Girls who broke your heart thread

Me being a paranoid pussy or she acting weird?

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Does it matter? You do not trust her. Whether you are being weird or she is shady (sounds pretty shady) you don"t trust her. Being in a committed relationship with someone you do not trust is not "working".

TheCutlery said:

Not entirely true. Read the gay marriage threads. There"s a lot of reasons to be married. End of life care decisions, being immediate family has benefits, health insurance, etc.

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The vast majority of marriage benefits can be duplicated with a non-marriage contract if that"s really a concern.

The only one that can"t be in the health insurance one, and only because that"s not(always) a law, just private business practices. In which case you can find insurance companies who do allow significant others on "family" policies, who already cater to the gay community with the same needs.

There really is no benefit and all risks. The issue is legal marriage is a "take it or leave it" bulk package. If you want to make your own contract you can cherry pick suitable provisions instead.

Otherwise as one poster pointed out, in the majority of cases no fault divorce is economically biased against men(because they earn more), and family court is *very* biased against men.


Give it another 10yrs when most of this board is statistically in their 40s and I doubt we"ll see very many marriage supporters ;0 As men"s support of marriage declines significantly with age.

Vim said:

Hahaha, not the kind of response I expected, but at least you were sincere.

If that is the case, I hope not, obviously. (but too soon to tell). I hope she likes the taste of pussy on mine.

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Four months of dating? I bet it is taking her too long, thats why she is flirting with someone else and shuts you out. If you really like her, I"d call her out and ask whats wrong before she whores around.

Give people leeway for a day or 2 of acting strange. There"s a million possible reasons. Maybe she just spent too much time with you and needs a few days break. If it"s something minor but you pester her about it, it could turn into something major. Give her space, and if it lasts a week, then call her out on it.

So regardless of what I read from most people here, I"m going to go through with it. I think I"m actually going to be doing it on Wednesday, I"ll make sure to post what happens even though I already really know the answer.

You can hate on me all you want. Truth be told I think that most guys, myself included, could very easily go through life without ever getting married. Let"s face it, men don"t get married for themselves. The women need the commitment, and this is how we show it. How the fuck Gene Simmons got Shannon to agree to not getting married and sticking around this long is something crazy to me.

He"s Gene Simmons...duh

TheCutlery said:

If love was a strictly logical decision, you guys would have a point.

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If love was contingent on marriage you might have a point. Gene Simmons was also fucking randoms the entire time. Privilege of being an ultra wealthy douche bag I guess.

So, I was talking to this girl I met on IM, and I said tits pls. I think I left the house after that, but she responded "What kind of girl do you think I am?". Maybe it"s because I wasn"t there to answer, but she sent me a pic an hour later. I"m a little wary of her, because she is always telling me how she "drank way too much" far too often. I still need to mull this over, but enjoy the tits regardless of my indecision.

Kenadul said:

I spoilered a long ass story about how I screwed up my relationship with a great girl.

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Been trying to respond to this since Tuesday but kept getting buried at work.

Let"s start with you... why in the name of Khorne were you storing photographs of naked chicks in your phone? Was it for bragging rights with your buddies? Spank material? Something you could one day hold over a girl in case she didn"t appreciate you enough? It really should go without saying, but DO NOT fucking store pictures of naked chicks on your phone, even if they"re of your wife or SO. You are just begging for the wrong kind of trouble. If you have to keep a digital record of your past escapades, store them in a place where they can"t be easily accessed... think safe deposit box and you"re on the right path.

Now for her. Unless you two had an "open-phone" policy with one another, she obviously never should have been snooping through your phone. While I don"t agree with a previous poster that she was "crazy" for going through your phone, she certainly crossed the line going through your private stash of amateur shots (which, if I am not mistaken, Man Law dictates you now post for our review and comments).

I do agree with whoever said she"s banging her ex. She may have been on the fence before she went through your phone, but it"s almost guaranteed she"s done so since. I, personally, never would have been okay with her "getting back in touch" with her ex (and the late-night chat should have been setting off alarm klaxons). What the hell are they going to talk about? The lovely covered bridges in Las Vegas? Your spider sense should tingle if an ex suddenly materializes, especially if it happens around a negative event.

Finally, you pretty much invalidated your moral high ground by snooping through her phone. I probably don"t need to elaborate here, so I"ll leave it at that.

Conclusion: This relationship is doomed, and if you haven"t already told her to piss off, delete her number and never speak to her again. I have no idea how old the two of you are. If you included your ages in your post, I must have skimmed over it and it didn"t stick. You two sound, however, somewhat young (by young I mean early to mid-twenties) and more than a little immature. You guys destroyed each other"s trust, she"s probably gotten back together with her ex, and she seems to have inherited some of that "abusiveness" she complained of in her ex (re: the cussing and yelling).

The good news is you"re going to learn from this experience and benefit from it.

Oh, and as far as her complaint that you don"t show affection, I"m not buying it. Unless you went from rapid-fire PDAs when you first met to a cold-hearted bastard, I don"t see you having ever been overly affectionate with her. I could be way off, but I suspect she was fishing for reasons to be upset with you to justify her communicating with her ex. So if she was interested in getting back together with you, she"d probably demand that you be this affectionate little lap dog, which is both insulting to you and destined to breed resentment from the word go.

I"m personally interested in hearing what you ended up doing, so don"t leave us hanging.

At Dro, bravo, good sir.

Seethe

Yeah the biggest thing that I screwed up is having those pictures in the first place. I never thought of them or looked at them either, so having them there was just asking for something like that to happen. The biggest issue I had with her is the fact she didn"t trust me and felt the need to go through my phone. Like you said the second biggest thing I screwed up was going through her phone just as she did me, I should have never done that, but oh well.

As far as her ex, he lives 6 hrs away or something like that, so they aren"t already screwing due to that, but I"m sure that will change as soon as they get a chance. When he got back in contact with her she told me he was saying that he wanted to get back with her and she told him no. I told her that there is no use talking to him especially after hearing how much she could not stand him after all he did to her and I left it at that. It is interesting that you mentioned her yelling and aggressiveness which I also contributed to that past relationship as well. She is in her early 20"s me my mid 20"s.

As far as what I plan on doing, I am moving on. I told her how I felt and she said she couldn"t take the chance of being hurt again as she thinks I cheated on her due to the pictures and all of her friends and family telling her that stuff in her ear. She immediately ran and told everyone about the pictures before cooling off and dealing with it between the two of us and that caused the most trouble through all of this. Had I not gone through her phone causing that extra drama to play out I would have probably tried to take it slow and fix it but at this point we aren"t on speaking terms at all and I am moving on.

When I said I could have been a little better boyfriend I am talking about things like talking to a lot of hot chicks when we are at parties together and not spending much time with her. Although I was just being friendly and always going back to her that"s not the kind of thing you should be doing at parties/bars with your girlfriend. I feel like you really should try to avoid those singles atmospheres in a relationship altogether with alcohol involved because you are just asking for trouble, especially when you are dealing with very young people.

Dro said:

So, I was talking to this girl I met on IM, and I said tits pls. I think I left the house after that, but she responded "What kind of girl do you think I am?". Maybe it"s because I wasn"t there to answer, but she sent me a pic an hour later. I"m a little wary of her, because she is always telling me how she "drank way too much" far too often. I still need to mull this over, but enjoy the tits regardless of my indecision.

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Dro has shown us one of the most important things we can do when dealing with emotionally charged women (all women?). That is to simply not say a damn thing.

Seriously. When a woman speaks it is like passing an iceberg in the night. What we hear is just the tip of it. Referencing the above example: "What kind of girl do you think I am?" That"s a landmine if I ever heard one. Lucky for Dro (and the rest of us) he was absent at the time and didn"t discover just how volatile those words really were. Now they will sit in some far off rice paddy for 20 years until some unlucky cow finds it and gets all four of its stomachs blown into a tree. (moo-boom!)

You see, women are naturally defensive. It is their biological burden in life to raise their screaming and kicking offspring to adulthood so that the species may flourish. This forces them to be resourceful, zealous, and brutal when they feel their situation is in jeopardy. All you need to do to find out just how vicious a woman can be... make her feel insecure.

Coupled with this desire to breath fire when backed into a corner, women also have a desire to attract the most suitable mate to insure a more stable environ for themselves or their young. This means one thing for us... lots of questions.

So now you may see the storm on the horizon. A multitude of emotional, insecure, and frequently brutal individuals with long nails seek our intimate counsel and are poised to attack at any sign of weakness, fear, or apathy.

So what to do? Well just as with any other wild creature, stay very still and very quiet. By doing so the woman is left with her own musings and forced to make up her mind without our interference. I mean I sure as shit don"t know how a woman"s mind works... why the fuck am I going to start pulling levers and pushing buttons by offering any kind of input.

I may say "I don"t know", but as those words drift past her weakened self esteem, waft past her uncontrolled aggression issues, and slip by her self image dilemma she will hear them as "I don"t fucking know you stupid fat bitch!"

So don"t bother... let her inner turmoil work it"s magic and make her feel like she has to do something to compensate for the fact that she thinks that you think she might be a dumpy-psycho-twat. And before you know it... ouila! Tits!

Dabamf said:

Give people leeway for a day or 2 of acting strange. There"s a million possible reasons. Maybe she just spent too much time with you and needs a few days break. If it"s something minor but you pester her about it, it could turn into something major. Give her space, and if it lasts a week, then call her out on it.

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Hooooly shit, spot on.

So after a night of hanging out, my girl bursts out into tears. In the middle of a farewell party for one of her friends.

Firstly, she confesses the night she went out with her girlfriend, she left the bar with her ex-boyfriend (last I hear that motherfucker was going into priesthood and that he treated her like shit, supposedly they never had sex, just high school early college love bullcrap) Oh and she told me they didn"t do anything. I don"t care.

Strangely enough, I am not mad, just... LOL disappointed.

Anyways, whilst outside, shes crying and saying I love you, I love being with you, etc, etc, etc. "This has all been way too fast, etc", "I need space, etc"

I tell her, how the fuck am I supposed to know that you want space when every time the opportunity to go to your house and stay over arises, you never say no!? I will admit this has been a little fast, but since shes always "go with the flow" with me then I never know.

She says, she loves my company and loves when I stay over, etc. But sometimes she just needs time or space, whichever. I don"t mind giving her space, but she"s never really vocalized this crap.

"I"m confused"

Fuck me.

P.S. I asked her if she wanted space to see other people or just space for herself and she said she just want space for herself. Oddly enough, I believe her.

The absolute best thing you can do when a girl says "I need space" is completely write them off. Don"t call to ask how she"s been. Don"t text, not even smileys; bitches love smileys.

Worst case scenario, she has feelings for her ex.

Best case, she likes you and wants to slow things down, and thinks "space" will accomplish this goal.

From my dating experience, I"m betting on the first.

The more attention you give a girl, the less she wants you. The girls who I"ve dated who were absolutely obsessed with me, are the ones I gave very little attention. I know it doesn"t apply later, but it"s absolutely true when it comes to women in general, until they love you, or consider you a part of their life.

This lil story isn"t related, but I thought it was funny, because a friend of mine didn"t believe me. He isn"t a very good looking guy, but when he meets a girl, he becomes super vagina. He will give them the shirt off his back, buy them everything, and be there to talk to them. I told him the same thing I said above, and he rolled his eyes. Just then the hottest girl in the club comes up and sits on my lap - he knows we"ve been seeing each other, so this isn"t a surprise to him - I spoke loudly enough for him to hear. "Did you ever notice how I don"t follow you around the club, or call you all the time to see where you are?" she replies "That"s the reason I liked you, instead of these other guys constantly hitting on me". His face was pretty funny.

It"s not a scam or running a game, unless you want it to be. It"s just a universal truth (disclaimer: in the early steps of the relationship / dating)

Good luck with it! I"ve been where you are, and I totally fucked it up by constantly asking her why and how she felt, and what she wanted etc etc.

Vim said:

P.S. I asked her if she wanted space to see other people or just space for herself and she said she just want space for herself.Oddly enough, I believe her.

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This is where you are wrong. This is where you SHOULD learn from the mistake you are going to make but instead realize that she is just saying whatever she thinks will string you along. The sooner you realize this, the sooner you can have a meaningful relationship with another human being.

Dro said:

Just then the hottest girl in the club comes up and sits on my lap - he knows we"ve been seeing each other, so this isn"t a surprise to him - I spoke loudly enough for him to hear. "Did you ever notice how I don"t follow you around the club, or call you all the time to see where you are?" she replies "That"s the reason I liked you, instead of these other guys constantly hitting on me". His face was pretty funny.

.

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Wooowwowow, you"re a giant fucking douchebag.

Kenadul said:

When I said I could have been a little better boyfriend I am talking about things like talking to a lot of hot chicks when we are at parties together and not spending much time with her. Although I was just being friendly and always going back to her that"s not the kind of thing you should be doing at parties/bars with your girlfriend. I feel like you really should try to avoid those singles atmospheres in a relationship altogether with alcohol involved because you are just asking for trouble, especially when you are dealing with very young people.

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Na. Actually this isnt that bad. Makes her jealous and shows that you have options. My girl knows she can get most guys, but thinks the others just want to fuck her and I am not like them. In order to balance the situation, I tend to flirt with other girls every now and then... and randomly mention that I spend time with a female friend, just because I know she gets jealous. Reminds her that we picked each other, not that she picked me and I am oh-so-lucky.

Funny story.. we were on the phone, and I told her jokingly that I couldnt call earlier because I had to talk with Monica (I picked the name randomly), she knew it was a joke because I just arrived at my place. We kept talking and after a minute she is like "Who is Monica!?"
Even though it was a joke and she knew it, her jealousy made her ask. I was laughing like a madman.

Pancreas said:

So what to do? Well just as with any other wild creature, stay very still and very quiet. By doing so the woman is left with her own musings and forced to make up her mind without our interference. I mean I sure as shit don"t know how a woman"s mind works... why the fuck am I going to start pulling levers and pushing buttons by offering any kind of input.

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Safe way of handling the situation. Personally I think it isnt that difficult to manipulate a girls mind once you know her. I like pulling levers!

Fuck.

Going to work with all this shit in my mind is going to suck so much ass.

For what its worth I erased her number infront of her and told her that, if she wanted to talk to me, hang out with me, etc, etc, etc. To call me, cause I won"t be calling her.

Thanks guys, all responses and opinions appreciated. We"ll see what happens.

It"s hard to do, but you"ll be ok.

She may or may not come back to you crying / apologizing. It sucks, but usually when a girl needs space, she has lost interest. She may regain it when you prove that you aren"t a doormat.


@Sutekh - you"re just mad because I called you out on having a vagina.