Ah what the hell why not. (Sorry about the novel)
Spoiler Alert, click show to read:So I"ve been friends with this girl for 6 years, we"ve pretty much been best friends for the last 4. We both worked at bars so a lot of our time spent together involved heavy amounts of alcohol, which usually lead to us eating each other"s faces at some point in the night. Normally that would be weird but I tend to do that to every girl I"m friends with and we laugh about it the next day. We are great wingmen for each other and its all around a perfect team. Problem is about 2 years ago I started realizing that I didn"t like going our separate ways at the end of the night, but suppressed the feelings since we were most definitely just friends.
I was deployed last year, and during that time I realized that out of all my family and friends she was the only one I truly missed being around, the feelings were not going to go away, and decided "fuck it might as well tell her when I get back and see wtf happens." After deciding this and a few months before I get home, I get an email from her telling me she"s been dating some guy from work for a few months and they"re engaged.
I finally get home and not wanting to cause problems keep my mouth shut and just hang out normally, though only when the fiance is around because I don"t fully trust myself heh. We start hanging out less and less because she refuses to take down old facebook pictures of us out on the town, and find out he doesn"t like her being around me because of "how she acts towards me."
2 months ago we go out with her sister and brother-in-law, and the 4 of us proceed to get wrecked and of course next thing I realize me and her are going at it like we used to. I stopped as soon as I realized what we were doing and told her we couldn"t do that, and she proceeds to break down telling me she doesn"t want to be with her fiancee and she likes me but she"s confused. The sister is trying to get me to take the girl home, since apparently no one in the family likes the fiancee and she was hoping this would happen. They end up leaving while I stay and sober up until my buddy gets off work.
She comes out a week later acting like nothing happened, I ask her if everything is ok, and apparently she was so hammered she doesn"t remember anything. So she leaves abruptly after being told what went down that night, goes home and tells the fiancee and texts me that we can"t ever hang out again.
I don"t see her or hear from her for 2 months until 4 days ago she shows up when a bunch of us friends were out at dinner, apologizes to me, and informs us her engagement is over due to "all the stuff that has happened recently" and doesn"t want to lose her friends too. We"ve hung out every day since then, its close to normal but definitely a little awkwardness.
I really do consider her my best friend, and would just leave things the way they were if I knew my sanity wouldn"t crack without saying something. I"m fully aware this will most likely end our friendship, but its going to happen at some point and I"d rather do it on my own terms and not because I"m falling over at the bar. I don"t want to say anything now though because I feel like its unfair to pile anything else on her while she"s going through the whole ending of an engagement.
I should add that I get the impression she was able to use what we did as her excuse to get out of an engagement she didn"t want to be in, not out of some actual want or need to be with me. So I guess, should I wait a while or should I just get it over with now so I can post what a train wreck this will be before the weekend is over?
