Jupiter Ascending (2015)
- Thread starter Qhue
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Guest, it's time once again for the massively important and exciting FoH Asshat Tournament!
Go here and give us your nominations!Who's been the biggest Asshat in the last year? Give us your worst ones!
Selix
Lord Nagafen Raider
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- 4
Although I understand where you are coming from that is still the default ending format for American movies.
Mahes
Bronze Baronet of the Realm
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- 6,546
The movie was ...ok. I enjoyed the effects but as many have noted, it went way to fast. There were a lot of details that could have used more explanation. If a person had not watched movies before, this movie might have been really good. The problem I had was that I had a hard time separating other movies from this one. Cinderella was the obvious plot line with Lord Voldemort as the ultimate bad guy. The ending was way to goody goody sweet. The effects reminded me of another Disney movie that also bombed hard at the theaters called John Carter. I liked that story more than this one, but if you liked Cinderella and want to see that story twisted into a Space Opera, then you will enjoy this movie.
Nester
Vyemm Raider
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Jait
Molten Core Raider
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I like campy sci-fi. I love shitty Sci-Fi. LEXX, Farscape, Chronicles of Riddick, I was hoping and expecting this would be along those lines.
Fucks sake, Chronicles of Riddick is The Godfather compared to this piece of shit. These guys just do not know how to make movies. I think it's the casting as much as anything, in each of their films they cast it all wrong. Even the Matrix was supposed to be Will Smith and Sean Connery. Had that happened as planned it might of bombed too.
Mila Kunis is just awful. Awful.
Fucks sake, Chronicles of Riddick is The Godfather compared to this piece of shit. These guys just do not know how to make movies. I think it's the casting as much as anything, in each of their films they cast it all wrong. Even the Matrix was supposed to be Will Smith and Sean Connery. Had that happened as planned it might of bombed too.
Mila Kunis is just awful. Awful.
Saw it, yeah it was very bad. Still, like all of the movies they direct, it was worth seeing just for the cinematography. It was a beautiful film, horrible story. The actors all phoned in their performance to collect a paycheck.
Mila Kunis and Channing Tatum should stick with what made them famous. Sean Bean wasn't even any good. Also
As far as the Wachowski brothers, i really enjoyed Cloud Atlas. They won't get to make too many more films if none of them make money.
Mila Kunis and Channing Tatum should stick with what made them famous. Sean Bean wasn't even any good. Also
He didn't Die
As far as the Wachowski brothers, i really enjoyed Cloud Atlas. They won't get to make too many more films if none of them make money.
Furious
Ahn'Qiraj Raider
- 2,950
- 5,026
Cybsled
Naxxramas 1.0 Raider
- 17,204
- 13,755
Speaking of which, we need them to make more Farscape ;_; Although the dude who voiced Rygel died, so that sucks.
Vaclav
Bronze Baronet of the Realm
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The Edge
Lord Nagafen Raider
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- 262
Just got back from seeing it in IMAX 3D with the girlfriend. Coming from someone who LOVES everything Wachowski, I didn'tlovethis. I liked it. Liked it a lot even. There were times that it seemed it was going to step into great territory, but didn't. I left wanting more. Girlfriend said she enjoyed it, but said it was too short. She left disappointed. Things went by too quickly. I agree. 2 hours was not enough.
I honestly don't get the hate though. I liked all the characters. The acting was fine. The hate for the main villain's acting is unfounded and extremist. I feel like people just like to jump on the bandwagon cuz it's cool to trash things. People are too quick to shout "worst movie ever" because it's fun to say.
Honest, non extremist review:
7/10
Good, not great.
Classic Sci-Fi
Boots were cool.
I honestly don't get the hate though. I liked all the characters. The acting was fine. The hate for the main villain's acting is unfounded and extremist. I feel like people just like to jump on the bandwagon cuz it's cool to trash things. People are too quick to shout "worst movie ever" because it's fun to say.
Honest, non extremist review:
7/10
Good, not great.
Classic Sci-Fi
Boots were cool.
I didn't read a single review before watching it or posting my hatred for it. Heaven forbid someone have an opinion. Stupid extremist opinions ...
The Edge
Lord Nagafen Raider
- 763
- 262
I mean really?Thisis the worst movie you have EVER seen? Either you're lying, haven't seen that many movies, or are being sensationalistic and extreme.
Or it is an opinion based on avoiding known really bad movies and really feeling this was terrible.
Let us ignore the plot for a second and just go into the filming. You saw it in 3D you said. Have you seen a lot of movies that way? When you do cut and edit any movie you want the transition from scene to scene to be smooth. You can do this matching color palettes. Your eyes have to focus quickly for 3D so you need to be especially careful. This movie jumped from bright white to orange and then to dark black and all kinds of colors from scene to scene and not smoothly. It was jarring and distracting, the filming itself was fine it was the transitions.
The visuals of the ships were beyond ridiculous and space opera masturbation at best. Statues on the external part of the ship? A wedding chapel at the tip top of a spaceship? A cell with a grate over the top of it?
The weaponry was beyond stupid. A device that can put a hole in a wall temporarily like a portal but when it closes a body part like a neck isn't cut it is instead formed around yet the creature dies? Weapons that have minor shockwaves but it kills some things with its blast but not a main character, just stuns him. Hover bikes that can cloak but for some reason while sneaking up on somebody two different times you randomly uncloak for no reason, did you get some bugs on the windshield? A military squad genetically engineered or implanted with actual wings that also can be identified by their anti-grav boots, which is the true hero the wings or the boots. One is just extra fluff to advance a stupid plot line.
Now the plot, insanely stupid. All the "aliens" are just spliced humans with random animals ... except two. Why those two? Because they need something ugly and they needed one to look like "aliens" to explain abductions. They have MIB blankers which they obviously use on her family but don't erase her from their memory? So she can clean toilets and do it happily now? The siblings are white/grey/black in their evilness, how trite. She visits them in that order like a checklist. She is "the" queen? richest person in the richest family in the galaxy at the least but has to walk herself through galactic DMV?
The hodgepodge semi-steampunk tech just ruined it on top of it all.
RobXIII
Urinal Cake Consumption King
- 3,887
- 2,308
While I enjoyed the movie for what it was, I did actually laugh out loud every time the 'main villain' was doing his lines. The hoarse voice, the cheesy lines/acting, and the god-awful super zooming in on his mouth was just too damn funny. The camera work for that was identical to the terrible Smallville Zod episodes, where they would basically zoom in far enough on the villains mouth for me to count his fillings. ugh
No, it wasn't just you bro. This movie looked awful from the trailers. When the trailers make the movie look bad, you know how bad it's going to be. Also, like someone else said, the Edge liked it, so it means unless you're mentally challenged or in a coma, it's a really bad film.