Health Problems

Gravy · Jul 18, 2015

Iannis_sl said:
That experience sort of changed my mind about Death with Dignity tbh. If you were staring at that for every day for the rest of your life. Yeah...

I've totally got my escape route planned out to the last detail. These last two years have really fucked with me. Chronic joint pain (pretty much all of them) and constant anxiety about my more than occasional arrhythmia is a pretty shitty way to go through life. I know there are people worse off than me, but the chronic pain makes every day drag by like you're living in Oklahoma.

Woefully Inept · Jul 18, 2015

Wow like Oklahoma? That does sound horrific!

Woefully Inept · Jul 20, 2015

I'm home now and besides bad gas pain and s badly swollen perineum from my bowels still waking up and bring constipated.
I have s drain in since when they removed the 12cm tumor it left a huge hole. This thing was draining a ton the first couple days. Very dark opaque red. It is slower and more clear now.
Anyway I can't deal with recovery with the drain and recovering from having the swelling drained. I gotta weather the storm till this thing is out. Until then I've got an ice pack on my taint.
I have a visiting nurse and I will bring it up with her. She's coming Thursday.

Gavinmad · Jul 20, 2015

Thanks for helping me put things in perspective.

Picasso3 · Jul 20, 2015

Is your butt the drain or did they give you an additional one?

Noodleface · Jul 20, 2015

Tred you are a stronger man than I, good luck with recovery. Can't imagine having a young kid AND going through that.

Woefully Inept · Jul 20, 2015

No the drain isn't near my butt. It's in my abdomen where the tumor was.

Woefully Inept · Jul 20, 2015

Yeah noodle and my wife is having a post partum episode right now too. Apparently I think she's a bad mother and crazy. And I only care about helping myself and not her. Well I hurt.myself bouncing our 3m old son on the yoga ball. I was desperate to let her sleep but wasn't successful. She scared me last night. The pain was just from gas pain pressure I didn't blow anything out. Just incredibly bloated.
Working with her counselor to try and help her. But man she's talking divorce tone right now. I know this isn't her and she hasn't slept and she is stressed by so many things. And foolishly she stopped and anti depressant without consulting her doctors. It's a total shit show right now.

Gavinmad · Jul 20, 2015

Tred_sl said:
And foolishly she stopped and anti depressant without consulting her doctors. It's a total shit show right now.

Tell her you don't feel like doing some part of your post-op therapy anymore and you don't feel like talking to the doctor about it.

Woefully Inept · Jul 20, 2015

Well I have spoken to here counselor but new stuff has come up and I'm trying to speak to her again. I have full confidence that she will be able to help her and us.

Gavinmad · Jul 20, 2015

I mean, obviously you don't play brinksmanship with someone suffering from depression, much less the mother of your children.

But its funny to joke about.

Noodleface · Jul 20, 2015

Damn, glad my wife doesn't get that. She makes me go to bed so she can care for little man overnight. Kind of shitty things for her to say to a dude in your position though.

Woefully Inept · Jul 20, 2015

Yeah they are shitty things but this is so far from how she would normally rationally act. It's hard as hell but I can't blame her and I know when she comes around she is going to feel devastated. I'm looking forward to her coming around but I am not looking forward to seeing that happen. It's going to be difficult.
She was worried about me, she was terrified to take care of Nolan alone while I was in the hospital, and there were a few other big things she's been worried about. She hadn't stayed up to take care of him at night and he is incredibly easy at night. Wake up, eat, fall immediately to sleep but she is a serious serious thinker/worrier when it comes to stress. She was doing really good but she should not have stopped those meds. She's slowly thawing a bit right now and I think Wednesday's appointment should help good.
And yeah Gavin I knew you were joking but man my joke-o-meter is out of order right now. lol

Edit: OK I think she's starting to actually calm her nerves. She's letting me help prepare his bottles with out scowling or fuming. And I asked for a hug and we had a nice one. I'm OK with slow and steady progress.

Oldbased · Jul 21, 2015

So my grandmother ( who is 89 and in bad health prior ) went in for a colonwhatever it is a 17 days ago and they found a large growth which turned out to be cancer. They operated and thought it all went well. 2 days later she had internal bleeding and they had to open her back up again. Next day she started developing a infection, which she got from the hospital. Then the wound starting getting infected and they had to open it again to clean it but by this time she started getting septic and became septic shock. They removed her pacemaker and left the wound open and weening her off ventilator even though she was able to look at me and nod her head to questions and answers. I'm assuming my mom and aunt had a lot of play in this but is it common to just let someone like that die? I'm told it'll be hours or days at the most.

Maybe it is a hopeless situation, but I wasn't aware it was ok to do this like this. He BP is high and her resting heart rate was in the 120's when I was up there but it seems odd to me to remove the pacemaker and leave the wound open like that, unless as I am assuming it was no chance to survive anyways as my aunt put it.

Just seems a horrible way to go.

iannis · Jul 21, 2015

That does sound like a miserable way to go. But she does have her two daughters. It could be worse.

We really can't second guess the doctors or surgeons involved with her care. You, your mom, and your aunt maybe can.

It sounds very much like she's reached the point where if they touch her again she'll die of it, though. So what might look like just giving up is actually a decision to avoid further actions which have a high likelyhood of killing her. Not that that is any more emotionally satisfying.

It's not like the hospital shows where everyone takes these big dramatic actions while screaming, "Don't die on me!!". It's pretty much exactly the opposite. So yeah, I guess that's kind of the most common way to die in the hospital, because the doctors think the only thing they can do is make it worse. And sometimes that's true.

Woefully Inept · Jul 21, 2015

Hey kuriin any tips for a swollen taint? Been using an ice pack that has helped a little. I know I need to see a doctor for it but I'm trying to get out of this damn gas pain phase of recovery and getting this drain taken out.

moontayle · Jul 21, 2015

Just found out my dad is in the hospital for liver problems. Years of drinking and a decade of Lithium use (for Bi-polar) caught up to him. Finding out more later.

Oldbased · Jul 21, 2015

Found out more about granny today. The reason the doctors gave up is she is still bleeding internally and they cannot stop it, especially with infection. Shitty deal. She is about the only one who helped me when in need too. Going to be a bad heart week for me I can already tell.

Frenzied Wombat · Jul 21, 2015

Olebass_sl said:
So my grandmother ( who is 89 and in bad health prior ) went in for a colonwhatever it is a 17 days ago and they found a large growth which turned out to be cancer. They operated and thought it all went well. 2 days later she had internal bleeding and they had to open her back up again. Next day she started developing a infection, which she got from the hospital. Then the wound starting getting infected and they had to open it again to clean it but by this time she started getting septic and became septic shock. They removed her pacemaker and left the wound open and weening her off ventilator even though she was able to look at me and nod her head to questions and answers. I'm assuming my mom and aunt had a lot of play in this but is it common to just let someone like that die? I'm told it'll be hours or days at the most.

Maybe it is a hopeless situation, but I wasn't aware it was ok to do this like this. He BP is high and her resting heart rate was in the 120's when I was up there but it seems odd to me to remove the pacemaker and leave the wound open like that, unless as I am assuming it was no chance to survive anyways as my aunt put it.

Just seems a horrible way to go.

Having seen way too many family members die of cancer, it's always a horrible way to go, bottom line. Literally weeks to months of wasting away, incontinence, vomiting, labored breathing, and morphine induced raving/hallucinations. You may feel that the by-product of her operation is a bad way to go, but trust me when I say that if she was to die of the cancer itself-- the pain, suffering, and most of all duration, would be far worse..

I've seen so many people die of cancer now it's become my worst nightmare. I literally now interpret every pain to be cancer and my doc thinks I should see a shrink about my "carcinophobia". The image of someone in the final throes of cancer stick with you forever.. Fuck Cancer.

Gavinmad · Jul 21, 2015

Olebass_sl said:
Found out more about granny today. The reason the doctors gave up is she is still bleeding internally and they cannot stop it, especially with infection. Shitty deal. She is about the only one who helped me when in need too. Going to be a bad heart week for me I can already tell.

The infection + her age is the problem. Something vaguely similar happened with my 94 year old grandmother where she was diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukemia and there was nothing they could really do to treat it due to her age. Thankfully she didn't really suffer, just abruptly faded away a couple weeks after christmas.

I assume they pulled the pacemaker because it was likely to cause her distress/speed up her passing with all her other problems going on.

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