Vatoreus Malfost_sl
shitlord
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I figured it would have gone without saying, but yes. 100,000x this.brekk said:This part won"t be until after she spends a week or two fucking the abusive ex.
I figured it would have gone without saying, but yes. 100,000x this.brekk said:This part won"t be until after she spends a week or two fucking the abusive ex.
Well, I am usually all for trying to work it out, crazy or not... but if this story is true (as in happened exactly as you say): Fuck her. You are better off with another girl. She was clearly trying to cause trouble.Kenadul said:I spoilered a long ass story about how I screwed up my relationship with a great girl.
Was not the way to handle it, you gave her all the power, and basically told her she was right. Bad move.I told her I was sorry and that I screwed up and that I hate the pain I caused her. I told her that I was willing to do whatever to fix this
What do you think? I should prolly give her a call tonight to arrange something for the weekend.Somehow it was decided that her winning bid (I have no idea if there were actual bids) would include me taking her paddle boating at a park, along with a picnic lunch. I was not a party to any of this at all. From what I recall I was talking with some other friends and my bud and one of the other girls came up and were like "hey, this is Sarah. You"re taking her out next weekend" and informed me of the nature of the date. We exchanged numbers and parted ways since the gardens were closing for the night.
....
So my question on this is, do I do the paddle boat thing? Seems like a pretty grand romantic gesture for a first date. Dial it back to a quick drink or bite to eat? Or just go all in?
Do it.Eomer said:Hey fellas, I realize a lot of you just skim my lengthy posts (diary entries), but I"d appreciate an opinion or two on what I posted here:
Relevant quote so you can skip the novel:
What do you think? I should prolly give her a call tonight to arrange something for the weekend.
Just do it, who knows you might fall for the girl, bang a few times, break up and then tell us about the texts you exchange 6 months after when you aren"t sure if you still have feelings for her or not.Eomer said:What do you think? I should prolly give her a call tonight to arrange something for the weekend.
If you were going to go skydiving, and they told you that the chances that the chute wouldn"t open is "significantly lower than 50%" would you still jump? I mean the odds are with you that the chute will open and you"ll be fine, but there is always that chance.The Ancient said:It order to dispel some myth before it gets further entrenched, I"ll point out the following.
Divorce rates are at a low, lowest they"ve been since the 60s in fact.
Divorce rates for a 25+, educated couple, first marriage are significantly lower than 50%.
Not entirely true. Read the gay marriage threads. There"s a lot of reasons to be married. End of life care decisions, being immediate family has benefits, health insurance, etc.OhSeven said:Regardless of the chances of getting divorce, aside from wanting to, there is no reason to be married.
Maybe I wasn"t clear. I wasn"t asking if I should go out on a date with her. That"s a given, she"s attractive and seemed nice enough, so what the hell. I"m more asking if I should do the grand, romantic plan that was thought up by others, or just go grab a bite to eat or a drink or some mini-golf or something instead.K`Lag said:Just do it, who knows you might fall for the girl, bang a few times, break up and then tell us about the texts you exchange 6 months after when you aren"t sure if you still have feelings for her or not.
Okie, maybe a little harsh but you don"t REALLY need our opinion on it do you?
Well from my perspective, it doesn"t matter if you go for the paddle boat, it was a setup by your friends and not your idea, therefore no pressure for it to be grand or romantic, just deal with it like any normal first date (i.e. don"t spring out the candles and start singing "Kiss the girl").Eomer said:Maybe I wasn"t clear. I wasn"t asking if I should go out on a date with her. That"s a given, she"s attractive and seemed nice enough, so what the hell. I"m more asking if I should do the grand, romantic plan that was thought up by others, or just go grab a bite to eat or a drink or some mini-golf or something instead.
They want to be married because they want equality. Which is there every right to have. All people should be given equal opportunities (which does not mean equal results).TheCutlery said:Not entirely true. Read the gay marriage threads. There"s a lot of reasons to be married. End of life care decisions, being immediate family has benefits, health insurance, etc.
If there weren"t tangible reasons to be married, we wouldn"t have a segment of the population trying to make sure they could be. Are you free to decide if it"s worth it? Sure, fine, whatever. But if you"re living with a girl you"ve been with for 15 years, are you "married" as far as society is concerned even if you don"t have a piece of paper saying so? Does it really matter? Is it going to change your outlook on your relationship knowing you"re not tied down to this bitch and can leave her at any time?
What"s your health insurance worth? You can"t put your girlfriend on it. What happens when your girlfriend is pregnant with your kid? What happens when your girlfriend breaks up with you and takes the kid? The same shit that happens when you"re married? Oh, got it.OhSeven said:They want to be married because they want equality. Which is there every right to have. All people should be given equal opportunities (which does not mean equal results).
But you said it yourself, what does a piece of paper change? Nothing, except she"s now entitled to half your shit. In the era of no fault divorce, this is not a good idea even if the divorce rate was 10%, the risk vs reward factor is just not there. As a man, you receive almost no reward and you take almost all the risk. How often does a man collect alimony? Child support? Hell a man only gets sole custody of his kids 8.8% of the time, and joint custody only an additional 8% of the time.
Now ask yourself, is it really worth all that risk for a piece of paper that changes nothing in the way you feel about each other?
I want the equal right to marry my pet dog, wtf is up with the government denying my equal rights?OhSeven said:They want to be married because they want equality. Which is there every right to have. All people should be given equal opportunities (which does not mean equal results).
But you said it yourself, what does a piece of paper change? Nothing, except she"s now entitled to half your shit. In the era of no fault divorce, this is not a good idea even if the divorce rate was 10%, the risk vs reward factor is just not there. As a man, you receive almost no reward and you take almost all the risk. How often does a man collect alimony? Child support? Hell a man only gets sole custody of his kids 8.8% of the time, and joint custody only an additional 8% of the time.
Now ask yourself, is it really worth all that risk for a piece of paper that changes nothing in the way you feel about each other?
This.Inconsiderable said:She was clearly trying to cause trouble.
My opinion, if you plan on keeping her, prepare to get used to the taste of another guys dick when you kiss her.Vim said:This.
I"ve come real close to doing this with my girlfriend, but never really had the balls to. (Thankfully). The few times I came close to, I was simply looking for a reason to back up my mental "fuckness" situation, there was none, only my pussy-assness trying to get some air.
As far as the marriage thing goes. Somebody mentioned how marriage has changed and how people should wait till their lives are more stabilized. I couldn"t agree more. If all my educational goals and maybe career goals come to fruition in the adequate time frame, I expect to be married at around 28-30.
I don"t wanna give the wrong impression though. I also think the marriage thing is not really needed to spend the "rest of your developed life" with someone you love and care about, but like people have mentioned it does have its plus sides.
As a side note, the girl I"ve been dating about 4 months is acting funny. She told me I shouldn"t go to her house last night because she was gonna go to sleep early, she had to wake up early today. Yet she was online all night on messenger and facebook, I noticed today. Now she hasn"t contacted me since 2 PM today, after she asked me if I was out (of work), after I told her I get out at 6 PM.
Now, I am aware that shes going to her girlfriends (girlfriend told me) house and she STILL hasn"t talked to me. Not via, phone, text, messenger or facebook. (I see her online!)
Me being a paranoid pussy or she acting weird?