Girls who broke your heart thread

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OhSeven

Mediocre Negro
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ToeMissile said:
Like everyone else is saying, definitely this. I"m also not a fan of the whole having a female friend answer+giggle etc. There"s no need to stoop to her level or give her extra ammunition to talk shit about you. Just cut the chord, avoid thinking about all of this as much as possible. In a couple months you can look back with a much more subjective eye and see what there is to learn from the experience
Come on, like a woman needs reality to talk shit about a man. In 6 months he"s going to be an abusive, manipulative asshole who beat her on a daily basis, and once held her family hostage at gun point, while he raped her pet hamster Mr. Flufferbottoms.
 

ToeMissile

Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
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OhSeven said:
Come on, like a woman needs reality to talk shit about a man. In 6 months he"s going to be an abusive, manipulative asshole who beat her on a daily basis, and once held her family hostage at gun point, while he raped her pet hamster Mr. Flufferbottoms.
I know, I"m not saying she isn"t going to say stuff, just that there isn"t any reason to give her the satisfaction of having a "real" reason to bitch. In short, take the high road.
 

STFU_foh

shitlord
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Just wanted to say thanks again to everyone for the support and advice.

I just turned my phone off for the day so that I didn"t even have to think about hitting the green button.
 
Hard some times. Lithose is right: most of us are offering advice based on our own past mistakes.

Best advice going forward is A) stay strong and B) don"t let your experience in this relationship make you paranoid in the next.
 

Dabamf_sl

shitlord
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Ravvenn said:
You will eventually go through a million phases so keep busy. Don"t call wanting a reason "Why" - The reason is she"s a young, inexperienced girl that wants to frolic in a field of new and exciting penises.
fixed

It"s pretty much a truism that any relationship that starts before 20 is going to end. Obviously TheCutlery is an exception but truisms don"t apply to assholes.

Good job STFU. Stay strong and know your relationship was going to end at some point anyway simply due to the age you got together.

P.S. The Son-I-Am-Proud picture looks like Simon Cowell.
 

Eomer

Trakanon Raider
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So. Um.

Seriously, who suggested giving used lingerie to a new girlfriend? I mean really?

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:
Me said:
We"re separately going to the Banff/Canmore area this weekend with our own friends coincidentally, so we may meet up, otherwise I said we"d hang out next week. And actually I"m going to Canmore with Diane, but I think we"re just back to being friends again. Who knows.
lol, things went pretty goddamn sideways with this. Keeping it as short as possible, went to Canmore to hang out with a bud, Diane, and another friend. We ended up getting fairly drunk at the "country cottage" of Diane"s dad (massive house) and didn"t go skiing the next day due to hangovers. Made out with Diane a bit but she stopped anything further. Got lunch in town, the three others were all from Calgary and decided to head back, which kind of pissed me off since I thought we were hanging out for another night and were going to take it easy or go out. Drive my bud back and continue home since I didn"t feel like sticking around in Calgary and going out there. Bust.

Meanwhile I had texted with the new girl on Friday and she said she wasn"t going to be coming down to Banff afterall. Right after dropping my bud off and getting back in to my car I see I missed a call and had a voicemail from another friend, Bill, who was on the trip the week before and had met her and hung out with us. The voicemail is him kind of chuckling and saying he had been "out" on Friday with a certain someone that it had turned out I had been out with at the hockey game, and that we should probably talk. I call him and turned out that bugger had messaged her on Facebook later in the week, after finding her through my profile.

We hadn"t seen each other since the previous weekend and he said he hadn"t known I went to the game with her (I"d mentioned it to his roommate but they work opposite schedules and it hadn"t come up), and he asked her to hang out. So he went with her to a friend of her"s house. I got more detail from her on Saturday night, but the summary of the conversation with my bud was that nothing had happened, he hadn"t known we"d gone out, if she was someone I wanted to see again then he"d back off no worries, we need to come up with a better system to coordinate efforts in the future ("I added her first, you jackass, why wouldn"t you ask me?!" "You add every hot chick from the bus the week after the trip!" "I concede the point"), and that as far as he could tell with talking her on Friday about the situation she was probably going to avoid the whole thing and not see either of us. We were mostly laughing about inadvertently cock blocking each other.

So after telephone tag she called me Saturday evening and we chatted how both our weekends" plans had gone sideways, and she filled me in on a bit more detail about the whole goof up with my friend. I told her that there was no issue between me and him, that it was simple mis-communication and that I"d like to see her again provided she didn"t find the situation too awkward or weird. I told her to give it a couple days and to call me in a couple days and we"d go from there, she asked what I was doing Sunday, I said I was going to a friend's place for dinner, what was she up to tonight, she said she was just going to take it easy that night and veg out. In what I initially thought to be a colossal mistake as soon as it fell out of my mouth, I was like "hey well then why don"t you come over here and veg out with me? We can watch Inception," as she"d not seen it.

She hummed and hawed for a second and I laughed and said she could say no in order to try to backtrack, she said no she was on the fence, and then she said what the hell she"d just have to shower and be over in a couple hours. She came over, we watched the movie, had some good old grade 9 making out, she stayed the night and we had some grade 9 "whats your favorite color" conversation until 3am, got up, had brunch next door (and were coincidentally seated at the exact table we"d sat on Tuesday, just to add to the rom/com ambiance), helped me pick out some wine for the dinner, agreed that we"d hang out Tuesday, and left.

I still see a pretty big red flag with how she agreed to go out with my bud on Friday, but last week she"d said that when I asked her to the hockey game she wasn"t sure if it was just as friends, to which I responded "guys don"t generally ask single girls out on a date unless it"s a date". But otherwise I dig this chick, she"s a lot of fun. Lets hope my bud didn"t screw things up too badly for me, that dumbass.

Then again, serves me right as I was potentially going to get some on the sly with Diane.
 

Seethe_foh

shitlord
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STFU said:
I just turned my phone off for the day so that I didn"t even have to think about hitting the green button.
I"m glad to see you"ve actually taken heed of the advice given here by lots of guys who have been down the same road before. It"s a pretty rare sight.

Unfortunately, you remain right square in the danger zone and you"re definitely nowhere near out of the woods yet, as others have mentioned. The pull will be strong for you to reconnect with this woman, and you"re going to have to resist that pull. Since you were kind of on the fence about ending things in the first place, I"m willing to bet you"re much more susceptible to make a bad mistake. Recognize that now so you can (hopefully) catch yourself before doing something dumb.

That"s why so many others here have suggested you keep yourself distracted. I"m all for that, but don"t go overboard. You can"t deny that a relationship of several years just ended, and getting completely over that is going to take some time, especially since there appears to have been a lot of dysfunction in your relationship.

Right now I"d focus on just yourself for a week or two at minimum. Do some shit you"ve been meaning to but haven"t for whatever reason. If you go out with your friends to celebrate your new "freedom" and you have some game, don"t be shocked to find yourself hooking up with a ton of tail. Enjoy this time but for God"s sake don"t try launching right into another long-term relationship. There"s a reason "rebounds" have such a bad reputation. Don"t fuck over some (relatively) unsuspecting girl who doesn"t know that you"re not completely over your last ex, even though your actions objectively say you are.

And if you do go out, don"t get shitfaced; if your wingman isn"t watching your six, the second you feel a bit of rejection you"re going to be drunk dialing this gal and I promise you nothing good is going to come from that.

Stay strong!
 

Seethe_foh

shitlord
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Eomer said:
Seriously, who suggested giving used lingerie to a new girlfriend? I mean really?
I have to think that someone was just being a troll. Otherwise, that idea would have to make every Top 10 Worst Dating Mistakes to Make poll ever given.

... which probably means we"ll be hearing about it here soon enough.
 

Kirun

Buzzfeed Editor
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About how long should one wait before asking out a girl who has recently broken up with her boyfriend? I don"t want to seem like I"m "taken advantage" of a situation.
 

Eomer

Trakanon Raider
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Kirun said:
About how long should one wait before asking out a girl who has recently broken up with her boyfriend? I don"t want to seem like I"m "taken advantage" of a situation.
I"d say after she"s nailed about 3-5 other dudes.

Kidding! But seriously, if it"s a long term relationship that she"s coming out of it could well be 6-12 months before there"s any hope of her falling in to something meaningful or lasting, unless she"s marriage/baby crazy which brings up it"s own problems.
 

Cutlery

Kill All the White People
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Dabamf said:
Obviously TheCutlery is an exception but truisms don"t apply to assholes.
Wait, is this a truism too? I"m just wondering how to take this.

Kirun said:
About how long should one wait before asking out a girl who has recently broken up with her boyfriend? I don"t want to seem like I"m "taken advantage" of a situation.
The only real answer is that you"ll inevitably end up waiting about 5 minutes longer than whatever other asshole she wants to be with.
 
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Kirun said:
About how long should one wait before asking out a girl who has recently broken up with her boyfriend? I don"t want to seem like I"m "taken advantage" of a situation.
Doesnt matter. Enjoy the sex and if you really do like her, try to make it work (by playing games and manipulating her, of course!).