancakes and sausage.

I was Winstar Casino almost all weekend, so the fact I was awake for almost 37 hours made me kind of loopy, so I texted her this morning and asked her if she wanted to join me for breakfast. She didnt have time, but my reason was to see where she chose to eat and what she chose to eat. She was running late for work and declined, but we had a decent conversation.

I told her I was happy for her and that I wanted her and my son to be happy. I didnt bring up the marriage thing, even though she did. I told her i preferred not to talk about it.

Not sure why, but telling her directly that i was happy for her kind of made me feel better. I did cry a little after I talked to her. Maybe because it"s finally becoming so real to me? I dont know.

I do want her to be happy in life. I want my son to be happy in life. I want that more for them than I do for myself.

TheCutlery said:

Okay, so you"ve got your foot in the door, how did that end up working out for you? Do you deny that your relationships start off pretty well and then the girl just loses interest in you after a few months?

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Yes, I do deny it, because in reality that only happened with Anne. Chuck I just handled incredibly poorly in retrospect, but it was never going to go anywhere anyway due to each of our very different circumstances. Xerxes was in to me just fine, but when she realized that I likely wasn"t all that interested in getting married in 6 months and buying her a new BMW she split, and if anything it was pretty mutual. I never had any strong feelings for her. And those are really the only three relationships you guys know much about, not including a couple brief dates here and there. In most of my past relationships it"s been the opposite: the girls fall for me and I end it because I know I"m not in the same place and I don"t want to lead them along.

So yup, full denial mode.

I will freely admit I don"t know your entire dating history as well as you do, but that"s the perception I get. Have you ever had a long term relationship? Like, say, a year or 2?

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Nope, I"ve had a few 4-5 month ones, and typically I was the one that ended them due to lack of interest or realizing I wasn"t in the same "place" as the other person.

Whether that says something about my psychological make up or not, I"ll leave it to the armchair psychologists here.

If not, I"d say that speaks volumes about the man you are, not the man you pretend to be. You can keep up with some good appearances for a little while, but eventually you let your guard down around someone and the real you is going to rise to the surface. If you can"t be yourself from day 1, what good does getting your foot in the door do? It"s just time wasted on a girl who"s not interested in you.

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Again, I never pretend to be someone or something that I"m not, and if anything I"m pretty brutally honest about my faults up front when starting a relationship. Knowitall, constantly sarcastic, stubborn, that kind of thing. I"m as self aware as Skynet, thanks.

And I"ve always felt Seinfeld was dumb. The show might be popular, but I can"t see any connection between that and real life. At least not the life I live. Who"s winning? What the fuck? Relationships aren"t about winning. If you"re going in with that mentality, then there obviously needs to be a loser. And the loser either flipped over the gameboard and walked out on you, or you"re the loser and don"t know it yet. Completely wrong mindset to be using imo.

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Holy fuck, it was quite obviously meant as a humorous little aside to end the post. Of course I"d never take dating advice from Jerry"s character, although I"m honest enough with myself to know I have some of his tendencies. Especially in terms of extreme pickiness.

Rav said:

-Dr. Chuck

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/rimshot

Tenks said:

Hit it directly on the head. People that flaunt their relationships are ultimately not happy with themselves. People who are content with who they are do not need to go around talking about how great their significant other is because they"re genuinely happy people. I wanted so desperately to be married and attached with someone back when I was 19-20 and completely addicted to WoW and horribly depressed. Anymore, now that I"ve broken those self destructive behaviors and I"ve found to truly like myself as a person, I find relationships to be great and I am generally in one but I no longer feel the need to be in on.

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This is where I"m at. As I love reminding anyone within earshot, my life is pretty goddamn awesome and I don"t feel the need to have a significant other just for the sake of it. And if I"m dating someone and I don"t feel a huge draw for them, I will typically not continue the relationship just for the sake of it. There"s really only ever been two or three people I"ve felt the right kind of connection with, and unfortunately things didn"t work out with them, so I guess I"ll just have to keep looking.

If I never find it again, shit happens, I"ll be happy enough on my own. If I do and it doesn"t work out again, I guess I"ll just have to keep looking still. But I"m not going to make that search the primary focus of my life.