Girls who broke your heart thread

TheCutlery said:

Sorry guys, it"s a fact. The reason there are no women who meet that criteria in their 30"s is because they all got snapped up by the big fish in their 20"s. You get the leftovers, and some of the options are less than perfect. Might wanna make your peace with that now.

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Maybe it"s cause you"re in the US or something, which certainly has much higher rates of teen pregnancy (which I"m sure extends through adulthood), but I really disagree with you. I"m 29, and of the wide circle of friends I stay in touch with since highschool virtually none of us are married or have kids, male or female. 30"s are the new 20"s and all that. It"s the same amongst most "new" people I meet as well.

Maybe us Canucks are just more responsible when it comes to birth control, I don"t know.

Eomer said:

Maybe it"s cause you"re in the US or something, which certainly has much higher rates of teen pregnancy (which I"m sure extends through adulthood), but I really disagree with you. I"m 29, and of the wide circle of friends I stay in touch with since highschool virtually none of us are married or have kids, male or female. 30"s are the new 20"s and all that. It"s the same amongst most "new" people I meet as well.

Maybe us Canucks are just more responsible when it comes to birth control, I don"t know.

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He got married on his 13th birthday so I assume it"s the norm for his group of friends to get married once they"re too big for the ball pit at Chuck-E-Cheese. Many of my friends are unmarried as well and are over 25. Though to be fair he makes a point. Getting older does nothing but limit the number of women available since any of the halfway sane ones already found another halfway sane guy to marry.

Tenks said:

He got married on his 13th birthday so I assume it"s the norm for his group of friends to get married once they"re too big for the ball pit at Chuck-E-Cheese. Many of my friends are unmarried as well and are over 25. Though to be fair he makes a point. Getting older does nothing but limit the number of women available since any of the halfway sane ones already found another halfway sane guy to marry.

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Well actually...

The Ancient said:

Well actually...

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That"s actually totally accurate, and more or less exactly what I was going to post. My friends and I have discussed it, and if anything dating at 29 has been far more fun AND easier than in our early 20"s because we can date (or smash) anything from 18 year olds to 40+ year olds, should we choose to.

Tarrant220 said:

Only if you sign off on parental rights

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Its different in cali I am pretty sure.

Kenadul said:

Go for it man.

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Tarrant220 said:

Mageling, there"s really no reason to NOT go for it dude, so just keep taking things slow like you"ve been and see where it goes, there"s honestly no harm in it and you"re gonna have to put yourself out there at some point anyways, may as well be with her being you guys have a lot in common and you seem to like her.

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I do appreciate the honest feedback. Kinda nice to know I"m not missing any real warning signs that I"m about to fall into a big pit of crazy. (She seems to have it together pretty well for sure)

TheCutlery said:

Unless you"re in a position to be commanding serious amounts of 19 year old tail, the number of women who aren"t single mothers is going to be dwindling significantly, especially thru your 30"s. If you"re still holding out for this magical single chick with no kids who"s got it all together mentally, has no prior baggage or issues, and supports herself, you"re fucking dreaming, and you"re gonna be alone for the rest of your life.

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This is spot on. I even tried to do the whole dating younger chicks when I was in my mid 20"s and it was a fucking nightmare. I ended up trying so hard to make it work that it destroyed me personally and then walked away with heartache and feeling like you fucked everything up.

Note: This is because I have a fairly strong co-dependant history. Part of what I"m really working to get over now. I"ve seen the world with completely new eyes since I had some sense slapped into me.

TheCutlery said:

Sorry guys, it"s a fact. The reason there are no women who meet that criteria in their 30"s is because they all got snapped up by the big fish in their 20"s. You get the leftovers, and some of the options are less than perfect. Might wanna make your peace with that now.

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Again, this man is speaking the truth. We really are getting into our 30"s now, and the chance of finding a supermodel who plays MMOs and will cook you dinner every night is absolutely a unicorn. I realized this while I was peeking around and was self-analyzing to see what type of people would be into me. It"s pretty interesting to look at the list now compared to several years ago before I was married.

- Do they like children or have one of their own?
- Are they working toward their career goals?
- Do they evenhavecareer goals?
- Are they done with the party phase of their life?

The list goes on. Maybe it"s just me and the fact that I"ll be turning 30 here in the next couple months, but my priorities have changed. Can I look at some 21 year old chick and tell myself that I"d want to fuck her brains out? Yeah, but you won"t catch me saying that I"d want to wake up next to her the morning after.

TheCutlery said:

Yes, this. You only live once dude. Would you regret it if you didn"t go for it? If the answer is yes, then go for it.

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Much appreciated. Yeah, I am into her, and the fact that we have different schedules and aren"t able to just spend time with each other is turning out to be a good thing. The natural progression of that friendship/relationship is based on having to actuallythinkabout what the other person says, what they believe in. I was discussing with a friend earlier about how bad lust really is for relationships. For men, you strip away everything except that physical portion. Things like personality, common goals, experiences and dreams cease to matter and it"s just a shitty foundation. I"m preaching now so I"ll stop.

Suffice to say, I"m enjoying things going really slow, I"d just wanted to get the opinion of the powers that be (on FoH) if they really think this is worth diving into considering I don"t have a "formal" divorce from my wife yet, but we"ve been separated for nearly 6 months and I know she"s moved on and has been with other people. Seems that the answer is yes, assuming honesty about the situation as a whole with the new chick.

Tarrant220 said:

And when that child was born and he thought it was his, he signed parental forms declaring parental rights of the child.

That"s not the systems fault, it"s (depending on your point of view) his wife"s fault, or his for signing those forms without proof of them being his.

Does that suck? Sure it does, but that"s not the same situation you brought up a few posts ago.

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And the circle is complete.

None of my friends have made the conscious choice to get married and raise a family. Every single married couple in my circle was initiated by a random pregnancy.

I take that back, one couple is married without children.

Tarrant220 said:

If they got married after then I wouldn"t classify it as that at all.

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When they formalized the "My entire life is now over because I must raise this child with this woman I got pregnant" is irrelevant. In general the marriage was years after the child was born. But they were already living together and raising a family. I"m not sure what you believe marriage entails beyond those things.

When a ring was exchanged is a non-factor in how the relationship was based on getting someone randomly pregnant. But I must admit every male friend that had a child at 19ish manned up, are with the same women and have wonderful families a decade later.

TheCutlery said:

Guess it depends on who you hang out with. Your college buddies still smoking weed and playing Modern Warfare? Probably can"t take time outta their busy schedule to date. If your friends turn out to be guys you"ve worked with for the last 10 years, or parents of your kid"s friends, then uhh, yeah, turns out a shitload of them are married and have kids. That kinda shit happens once you have a job and a house and don"t have to worry about finals.

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Most of my friends are young professionals (doctors, lawyers, engineers, nurses etc) and like I said, the vast majority are not married or with children. Some are in long term relationships or living with their partner, sure, but like I said the average age for marriage these days is up in the high 20"s. Meaning that if you"re in your late 20"s, there"s still a majority of people within your dating range (25-35) that are unmarried. Shit, I just read a stat the other day that in Canada, roughly 50-55% of people 20-29 still live with their parents.

Saying that there"s no decent dating prospects that aren"t single moms or divorcees at 30ish is ridiculous in today"s day and age. Yes it"s on the downslope, no question. But guys in their 30"s can date girls in their mid to late 20"s just fine, and the majority of them have not been married or cranked out kids, at least around here. I"m not concerned in the slightest that I"m running out of time or something.