Health Problems

Thx for signing and for the advice......it might sound terrible but thank god he is my step dad and not biological.....that is one terrible disease.

Bought a hemorrhoid donut cushion today. My life has already changed for the better after a few hours.

So I've google diagnosed myself with Hypnopompic hallucinations, meaning hallucinations that occur as you are waking up. I'm still reading up on this, but it's been going on for years now so I'm pretty confident that I'm accurately self-diagnosing. Anyway for the last few years it's been inconvenient and mildly embarrassing but not a huge deal. My theory is that the hallucinations trigger a fight or flight response from me, and it has always been a flight response. I'll dive out of bed, throw my blankets over something that isn't there, although it doesn't progress very far past that as I wake up and the hallucinations stop. A handful of times I've become aware of the fact that I'm hallucinating before the hallucinations stop but this is rare.

For the last couple months, these hallucinations have been instead triggering a fight response. I'll lurch out of bed attacking a phantom that isn't there. I've hit things near my bed, and swung at a concrete wall hard enough that I'm lucky not to have broken my hand. I have a sleep study coming up because my doctor suspects sleep apnea, but god if I'm not terrified that a nurse is gonna come to wake me up and I'm gonna absolutely clobber her. Obviously I'll mention the hallucinations but I wouldn't be surprised if they don't take me seriously.

If they don't find anything contact the history channel asap.

Get the hospital to hook her up with a shrink.

Just speak to her doctor about managing the anxiety/depression. There are definitely options. Xanax would probably be one of the ones suggested first. It'll definitely calm her nerves. Ambien will definitely let her sleep but there are some whacky side effects to that one. It can cause short term memory loss from right after it kicks in until it wears off. It can definitely lower inhibitions. You might be able to have some fun with that one . It can make you VERY talkative. Apparently I'd have conversations with my wife but I would never remember most of them. And like pot it can make you hungry or make you think you're hungry. Either way you'll want to eat. Sounds fucked up but all that can be avoided by just going straight to bed after taking it. For me even after taking it I'd still have a difficult time actually going to bed (see below).

On a personal level I've been where she is right now. About 13 years back now I had constant anxiety attacks due to worrying about cancer. I could not sleep at all. This will sound weird but unless I slept with my head at the bottom of the bed instead of top I couldn't get to sleep in my bed. If I did that I could generally get to sleep fine.
Even to this day I have sleep issues. Speaking of self diagnosing I honestly feel like I have PTSD from some of the harsh medical issues I've faced. Worst of all being told I'm going to die because there's nothing they can do. Even 13 years later that shit is still there in the back of my mind.

Gavinmad_sl said:

So I've google diagnosed myself with Hypnopompic hallucinations, meaning hallucinations that occur as you are waking up. I'm still reading up on this, but it's been going on for years now so I'm pretty confident that I'm accurately self-diagnosing. Anyway for the last few years it's been inconvenient and mildly embarrassing but not a huge deal. My theory is that the hallucinations trigger a fight or flight response from me, and it has always been a flight response. I'll dive out of bed, throw my blankets over something that isn't there, although it doesn't progress very far past that as I wake up and the hallucinations stop. A handful of times I've become aware of the fact that I'm hallucinating before the hallucinations stop but this is rare.

For the last couple months, these hallucinations have been instead triggering a fight response. I'll lurch out of bed attacking a phantom that isn't there. I've hit things near my bed, and swung at a concrete wall hard enough that I'm lucky not to have broken my hand. I have a sleep study coming up because my doctor suspects sleep apnea, but god if I'm not terrified that a nurse is gonna come to wake me up and I'm gonna absolutely clobber her. Obviously I'll mention the hallucinations but I wouldn't be surprised if they don't take me seriously.

Click to expand...

They'll take you seriously if you tell them, "You need to be aware. I'm probably going to wake up swinging. So either stand back... or... something. I'm not joking."

Ain't nobody looking to get hit. And you'll probably learn the names of 2-3 psychiatrists during this conversation.

If you wanted to be super low rent about it Haus, roofie her coffee with an antihistamine. Or get her liqoured up while saying, "Hey, use it or lose it, right?"

That is very good news, but surgery is still surgery. And a kidney is still a kidney. The anxiety problem sounds short term and anti-depressants do take a while to become effective. I expect just talking to her (personally or more clinically a professional) would be as much help as medicating her. She's stressed out and has cause to be. But maybe she would feel better taking a pill. Everybody's different.

But obviously the immediate problem is not sleeping.

Iannis_sl said:

They'll take you seriously if you tell them, "You need to be aware. I'm probably going to wake up swinging. So either stand back... or... something. I'm not joking."

Ain't nobody looking to get hit. And you'll probably learn the names of 2-3 psychiatrists during this conversation.

Click to expand...

I mean what's really fucked up is that this has been going on for years and it never bothered me much, I just thought of it as being related to dreaming. Once I found out that the condition is actually called 'blah blah hallucinations' it started to really bug the shit out of me. And yeah I guess if you're dreaming while you're awake it's called hallucinations but I never really thought of it that way. The knowledge that you hallucinate at certain times really starts to undermine you. If I can hallucinate under X condition, maybe I can hallucinate under any condition. If I can have visual hallucinations, why can't I have auditory hallucinations? I hear shit all the time, maybe some of it is just my brain and not the creaky house.

While thinking about that I also considered the ramifications of frequently being put into a fight or flight state, and once I thought about it, I realized that bugged the shit out of me too. I mean it's basically an out of body experience for a few seconds every time it happens, and I find the idea of my body being governed by instinct instead of reason, for however short a period of time, to be something I can't stand. I'm wound pretty fucking tight, and while I don't feel a need to control my environment, the idea of being out of my own control horrifies me.

That sounds absolutely horrifying man. I hope you can get that sorted out.

Don't know where else to put this.

I mentioned earlier in the thread here that my Mom had pretty bad colon cancer. It's been a rough couple of months for her, but she's finally found peace, I hope. She's being interred tomorrow at the National Cemetery here in St. Louis with military honors. Rest in peace, Momma.

Sorry for your loss Gravy. FUCK CANCER

Hopefully this:

Polio to treat cancer? Scott Pelley reports on Duke clinical trial - CBS News


ends up evening the playing field some for future sufferers.

Sorry for your loss Gravy.

Yes indeed, fuck cancer.

At least a couple of months was enough time for her to prepare and for you to prepare, but not quite enough time yet for it to become hopelessly miserable. Plenty enough time for it to get rough, but hopefully not truly miserable. But I mean at least you had time and some warning. Ain't nothing good about it, but maybe that's the least shitty.

Life is change. Don't tighten down on mourning. Does no good, only harm.

Thanks, fellas. The ceremony was awesome; they did a 21-gun salute for her, and a great flag ceremony. She would have been very pleased.

Damn that does sound really nice. Very happy to hear it was a fantastic ceremony. It doesn't 'fix' things but man it sure does help take the edge off.