Girls who broke your heart thread
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Don"t ask her out on a "date," but just ask her out. Maybe that"s a little vague but hopefully you know what I mean.Kirun said:
Kirun
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But how should I play it? That"s what I"ve been struggling with. I don"t want it to sound like "Hey! I know you just broke up with your boyfriend and are vulnerable right now...wanna bang?" and I"m afraid this soon after the breakup, that"s the perception she"ll have.projectoffset said:
Tuco
I got Tuco'd!
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It"s the same as anything else, you call her up and see how she responds to you. If she"s not warm and you"re not getting a good vibe from her, don"t go for it. If she sounds like she"s glad to hear from you, ask if she wants to go out for coffee.Kirun said:
Big Phoenix
Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
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Have you been her friend, or just friendly? If it"s the latter, just completely ignore that she just broke up with her boyfriend and act as if she were any other single girl. She"s gonna want to have fun and be free of the stress of the breakup. A guy who is there to have a good time will do that, tip-toeing around and being paranoid about how she perceives you will not.
If you"ve been her actual friend for any significant amount of time, you"ll probably just waste your effort and ruin the friendship.
If you"ve been her actual friend for any significant amount of time, you"ll probably just waste your effort and ruin the friendship.
I wasn"t really attempting to make senseTheCutlery said:
Kirun
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Pretty much exactly what happened. We"ve been "friends" for about 3-4 months or so.Dabamf said:
I asked her out, she turned me down, and thought it was weird I would ask her because she thought we were "just friends." Now she seems way different. Oh, well. It"s pretty much impossible for me to be "just friends" with women I"m attracted to anyhow, so I guess this would"ve eventually happened anyways, but I just don"t get it. How can women keep things totally on a "friend" level when they"ve admitted to being attracted to you(she has)? I"ve never been able to do that with a female, unless she was ugly.
Dis
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Pretty much the same. Best thing you can do is just let her initiate contact at this point. Dont make an effort to stay in touch, lest you stay in the friend zone for the rest of your life. At worst, you get rid of a complication in your life (being attracted to a friend, which can cause all kinds of problems), at best she starts to reassess the situation and tries to hook up. Either way, if you get the heisman, fuck em, and move on to the next one.Kirun said:
You did the right thing, don"t feel bad about it. If you"ve got game there are still cards you can play here, but if you are hung up on this girl it"s time to let it go.Kirun said:
Big Phoenix
Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
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When will women learn to say "ohh sorry but im not interested" instead of the little cop out "ohh I thought we where just friends"?Dis said:
Ya, I don"t get this either. My wife is my best friend, and our friendship is the foundation in which our relationship was built. If you were trying for anything resembling a serious relationship you"d WANT it to be with someone who is your friend.Phoenix said:
Yo, it"s not rocket science. It"s not easy to say directly to someone "I have no interest in you romantically," and you certainly aren"t going to just bring it up to be safe because you suspect they might want otherwise.
It doesn"t make a big difference anyway. A lot of times when someone is really into someone else even if they are told "I don"t like you in that way," they hear "I don"t like you in that way,yet."
It doesn"t make a big difference anyway. A lot of times when someone is really into someone else even if they are told "I don"t like you in that way," they hear "I don"t like you in that way,yet."
You would think. This is why I have difficulties making overtly romantic overtures to anyone I"m seriously interested in -- I value the friendship of someone I"d want a real relationship with, and there"s a huge risk of awkwardness in a miscalculation. But not everyone works that way. They have what they want in friends, and what they want in a relationship, and they aren"t the same. Their ideal life looks like a venn diagram, with friends on one side, sex on the other, and your relationship occupying the overlapping sliver.opiate82 said:
Cutlery
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Relationship over, basically. The only logical course of action for you is to back off completely since she"s already rejected you, and the odds of her actually pursuing something, even if she desires it, is negligible at best.Kirun said:
Most women aren"t going to make the first move, and since she"s already shut you down once, the ball"s in her court now. That means you"ve got no ball to play with, so might as well move on to the next one and hope for a better result.
At least 3 weeks before you profess your undying love...Kirun said:
Did she directly tell you she had just broken up with her boyfriend without you seeking said information? If she did you were supposed to ask her at that moment.
Unless you have no man aura and she is completely unaware you have a penis and would like to touch her with it.
Edit: oops should have read the rest before responding haha.