Girls who broke your heart thread

This is love:
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May God have mercy on your souls.

aychamo_aycono said:

It ain"t love after two days! You"re pumped up about something that just happened and it all seems really good. I"m pumped up for you too because you finally got her. Good job man glad to read this. DO NOT TELL HER THAT YOU LOVE HER.

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No worries, I won"t. I"ll let her say it first.
Sticking to "I feel good when you"re with me" and similar for a while.

She told me that some guy I know from seeing + smalltalk called her and showed his interest in her... and she told him she"s not interested. It"s going to be a bit awkward when he runs into the two of us ... ah well.

Anyway, she could have kept that to herself, but decided to tell me about it. She doesn"t seem to be hiding anything.

I have some horrible feeling that in a few weeks if things are still really exciting you are gonna think "fuck it I wanna tell her how I feel" and freak her out. I dropped the L bomb only once and it was after 2 months of seeing the girl 4-6 days a week in a absolutely perfect relationship that lasted a year (ended only because I was too young to settle down), and it still took her 15 seconds to reciprocate. My best friend said it after 2 months and the girl freaked out and they broke up. If a relationship is good enough to warrant those words, saying them will do little to improve it. But the possible negative consequences are huge. It"s a liability. I think people just wanna say it to make themselves feel good thatthey can now say "I"m in love" to other people.

Anyway, get some fuckin perspective. It"s infatuation and excitement, nothing more. Emotions are sneaky lying fuckers. When I had a booty call arrangement with an ex if I went a week without sex I started to develop feelings for her again, but right after I lost them and wanted her out of my bed. Love is as much intellectual as it is emotional. How would she handle you losing your job and supporting you while you get back on your feet? If she sees you talking to another girl and maybe you are unintentionally a little too friendly, will she address it maturely or will she find a guy nearby to flirt with to get revenge? Those things are infinitely more important than "we both eat peanut butter out of the jar with a spoon!" type bullshit.

In summary, the l word won"t do much to improve a relationship that warrants it but has the power to destroy one that may not yet warrant it, and trust your rational evaluation of the girl and strip that evaluation of emotional influence because emotions are lying fuckers.

Dabamf has it pretty spot on. The Love word brings nothing but a word to a relationship and yet creates so much more drama and emotional entanglement. If you find yourself disagreeing with her on anything in the near future and you"ve started saying the "I love yous" she will use it against you or vice versa. You really need to see her entire life and not just the small fragment you"ve experienced.

Ronaan said:

So what is love?

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Since you asked:

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Well, I have been hanging out with the 19 yr old"s sister lately. She finally got her Jeep fixed, so is mobile again. We were good friends before I dated Nineteen and kind of lost contact when I stopped dating her.

There are no feelings between me and her sister. We are just good friends. Well, Nineteen found out we went bowling tonight. She started texting me and was texting her sister. Now she wants to go out tomorrow with her sister, her sister"s date and me.

There was never anything bad that happened between me and Nineteen. Both of us acted immature and kind of started drifting apart (plus, the shit with my ex and her ex.....) Anyways, from what I understand, she is single. I think I will go out with her. I really dont see any wrong. Was never any strong feelings for her, though I really loved her company. Gunna try and keep sex out of it for awhile and just be friends for now. I really want a woman around that i really like.

On a serious note, love is that feeling you get when the happiness of another is essential to your own. Being in love is when you"re happy just being around someone. Having both in a best friend is about as perfect as it gets.

FUCK not having a car.

There was an accident on the highway and all the traffic was stopped, so I also stopped. Some douche bag behind me was talking on his cell phone and kept on driving hitting me at like 40 mph (and I drive a tiny BMW Z4) and fucked my car.

They did repairs that are up to like 17k now and still are not finished after two months...God so boring being without a car.

Dabamf said:

Love is as much intellectual as it is emotional. How would she handle you losing your job and supporting you while you get back on your feet? If she sees you talking to another girl and maybe you are unintentionally a little too friendly, will she address it maturely or will she find a guy nearby to flirt with to get revenge? Those things are infinitely more important than "we both eat peanut butter out of the jar with a spoon!" type bullshit.

In summary, the l word won"t do much to improve a relationship that warrants it but has the power to destroy one that may not yet warrant it, and trust your rational evaluation of the girl and strip that evaluation of emotional influence because emotions are lying fuckers.

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I don"t think she really cares about what kind of job I have at all. But I"m also quite sure she"d support me in any way she could if anything blows up. Just like I would do for her.
Talking to other girls is not something that bothers her. She"s not that insecure. In fact, she"s probably the only emotionally stable woman I"ve met in the past 5 years.

Thanks for the good advice You really helped me a lot in this thread.

Grayson Carlyle said:

On a serious note, love is that feeling you get when the happiness of another is essential to your own. Being in love is when you"re happy just being around someone. Having both in a best friend is about as perfect as it gets.

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For now, that"s exactly how it is. I"m sure infatuation still plays into it a lot though, so I"ll see how it develops in the future.

Ronaan: At first guess, she mentioned the guy thing to gauge your reaction and make herself seem more desirable to you, though it"s a bit of selling refrigerators to Inuits at this point. Don"t scare her off though with anything like "love", fuck. When in doubt, reflect her own level of interest back at her. Don"t even volunteer information such as, "I rike spending time with you" until she says it first. One level behind at all times, friend. One level behind. But congratulations, finally, Ronaan! It"s about goddamn time. ^^

That said, I wonder why on earth people jump into those twitterings of "love" so quickly? I mean, after a good lay or two someone is seriously considering long-term potential in their partner by scrutinizing their job, choice of hobbies, how they"re "so alike", and so forth. That"s just from this thread alone. Are people merely uncomfortable with the middle ground between casual sex and a committed relationship? Or maybe everyone just loves the feeling of limerence? Perhaps a result of a monogamist-centric society? Just an interesting thing to ponder.

Grayson Carlyle said:

On a serious note, love is that feeling you get when the happiness of another is essential to your own.

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A Heinlein fan, eh? =)

Alcestis said:

A Heinlein fan, eh? =)

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Only the best book ever written.

Grayson Carlyle said:

Only the best book ever written.

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Wait, what book are we talking about here?

Alcestis said:

Ronaan: At first guess, she mentioned the guy thing to gauge your reaction and make herself seem more desirable to you, though it"s a bit of selling refrigerators to Inuits at this point.

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Possible, but I don"t think that was the motivation behind it.

I knew he had been hanging out with her, in fact I had already thought they"d be together soon. Never brought it up myself though. She showed up at my place on saturday as planned and said "I have to tell you something, but maybe you"ll throw me out when I do."
I expected the worst, but all that came was that he had told her he wanted to go out with her and she said "no". Pretty harmless to me.

But congratulations, finally, Ronaan! It"s about goddamn time. ^^

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Thanks, and you"re damn right it"s about time...
I"ll keep the "one level behind" thing in mind.

Haha, that"s like a surgeon coming out and saying, "Well, I have to tell you something, but maybe you"ll toss me off your kid"s case if I do. You"ll have to pay me the agreed-upon money, because I successfully removed ALL of her cancer... with mets. She"ll make a full recovery. Is that okay?" Of course it"s harmless. It"sobviouslygood news for you and she knew it. What other reaction could she possibly be expecting when she essentially said, "I didn"t like that other dude as much as you, so I"m here, with you, instead"? To be seriously thrown out? Pfft. Sounds like a grab even more. xD

Nevertheless, we all look forward to the titties that you will, no doubt, soon post. BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!

Kevincheese said:

Wait, what book are we talking about here?

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The quote is from one of the two intermissions in "Time Enough For Love" which were reprinted with some nice artwork in "The Notebooks of Lazarus Long." Heinlein certainly wrote enough novels that people have called "The best book ever written" to muddy the waters though.

I was referring to Stranger in a Strange Land. It"s quoted in there as well, from Jubal Harshaw to Ben.