Girls who broke your heart thread

Zehn - Vhex said:

This is what it sounds like to me as well. I tried to do an LDR thing recently and I found myself wanting to spend every waking minute with her. If I wasn"t talking to her I was thinking about her. It was frustrating and infuriating that I never got to do all the things I wanted to do with her because we lived so far apart.

If you"re looking for shit to keep you occupied, what I did was took up doing some artsy stuff. I did a charcoal drawing that while simple, took me like two fucking weeks to do to get right. I posted those protoss emblems I made in one of the SC2 threads, that was a couple weekends as I learned how to use a scroll saw. I just got a mirror I etched for her professionally framed today, took me the better part of 2 months working on that. I have a few other projects I started that are sitting half-finished right now.

Unfortunately things didn"t work out for us so now I have all this stuff laying around and nowhere to go with it but maybe you"ll have better luck then I did. It satisfied my need to do things for her, to spend more of my time devoted to her.

As for things starting to feel routine, welcome to every relationship ever. Find a way to enjoy it, look forward to it. The best part of my day, the part I miss most, is her voice saying "Good night" to me.

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Post pictures of the mirror; Etched class is teh badass

GaliemVaelant said:

I once dated this short woman named Shelly...



PSYCH! lol Couldn"t resist.

Seriously though, Ashley and I broke up three years ago, and to this day I occasionally wake up dry sobbing from dreams about her. We were only together six months. I have no idea how she made such a huge impact.

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Since we"ve seen the type of chicks you go for naked those would be nightmares to the rest of us and I"d wake up sobbing as well from fear

Going through a bit of a dry patch in terms of relationships at the moment. Had to put aside actively seeking out women the last few months since I had a lot on my plate. Among other things I bought my first home and worked on moving to a better position in the company I"m employed at. I have now settled into both and well the shop is open for business again but one of the side effects of my new position is I"m pinging around Europe on a regular basis for work. So lots of airport lounges, long hours on client facing work and hotel stays. I"m usually not around my new apartment during the week and when I am at the weekends I just feel bummed out most of the time.

Any ideas on any course of action to try and fit some regular female interaction into this? Shall I be hitting the bars wherever I"m working at when I can? Kind of find this odd since most of the time I am working solo so this might be a skill I need to work on, as I think taking clients as wingmen might lead to professional suicide! Thus far I have managed to squeeze in 2 dates with someone I met in one country while I was flying there but due to the distances involved and me departing for good when the project work is done it"s not really going to lead to a relationship. Although, I"m not exactly averse to the "Come by my hotel room later...", but then again maybe I"m trying "to have one"s cake and eat it".

I"m thinking regular stop overs in Amsterdam should do the trick?

Dammit, somehow managed to turn my occasional 21 year old booty call in to something more, and I really don"t know where I went wrong. Things had been going so well!

"You sleep with me and then never text me jk. What are you up to this week, maybe you want to hang out?"

I think it started when we were texting and she mentioned she"d been in a car accident, and I expressed genuine concern she was okay because I"m not an asshole. All the sudden she was like "hey let"s hang out" as opposed to the usual 2am "HEY WHAT BAR ARE YOU AT COME NAIL ME" method of communication.

le sigh

you cant be alone big e

hold me

After reading that trainwreck of a thread where Grobbee got outed, I"ve been more than a little paranoid... Just knowing how incredibly brazen yet deceptive people can be is maddening. And a curious incident has recently occurred that has only made it worse for me.

Nearly a month ago, I get a call from my girlfriend (who recently moved to a different state) telling me that some guy "may" call me and tell me that she"s cheating on me. She said they had hung out once or twice with other people around, that he"s infatuated with her, and that when she told him she had a boyfriend, he went off and demanded she give him $1600 or else he"d tell me she fucked him. She said she put him on ignore and told him never to speak to her or come near her again and that if he tried to blackmail her, she"d press charges against him. I never got a call or any kind of contact from this guy, ever.

Keep in mind, this is the same girl who drove 7 hours to pick me up at the airport in a place she didn"t live, just to see me on my birthday. She even baked and brought me my favorite cake in a cooler so it would stay fresh and blew me as soon as I got off the plane. She seems to genuinely love me. We talk every day and I have a general feel for who her friends are and what her schedule is like from what she tells me and what I can determine on my own. The only dude friends of hers that I ever hear about are married and she doesn"t really go out too often, if what she tells me is true. Moreover, she almost never pops up on anyone"s facebook pics unless it"s in a picture with me.

But I"m suspicious as I rightfully should be. It kind of threw me for a loop and was completely out of the blue. We almost broke up when I was in Europe for the summer, because she was being a heinous bitch, but when I got back and she moved away she became by far the best girlfriend I"ve ever had, hands down. Like a totally different person. It"s weird, but nice. I get treated like a king and she will literally do anything I tell her to do, though I don"t really get off on being an authoritative asshole. Like I said, totally different person... And that"s what makes me so suspicious, more than anything. I was kind of weirded out when I got back at just how different she was. But she also stopped taking a couple of anti-depressant anti anxiety drugs altogether. Oddly quitting them seems to have made her much less crazy, mean, and bitchy. She went from being my biggest shit-talker to my biggest sweet-talker almost overnight.

She"s coming into town later this month to see me and I"m thinking about installing a keylogger on my computer to see for myself what happened, as supposedly the exchanges between her and this guy all happened on facebook. But I would feel horrible if I did so and found nothing, deeply breaking every rule of privacy against an innocent person, and something I would rage at someone else for doing to me. But I"ve got to know and my piss-poor investigative skills and intuition haven"t turned up anything really telling yet.

Thoughts?

brekk said:

Do you have anyone else going on Eomer? If not, just let her touch your peener

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Not really no. There"s the long time friend, first time hook-up that broke up with her long term boyfriend over the summer that I"ve mentioned in passing before, but not much is going on there. I went to an out of town wedding with her a couple weeks back and there was some making out and heavy petting but she wouldn"t let it go farther than that, and for the time being we"re remaining friends with the possibility of something in the future. Other than the wedding, we haven"t done anything "datish", however she knows I"m interested and virtually every one of our friends has been asking when we are getting together. Amusingly last Saturday I went out for some drinks with her, a friend of hers that I"d not met before and one of my dudes. When the two girls were leaving the bar, the friend when saying goodbye was like "it was great meeting you, you should totally date her" so obviously she"d mentioned something to her friend about our history and/or possible future.

I also messaged the Folk Fest/paddle boat date chick last night on a whim. As a refresher about 6 weeks ago she"d said she was still figuring things out with someone. I"ve got tickets to an Oilers game on Sunday, but as Monday is Thanksgiving here most people are having dinner with family and the usual dudes who would go aren"t available, so I figured I"d try her (by text). She"s eating with her family as well, I said no worries that there were lots of games, she said to keep her posted, and based on that I said hey why don"t we just grab a drink next week instead and she said sure. Told her I"d call this weekend to pin it down. We"ll see if she actually answers her phone this time and/or we meet.

So yeah, I"ve got nothing preventing me from seeing the booty call chick from time to time, but I don"t want to lead her along and she definitely appears to be looking for more than that all of the sudden.

@wrathcaster

I"d guess that if the guy had actually called you, it would be more likely that she did cheat on you. Someone who is just infatuated with another person wouldn"t usually actually take that big of a step, but in the heat of the moment, may say anything.

Tough position. I"m trying to imagine if I was cheating on someone and they threatened to tell my girlfriend, and I"d probably call my gf to warn her/prime her doubt. But if I didn"t do anything and some crazy girl threatened to call her, I"d probably do the same thing.

Then again, how does a guy become infatuated with someone who gives him no reason to belief they like him.

When she visits, you could try sitting her down, looking in her eyes and saying that if something happened, it will get out somehow and the only way you"d be able to work through it is if she came out with the truth right away (then kick her to the curb if it actually did). Not accusatory in tone, just serious.

Um, is no one going to comment on his keylogger idea?

Don"t do that, dude.

Heylel Teomim said:

Um, is no one going to comment on his keylogger idea?

Don"t do that, dude.

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Why not -- he gets instant truth and if he finds nothing he"ll have peace of mind.

Its not like he"ll actually feel bad -- who cares.

Keyloggers aren"t a good addition to a relationship, but they"re a shit lot better than being cheated on for the duration or being some paranoid psycho.

Relationship > privacy anyway.

@Wrath

Even before I found out my ex-wife cheated, I had actually installed a key logger on her computer while she was at work. During the day, I felt so bad about it, I ended up taking it off because I trusted her. The thing was, I hated even more that she had made me feel like I couldnt trust her. I think that was what did the most damage. If you are to the point that you cannot trust your girlfriend and you need a keylogger to verify that she is a good girl, then something is wrong and it will gradually get worse. In my case, the keylogger would have discovered that she was lying to me (and I may have been able to stop it before it happened), but it probably wouldnt have stopped the eventual fall of the relationship.

Anyways, what is happening to you reminds me of my ex-wife"s last cry for attention and I missed it-

It was the beginning of Jan., about 2 months before I found out she cheated. I was walking through the living room to get something to drink and she says to me, while on her laptop "I started talking to [old high school boyfriend] again" At first I was upset. At some point in our marriage, she had told me that if she had stayed with him, she thought she might have married him. This was one of those conversations that was "Who would you be with if we didnt meet" kinds of things. It was innocent and I never thought anything of it. When she told me she was talking to him, I immediately told her "No, youre not talking to him." and I walked away. After thinking about it, I went back in there and said almost these exact words "I am sorry I told you who you can and cannot talk to. Youre my wife and I love you and I know that I can trust you."...

I should have spent more time with her from then, but I continued killing shit in WoW and ignored her.

So, maybe this is some kind of cry for attention from your girl. You may think youre the best boyfriend in the world, but she may feel like she is missing something. Instead of asking her "Whats going on with this guy?", maybe try and ask her "Is there anything I can do to show you how much I love you?" or something similar. Try and find out if she feels like she is missing something and what you can do to fill that void. Once you do, she wont need another man to make up what youre lacking.

Good luck man. I am jealous of you and all the guys in here that are finding love. Like I have said before, I want it so bad and my fucking heart just isnt giving in to the women I have met.

Brad2770 said:

Even before I found out my ex-wife cheated, I had actually installed a key logger on her computer while she was at work. During the day, I felt so bad about it, I ended up taking it off because I trusted her.

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So you removed your surveillance because you trusted her, haha?

If you don"t trust the person you are with its a problem. Whether she is actually behaving trust worthy or not. If you do not trust someone in a committed relationship its time to end it. You must be able to fucking trust each other.

I have called off relationships because I "sensed" some sheisty. I am not a paranoid,insecure or jealous person. If I am picking up some weird I will trust my instincts and end it.

Wrathcaster said:

But I would feel horrible if I did so and found nothing, deeply breaking every rule of privacy against an innocent person, and something I would rage at someone else for doing to me.

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Follow this instinct, underhanded investigation is not the way to deal with this. If you have to do anything you must talk to her face to face. You can preface it with saying that this is about you, and the distance, etc. Don"t just attack her with "Are you/did you cheat on me with this dude that was maybe going to call but never did?"

My feelings are this, why the hell would she make that phone call if she was cheating? To make you ignore the guy when he called claiming this blackmail story? It seems like some kind of reverse psychology b.s. to justify that phone call in your own mind. I just don"t understand what she has to gain by calling you first unless you"re the world"s biggest sucker. But the fact you have doubt implies that"s not you.

Don"t try to rebuild your trust for her by doing something that so obviously would break her trust. That"s not a solution.