Girls who broke your heart thread

Lefazz said:

What annoys me is how, generally speaking, most people are just flat out unfriendly. If I say nothing neither will they. Why doIhave to be the one to make an attempt at being friendly?

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Some people are just introverted. This is natural, you seem to lack basic understanding of humans.

Introversion has a large amount to do with it. Also for a lot of people it may just have to do with "Hi" being a very large amount of their daily routine. Working in a university setting in a building with a large staff, I can tell you that for a lot of people, simply saying "Hi" and pulling the whole friendly thing can get worn out quick. There"s this sort of feeling that you have to greet everyone day in and day out with "Hi, hello, hello, good morning, morning, good night" sort of thing that really, it can get old. If someone doesn"t seem to respond to it, it may not mean they are an asshole as much as a "I"ve already greeted about 100 other people today" type of deal.

Of course, there are also staff and students I deal with on a day to day basis who are straight up fucking awkward and anti-social. It"s almost like their day to day goal in life is to avoid eye contact with everyone and get the fuck out at the end of the day without anyone noticing them. Seriously, there are people you can meet who would make you feel like a social butterfly pro.

So there can be many reasons why you feel like you are the one who always have to initiate the greetings. It could be that they are wierd and anti-social. Some are just introverted or shy. Others are just worn out from their daily "Hello" quota (sounds like bullshit but really, when some people have to say it to a full staff, it gets old). And some are just straight up assholes who really don"t give a shit about saying hi. So just go with it, and if people don"t greet you back, don"t take it personally.

i"d recommend practicing eye contact and smiling. that surely won"t ever get you into any trouble. and if she smiles back you already got a reason to say hi.
at some point you will just know by their reaction if they want to talk to you or avoid you.

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Eye contact, smiling and relentless positivity. I disagree with those who say that you can"t become a social superstar if you"re not born with the innate talent for it -- it is completely possible, you just have to work on it. Starting conversations with strangers is actually one of the best ways to get over shyness. Talk about anything, the weather, an interesting topic, something they"re wearing, anything will do. As long as you smile, give them eye contact you"ll see reciprocation.

Humor is also a big one. Being able to randomly improvise, do voices, properly tell a joke, etc. will add significantly to your likability.

In short be confident, be cheerful and be funny. That will get you all the girls you can handle.

Whyme said:

In short be confident, be cheerful and be funny. That will get you all the girls you can handle.

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You should also be rich, tall, square-jawed, and V-shaped. Oh, and famous

I"d just like to post some nice conversational peices to those of you trying to warm up.

I"ll start out with what I assume to be the hardest one:

If a girl you like is texting you/ calling you, answer back saying, "I don"t know I got some sort of manly musk going on right now from all this ____ work I"ve been doing." The key here is to convey you"re trying to be funny not macho.

Then you come down anyway unless you"re busy.

By the way never mentioned you did a work out to a woman or that you"ve been working out, it is usually just repulsive/ attention-whoring to them.

Here"s some more:

Many women have listened to TLC and arguably, many of them enjoy the songs, especially during point in their life when they have went through a break up or they"ve been depressed. If they"re a woman 9 times out of 10 they"ve experienced this.

You just casually drop sayings into the conversation like, "Yeah, I always say don"t go chasing waterfalls." If she starts catching on pretending you don"t know (in a very obvious way) that you don"t know what she"s talking about and laugh about it.

or "Aww man, I"m such a scrub." Try to connect scrub to her because in the song, a scrub is "someone who can"t get no love from me." She will either immediatly think you are implying you"re trying to get her love or she will realize it later on and that kind of thing makes their hearts ache. This is a good way to say you like someone.

Don"t say things like, "I wish I could be with you all day." or "Man I love you." in a conversation. It sounds creepy and clingy. Some people say these disastrous things naturally and if you"re one of those people god help you (and try to watch your speech for a while).

I myself am usually really straightforward about trying to set up dates with a woman if I"m trying to get "my game on" and I got to say it does not work with classy women. So be careful if you feel you are already confident, because you can just look a fucking ass.

I know thee just a few pointers but they are good ones and they"ve been tested.

Also here is a really good one but don"t fuck it up/ don"t even attempt it until you feel you"re at a good point in the relationship. The reason is that it is such an easy movie and its simply and you don"t want to use it too often.

When she asks about something or you"re commenting about something you say, "Well I just follow my heart." I feel like I released some sort of essence that attracts a woman to me when I say this and they usually take a deep breath and their body movement is really indicating an attraction after this. You have to be charming when you say it. This all comes natural to me but don"t attemp some of these till you"re ready.

Of course, you can mix and match and tweak things to your liking.

I just wanted to offer som ereally specific ideas to you guys, not smile and say hi to everyone. I know some people that do that and they look like fucking dweebs or tools that go through the motions. I almost NEVER start out with hi/ hello and I get good results.

Ghorus said:

Here"s some more:

Many women have listened to TLC and arguably, many of them enjoy the songs, especially during point in their life when they have went through a break up or they"ve been depressed. If they"re a woman 9 times out of 10 they"ve experienced this.

You just casually drop sayings into the conversation like, "Yeah, I always say don"t go chasing waterfalls." If she starts catching on pretending you don"t know (in a very obvious way) that you don"t know what she"s talking about and laugh about it.

or "Aww man, I"m such a scrub." Try to connect scrub to her because in the song, a scrub is "someone who can"t get no love from me." She will either immediatly think you are implying you"re trying to get her love or she will realize it later on and that kind of thing makes their hearts ache. This is a good way to say you like someone.

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Real original
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By the way, I take back what I said about the smile/ hi approach.

There are obviously more than one way to meet women. I was just in an asshole mood, trying to discredit everyone else.

At least I admit this shit.

@ Mmmkeshek

I usually don"t edit my wording unless I consider it really atrocious and that isn"t a high standard for me.

Watch this video to hear an in-depth analysis of why I do this:

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Ghorus said:

Many women have listened to TLC and arguably, many of them enjoy the songs, especially during point in their life when they have went through a break up or they"ve been depressed. If they"re a woman 9 times out of 10 they"ve experienced this.

You just casually drop sayings into the conversation like, "Yeah, I always say don"t go chasing waterfalls." If she starts catching on pretending you don"t know (in a very obvious way) that you don"t know what she"s talking about and laugh about it.

or "Aww man, I"m such a scrub." Try to connect scrub to her because in the song, a scrub is "someone who can"t get no love from me." She will either immediatly think you are implying you"re trying to get her love or she will realize it later on and that kind of thing makes their hearts ache. This is a good way to say you like someone.

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Do you wear a lot of overalls with just one of the straps buckled?

You should also be rich, tall, square-jawed, and V-shaped. Oh, and famous

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Dabamf, you and I are going to have to agree to disagree here because I don"t believe that any of the things I mentioned are unattainable to the common guy.

Take me for instance. I was an absolute mess coming out of high school. I had no self-esteem, no physical shape to speak of and I had no idea how to handle myself in conversation. I would come off as arrogant and haughty when I really just wanted to be friendly and sociable.

It took me a LONG time to realize that I had these problems, but once I did I didn"t just say "oh well, guess I"m just fucked for the rest of my life!" I set about fixing them. I read books, I started being more actively aware of people"s responses to my own behavior and I mimic"d those that I saw had the social traits that I wanted.

No matter how dense you are, you can learn to tell a joke. You can learn about irony and you can learn to look at things in a humorous way. Are you going to be David Letterman? No, but you can be humorous and affable.

I also learned about the power of positivity and its effect on those around. You can train your mind to think and speak positively, and from my experience it is one of the most powerful tools in the social arsenal. Everyone loves to be around a happy, positive person.

So, regardless of what people may think or say, the traits that I originally listed are not above anyone"s emotional scope. All it takes is the desire.

Or you can just give in to self-defeatism and never bother trying in the first place.

Dunno when I was in highschool and I was rather reserved and polite I had a fairly nice influx of varied vagina. You don"t have to be outgoing to not be a fucking weirdo. Shit even aloof and strange is a viable pussy getting mode. Also cheerful and funny only goes so far if you are physically abhorrent. I know some john candy level cheerful and funny fat people who get no pussy.

The only thing that really needed is stepping up to the plate on a regular basis and not being a physically appalling weirdo. And some vestigial amount of man aura never hurts. If you meet new women and they are instantly not fully ware you have cock you want to rub on them you are not projecting enough man essence.

Jx3 said:

You"ve been around for some time. You want to revise that statement about standards? Little refresher, and let us not forget

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Yea, I"d link my first posts in this thread, but I"d rather not relive the humiliation. Although it is kind of funny in retrospect to see the progression of my "life" over that amount of time.

Anyways, even us "pasty basement dwellers" sometimes forget about the thing called standards. Thank god I"m slowly starting to recover I think. This thread has definitely helped me, whether it was for the initial advice on setting up an online dating profile, or just advice on how to mentally think about relationships in general.

Girl #1 Obese chick (and very fucked up mentally) that I slept with on first date after having known her a couple days.
Girl #2 Decently attractive chick (chronic health problems) that I slept with on second date after having known her for a week.
Girl #3 Decently attractive chick that I slept with on the first date (but after having talked to for more than a month).
Girl #4 Been talking to for the last month. 3 dates and only kissing so far. Attractive, but does have past baggage (kids). Seems to be mentally stable.

Been on a couple other dates with various girls, but these were the "success stories"

girl with kids...

walk away young champion.

Stratos said:

girl with kids...

walk away young champion.

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I"m 28 now, any decent girl my age is going to have been with other guys at this point.... It"s something I have come to accept.

But yea, online dating has definitely "worked" for me. Sharmai"s advice was pretty much on point, although I think I get WAY more replies than most guys on dating sites, he says 1/50. It"s probably closer to 1/3 reply. 1/10 have a conversation with. 1/50 end up going on a date with.

But it is very much a numbers game. There is no such thing as a "perfect girl" when you"re talking about online dating. You"ll find the "perfect girl" spend 30 minutes writing up the "perfect" message to attract her interest. And then as soon as you hit send you"ll find out that her mailbox is completely full even though she last logged in 2 weeks ago.

That being said....


The overall consensus advice on this forum has definitely worked out well for me. Just wanted to say Thanks FoHSS for leading my life in positive directions. The Advice you gave after Girl #1 worked perfectly.

Anyways, I"d much more strongly recommend plentyoffish/okcupid over e-harmony... this is the internet, anything worth getting... is worth getting for free. okcupid works well for me, but plenty of other people get better results with plentyoffish, a lot of it depends on your city I guess.