Jupiter Ascending (2015)

  • Guest, it's time once again for the massively important and exciting FoH Asshat Tournament!



    Go here and give us your nominations!
    Who's been the biggest Asshat in the last year? Give us your worst ones!

The Edge

Lord Nagafen Raider
763
262
Reviews are like just about every other Wachowski movie. Either people love it or they think it's the worst thing ever. Nothing new.

I tend to love all their movies, so I'll be seeing this as well.

For me, they can't go wrong. I loved all 3 Matrix films, V for Vendetta, Speed Racer, Ninja Assassin, and Cloud Atlas.

If they're pissing off half the critics, it seems to be a good sign.
 

Gavinmad

Mr. Poopybutthole
43,922
52,666
Wait, Ninja Assassin was a Wachowski movie? Cause that movie was fucking terrible. Like so terrible that it went all the way back around into something I really enjoyed watching.
 

Itzena_sl

shitlord
4,609
6
That's pretty much what I'm expecting with this one, tbh. Cheesy B-movie bad, not funnel molten lead into my ear canal until my brain cooks bad.
 

Szlia

Member
6,634
1,376
Wait, Ninja Assassin was a Wachowski movie? Cause that movie was fucking terrible. Like so terrible that it went all the way back around into something I really enjoyed watching.
Ninja Assassin and V for Vendetta are produced by the Wachowskis. Not written nor directed by them.
 

ohkcrlho

Silver Baronet of the Realm
6,906
8,943
Wait, Ninja Assassin was a Wachowski movie? Cause that movie was fucking terrible. Like so terrible that it went all the way back around into something I really enjoyed watching.
Wait...he loved matrix 2 and 3??!!!
 

Chris

Potato del Grande
19,656
-10,600
I think that Milus Kunis looks a little too... erm... I can't quite put it into words. Conventional slightly whorish bimbo type? Like Megan Fox without the disfigurement. I know she is probably really cool and a huge nerd, but she looks the opposite.

It doesn't feel right for this type of film? Lead of a sci fi film should look like she has gone to university or could lead a sports team. I know this may be coming across as "knees too sharp" but I actually REALLY like her.
 

Cantatus

Lord Nagafen Raider
1,437
79
I think that Milus Kunis looks a little too... erm... I can't quite put it into words. Conventional slightly whorish bimbo type? Like Megan Fox without the disfigurement. I know she is probably really cool and a huge nerd, but she looks the opposite.
I hate to say it, but I really have a hard time taking her seriously because of her voice. Perhaps it's from all the years of watching her on That 70's Show and hearing her on Family Guy, but there's sort of a cartoonish quality to the way she speaks. It works really well when she's in a comedy, but it's hard for for me to rectify it with her trying to be dramatic. It's like if Anton Chigurh had Bugs Bunny's voice.
 

Drinsic

privileged excrementlord
5,817
6,260
Isn't he also the faggot that loved the Star Wars prequels? Ignore his opinions.
 

zombiewizardhawk

Potato del Grande
9,982
12,932
Settle down homies, I liked all three Matrix movies too (except for the zion parts, watching a sci-fi action movie is not when i'm interesting in a 40 minute cutscene to a fucking giant orgy). That shit was almost as stupid as the unnecessarily long rape scene in Last House on the Left.
 

Zzen

Potato del Grande
2,900
3,600
Settle down homies, I liked all three Matrix movies too (except for the zion parts, watching a sci-fi action movie is not when i'm interesting in a 40 minute cutscene to a fucking giant orgy). That shit was almost as stupid as the unnecessarily long rape scene in Last House on the Left.
Liking the Matrix sequels isn't normal.

But on meth it is.
 

Column_sl

shitlord
9,833
7
Matrix 2 was fine imho. Easily one of the best Highway chases ever filmed, and most of the film is pretty much action all the way through with a huge reveal at the end that there was a second matrix.

Matrix 3 on the other hand was a forced Jesus dies for our sins type of deal that was not only lazy, but a colossal let down. They could have gone a less cliche route.

As gay as Jupiter looks I will still check it out on a torrent at least. Still a huge fan of their directing style.

Wish they would Partner up with DC or Marvel tho, since they started as comic book writers.
Hell, I bet they would do one amazing Star Wars one shot movie.
 

spronk

FPS noob
23,490
27,460
yeah i liked matrix 2, it wasn't quite as good as the first one but merovingian, bellucci, the ghost twins, the highway scenes, zion scenes, etc were all pretty cool - dont remember if the rave sex scene was in 2 or 3, that was pretty stupid. matrix 3 just had too much stupid shit and very few neat things, and the bad stuff was really, really, really bad

i also liked parts of cloud atlas, especially future korea, but the makeup stuff and most of the rest of the story was complete pig shit. it was ambitious, i'll give it that. i'll definitely see JA at home in 4 months, and i'll feel sad for the wachowskis when it bombs in theaters

they do have a TV show coming to Netflix this year or next co-created by the guy who created Babylon 5, called Sense8 and it sounds a bit like Almost Human. I'm looking forward to that
 

The Ancient_sl

shitlord
7,386
16
I thought the Sentinel Snake was pretty badass. I also think watching AniMatrix really helped my enjoyment of the 3 films, it ties some loose ends together very nicely.
 

Column_sl

shitlord
9,833
7
Theres also the game that is after matrix 2 and before matrix 3 which helps you understand more of the story. Unfortunately, nothing can save the last movie
 

The Ancient_sl

shitlord
7,386
16
That game sucked though, and what it added in story was mostly dumb subplot with the crew of the Logos. The AniMatrix fleshed out the world a lot.