Girls who broke your heart thread
- Thread starter Aychamo BanBan
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I think what happened to me is happening to Eomer. I was jody. Dated this girl for a while and then I thought she was cheating on me. Turned out I was "the other guy" and she was cheating on the guy she was already with.Al Capwn said:
another opener idea for online game. the translation probably sucks, forgive me, you may want to rephrase it
-"hey, are you confident and open enough for a honest compliment?"
-they, curious what it could be: "sure am!"
-"thats great, so am i! you wanna go first?"
-"hey, are you confident and open enough for a honest compliment?"
-they, curious what it could be: "sure am!"
-"thats great, so am i! you wanna go first?"
I would expect a prompt delete of the email right after your second. The first one would probably make them bite in a reluctant reply.
so far it seems to work pretty well, one of the girls said shes bad at making compliments, and i suggested that she could practice on me if she wanted to. now i"m getting alot of compliments.
if you think the second msg is too harsh, you could also say something like "hey, me too. don"t you think it would be fun making compliments to each other?
if you think the second msg is too harsh, you could also say something like "hey, me too. don"t you think it would be fun making compliments to each other?
Eomer
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haha, I doubt it. She"s a pretty sweet, innocent kind of girl from what I"ve seen (Coors Lite hostess stuff aside). She said she"d not had sex in 5 months, and I believe her. I shouldn"t have said "hook-up" though, she specifically said "make out" in reference to New Year"s, IE: kiss someone as the clock winds down. She really doesn"t strike me as the sleep around type, but I could well be wrong.aychamo_aycono said:
And I didn"t mean "keeper" sarcastically, I do think she"s a pretty nice girl. Only issue, and it may well turn out to be major: she"s at least moderately religious. It"s only come up once or twice, but she mentioned she"s a member of a Christian Reformed church. Not too familiar with that church, personally, but she mentioned that she goes pretty regularly. We shall see how that goes.
Falstaff
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I went to a college that was mostly Dutch CRC people (I am neither). It"s pretty cut and dry when it comes to them: they are either total prudes or some of the biggest sluts I"ve ever met. Their is no gray area with them. As an aside, they also tend to only date/marry their own people and get married very early in order to have sex.Eomer said:
For the most part, CRC people are pretty devoted when it comes to church, as in they"ll go every Sunday no matter what, but the other six days of the week you would have no idea they were religious at all. Their was a church down the street from campus that was pretty much the hangover church...everyone who you got hammered with the night before was always there because it was within walking distance and later in the morning.
Always kind of awkward banging a girl then seeing her at church the next morning acting all....churchy?
So, if your not dutch or CRC you might want to just ask her if that is going to be a problem right off the bat if you are thinking long term on this. If she is not dutch it"s probably no big deal.
Sorry to say it but that sounds exactly like my situation was. Girl was supposed to be a "good girl" except she loved to bang when she was with me. She was supposed to also be Mormon and went to church every week but that was all a sham.Eomer said:
Tarrant
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Okay, long post inc.
Alright well I finally went out to dinner with the girl I was talking about a few pages back. Mind you, neither of us were looking for "hit it and quit it" We"re both looking for a decent relationship.
Okay so her profile pics were so far off the mark it was insane....I know what you"re thinking, she turned out to be ugly and a whale right?
This girl was so far above what her pictures made her look like it was down right insane. No way I approach this girl if I see her randomly somewhere. While not a 10, she"s really damn hot and has one of the finest bodies of anyone I"ve ever been out with. I was a bit intimidated at first but that wore off about 20 seconds into the date when we sat down and ordered our beers and we started bullshitting about everything under the sun.
We went out the day after xmas, I had my kids most of the day and she hit me up to call her as soon as I dropped them off so I did. We planned on just dinner and that"s all we ended up doing but dinner last over 3 hours. Friends told me that this seemed to be a good sign.
We part ways after, I had to work at 6am the following day and she had to get home to her own kid as well.
During the dinner you could tell there were no expectations of anything, which was good for both of us. I tried to pick up on signals as far as her interest in me I dunno, I mean things were good but I"m overly paranoid of shit so after the date I thought things went well but kept getting the feeling that shit didn"t go as well as maybe I thought.
I walked her to her to her car and she told me to call her and that was the end of the night pretty much.
Well I worked 14 hours Saturday and 12 on Sunday and I knew she had plans Sunday evening so I sent her a quick email last night explaining I had been busy, I had a good time and blah blah blah. I kept it pretty short. This morning I got the reply and was dreading the, "You"re a nice guybut...." response.
When it came to her and I, this is what was sent to me in her response.
Yes she talked about her ex a lot, but the dude lives in India, nothings gonna happen there as he"s married and is trying to fuck with this girls head. It"s the father of her kid and she"s just going through a hard time trying to get him involved in his sons life in some small way. I talked about mine in passing because I had to see the crazy bitch an hour before I went out on the date. -shrugs- I didn"t go into details or what not just that I dropped them off and a few unimportant tidbits. I can see her point though and I called her today and explained it would never had been brought up had I not seen her an hour before hand, but she would need to know that yes I do see her because of the kids and it"s something that"s not going away, just like her ex and her sons situation. I told her that her situation didn"t bother me and I respected her trying to get her ex to at least talk to their son. She seemed to have some relief in her voice when I said that but the topic was dropped after that. No point in getting to deep in something like that after a first date.
Yes, it is a small complication, but anyone with kids knows it"s not one you can really ignore and one you need to get out on the table right at the beginning. People with out kids can"t understand and that"s fine, I don"t expect them to, I fully expect to see the "forget this girl or the "baby daddy drama" stuff, honestly it"s to an overly large deal, maybe having kids myself I"m immune to it.
Anyways....
The email to me seemed again to kinda go both ways and when I talked to her on the phone a little while ago she said she didn"t know if it was right to be putting herself out there at the moment given her situation with getting her ex to acknowledge her son. I told her that didn"t bother me, because it dosen"t, I would do the same thing if my ex wife didn"t talk to my kids either.
I told her my days off and she said she would like to plan something for new years day (it"s my only day off other then today). I"m not sure what to expect out of it but I know from talking to her if she wasn"t interested she would outright blow me off, she"s pretty open and blunt about shit, which I really dig.
So yeah, that was that. At this point I think it could still go either way but at least it"s something fun for now.
Alright well I finally went out to dinner with the girl I was talking about a few pages back. Mind you, neither of us were looking for "hit it and quit it" We"re both looking for a decent relationship.
Okay so her profile pics were so far off the mark it was insane....I know what you"re thinking, she turned out to be ugly and a whale right?
This girl was so far above what her pictures made her look like it was down right insane. No way I approach this girl if I see her randomly somewhere. While not a 10, she"s really damn hot and has one of the finest bodies of anyone I"ve ever been out with. I was a bit intimidated at first but that wore off about 20 seconds into the date when we sat down and ordered our beers and we started bullshitting about everything under the sun.
We went out the day after xmas, I had my kids most of the day and she hit me up to call her as soon as I dropped them off so I did. We planned on just dinner and that"s all we ended up doing but dinner last over 3 hours. Friends told me that this seemed to be a good sign.
We part ways after, I had to work at 6am the following day and she had to get home to her own kid as well.
During the dinner you could tell there were no expectations of anything, which was good for both of us. I tried to pick up on signals as far as her interest in me I dunno, I mean things were good but I"m overly paranoid of shit so after the date I thought things went well but kept getting the feeling that shit didn"t go as well as maybe I thought.
I walked her to her to her car and she told me to call her and that was the end of the night pretty much.
Well I worked 14 hours Saturday and 12 on Sunday and I knew she had plans Sunday evening so I sent her a quick email last night explaining I had been busy, I had a good time and blah blah blah. I kept it pretty short. This morning I got the reply and was dreading the, "You"re a nice guybut...." response.
When it came to her and I, this is what was sent to me in her response.
We both picked to what was supposed to be a decent German place but the food was pretty "meh" and our waitress was pretty insane to the point where we were openly mocking her. lol
Yes she talked about her ex a lot, but the dude lives in India, nothings gonna happen there as he"s married and is trying to fuck with this girls head. It"s the father of her kid and she"s just going through a hard time trying to get him involved in his sons life in some small way. I talked about mine in passing because I had to see the crazy bitch an hour before I went out on the date. -shrugs- I didn"t go into details or what not just that I dropped them off and a few unimportant tidbits. I can see her point though and I called her today and explained it would never had been brought up had I not seen her an hour before hand, but she would need to know that yes I do see her because of the kids and it"s something that"s not going away, just like her ex and her sons situation. I told her that her situation didn"t bother me and I respected her trying to get her ex to at least talk to their son. She seemed to have some relief in her voice when I said that but the topic was dropped after that. No point in getting to deep in something like that after a first date.
Yes, it is a small complication, but anyone with kids knows it"s not one you can really ignore and one you need to get out on the table right at the beginning. People with out kids can"t understand and that"s fine, I don"t expect them to, I fully expect to see the "forget this girl or the "baby daddy drama" stuff, honestly it"s to an overly large deal, maybe having kids myself I"m immune to it.
Anyways....
The email to me seemed again to kinda go both ways and when I talked to her on the phone a little while ago she said she didn"t know if it was right to be putting herself out there at the moment given her situation with getting her ex to acknowledge her son. I told her that didn"t bother me, because it dosen"t, I would do the same thing if my ex wife didn"t talk to my kids either.
I told her my days off and she said she would like to plan something for new years day (it"s my only day off other then today). I"m not sure what to expect out of it but I know from talking to her if she wasn"t interested she would outright blow me off, she"s pretty open and blunt about shit, which I really dig.
So yeah, that was that. At this point I think it could still go either way but at least it"s something fun for now.
Sounds like it went well and she wants to see you again. I think it is bad when people talk about their exes a lot though, not so much you but if she talks about hers a lot then that could be a bad sign sometimes but with him across the world, theres not much to worry about unless he comes back.
Grats dude, I would say to keep it light and fun for now just see how it pans out as you hang out with her more and get to know each other.Tarrant220 said:
Eomer
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Nice, thanks for the info. She"s dutch, I"m not (raised Roman Catholic but pretty strong atheist). I think for now I"m going to just avoid the subject entirely and see how things go. The other issue with her is that she"s mentioned her friend is leaving this weekend to travel Australia and SE Asia for a few months, and she"s wanting to meet up with her and travel for a couple months, maybe even 6. So if that"s the case and she"s leaving in a couple months anyway, then perhaps it"s not even worth discussing because the relationship has an expiry date on it anyway.eyashusa said:
Then again, the last girl I went out with that said she was going to Australia (she was moving there to take vet school, had a spot lined up and everything) ended up cancelling her plans and moving from Calgary to 5 blocks away from me in Edmonton instead.
When we were doing some pillow talk, she did mention a couple she knew that were engaged after "only" 9 months, she thought that was "too quick". She also said that she has zero interest in having kids any time soon, when that came up (a couple friends announced they were preggers the night before). So she doesn"t seem like a "let"s get married immediately and crank out 8 babies" kind of girl. But nor does she seem slutty. Really, other than the one or two mentions of a youth group and the joking "you made me miss church!" comment Sunday morning, she seems like a totally normal, cool girl. But I barely know her at this point. Right after the church comment, I mentioned that I was raised Roman Catholic but that "it wasn"t my thing" anymore. She kind of made a comment that her church was pretty laid back or chill or something like that, and I quickly changed the subject.
It was kind of funny, because the night before I had a huge party, and at one point myself and several others were smoking on the roof discussing the God Delusion, Dawkins Harris and so on. She wasn"t around for that, but the next day one of the guys called me on my cell while we were watching Iron Man on the couch, and asked what book we were talking about. I just blurted out "The God Delusion" without thinking twice, but I didn"t see any reaction from her, not sure if she wasn"t paying attention or just thought I was talking about a random fiction book. Either way I was laughing at myself and the situation.
Oh god I see this thread is back on the upward swing. We went from bitching about our exes to trying to fuck with bitches online and it seems a few of you have gone and gotten yourselves smitten again. I sense drama in the passing months.
Tarrant
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My intentions were clear from the start.Tenks said:
I think everyone knew aychamo"s as well. lol
He and I are pretty much the exact opposites I think when it comes to this thread. It"s alright though, he"s still cool...if not a whore.
And I"ve had my fill on drama, if I sense it coming I"ll not hesitate to cut the stings in a heart beat.
