Jupiter Ascending (2015)

Drinsic · Feb 9, 2015

The Edge_sl said:
Just got back from seeing it in IMAX 3D with the girlfriend. Coming from someone who LOVES everything Wachowski, I didn'tlovethis. I liked it. Liked it a lot even. There were times that it seemed it was going to step into great territory, but didn't. I left wanting more. Girlfriend said she enjoyed it, but said it was too short. She left disappointed. Things went by too quickly. I agree. 2 hours was not enough.

I honestly don't get the hate though. I liked all the characters. The acting was fine. The hate for the main villain's acting is unfounded and extremist. I feel like people just like to jump on the bandwagon cuz it's cool to trash things. People are too quick to shout "worst movie ever" because it's fun to say.

Honest, non extremist review:

7/10

Good, not great.

Classic Sci-Fi

Boots were cool.

Better or worse than Attack of the Clones?

Hoss · Feb 9, 2015

Rogosh_sl said:
I really don't get the negative vibes on this movie. I really enjoyed this movie even with a slow middle and an ending that left me wanting more of an explanation.

Saw it yesterday because we weren't in the mood for a war movie, and there was nothing else worth watching. It wasn't terrible, but it wasn't very good either. I agree with you that I wanted more of an explanation. I asked earlier in the thread if this movie was a sequel to something. After watching it, I was thinking it probably would have been better as a sequel. There's too much in this universe that needed to be set up.

Oh and one line could have made this movie good. Any kind of peanut butter reference while they were having that picnic on the roof would have been epic.

kaid · Feb 9, 2015

Furious_sl said:
Im glad im not the only person to think this. Tuco net for you Jait.

And it does not help that she is a totally useless damsel in distress the entire damn movie. I don't think any woman playing that role would have wound up being very likable.

The Edge · Feb 9, 2015

Drinsic_sl said:
Better or worse than Attack of the Clones?

Worse

Homsar · Feb 9, 2015

its crazy that the creators of The matrix have just made garbage ever since. i wonder what v for vendetta would have been like if they directed

Agraza · Feb 9, 2015

Speed Racer was amazing.

Drinsic · Feb 9, 2015

The Edge_sl said:
Worse

There you go. This dipshit believes Episode 2 was > 7/10. This movie is objectively fucking terrible.

Phazael · Feb 9, 2015

As a connoisseur of bad sci-fi movies, I am actually now curious to see this movie. I want to see how bad it could possibly be. But there is no way it can be worst of all time (discounting obvious shitty movies with low production), even among sci-fi movies. But based on the Wachowski's recent track record I bet it has to be high in the running for worst of the decade. I can rattle off several movies with high production values (or at least budgets) that I feel I am safe are saying are a lot worse than this one (Congo, Waterworld, Street Fighter, Catwoman, Lady in the Water, Batman and Robin, Final Fantasy Spirits Within, Gigli, Ishtar, ect). Though money made is not an indicator of a good or bad movie (see 13th Warrior), at least it will banish these guys to the land of Shamalamadingdong, aka the filmmakers who had one or two good ideas and then shit all over the industry after that.

Wife made me go to see a movie and it was a choice between this and Seventh Son (she was bored and wanted to just get out of the house) and we chose the latter. As "meh" as Seventh Son was (and it was a very solid 4/10), I am happy we chose that one because making Lebowski jokes at least made it entertaining. Hearing how bad this movie is, though, I sort of want to see it for the pure masochism alone.

The Edge · Feb 9, 2015

Drinsic_sl said:
There you go. This dipshit believes Episode 2 was > 7/10. This movie is objectively fucking terrible.

Attack of the Clones: 7.5

Phazael · Feb 9, 2015

If Lucas took a shit in a box and put a picture of a wookie on the front of it would you buy it, Edge?

The Edge · Feb 9, 2015

The wittiness here is remarkable. I'm thoroughly impressed.

Drinsic · Feb 9, 2015

The Edge_sl said:
Attack of the Clones: 7.5

That's about 7.5 points too high to maintain any credibility when reviewing movies.

Sterling · Feb 9, 2015

Drinsic_sl said:
That's about 7.5 points too high to maintain any credibility when reviewing movies.

Maybe he does it on a 1-25 scale.

Drinsic · Feb 9, 2015

If that was the case I would maybe give him a pass for just being a retarded George Lucas dickchugger.

The Edge · Feb 9, 2015

Drinsic_sl said:
That's about 7.5 points too high to maintain any credibility when reviewing movies.

Do you work for Fox News?

Skewing the results all to one side like that is so disingenuous. Do you think it's funny, or cute? It detracts from people whom are actually looking for a serious answer. Do think it makes you more credible by stating a movie deserves 0/10? Have you actually stopped to think what a 0/10 movie would be like? If you think ANY of the Star Wars movies come anywhere close to that, you are delusional.

Drinsic · Feb 9, 2015

The difference here is any mildly intelligent human would detect sarcasm in my response. On the other hand, you legitimately defend Jar Jar Binks and believe the film deserves a 7.5.

Famm · Feb 9, 2015

Phazael_sl said:
I can rattle off several movies with high production values (or at least budgets) that I feel I am safe are saying are a lot worse than this one (Congo, Waterworld, Street Fighter, Catwoman, Lady in the Water, Batman and Robin, Final Fantasy Spirits Within, Gigli, Ishtar, ect).

Not that it was a great movie but I always thought Waterworld got a little too much shit due to all the publicity around it being horribly overbudget and overschedule.

The Edge · Feb 9, 2015

Drinsic_sl said:
The difference here is any mildly intelligent human would detect sarcasm in my response. On the other hand, you legitimately defend Jar Jar Binks and believe the film deserves a 7.5.

Falling back on sarcasm because you can't stand your ground. You're like that kid that gets called out for his bullshit and then sheepishly grins "nah guys, I was just playin."

a_skeleton_03 · Feb 9, 2015

The Edge_sl said:
Falling back on sarcasm because you can't stand your ground. You're like that kid that gets called out for his bullshit and then sheepishly grins "nah guys, I was just playin."

Then maybe you can dismantle my actual critique of the movie.

Famm · Feb 9, 2015

Edge, could you rate the three Matrix movies for us please?

Jupiter Ascending (2015)

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