I'm almost at the breaking point of my marriage. It sucks to type that out because we haven't even been married for even 2 years and have a 9 month old. A lot of our problems stemmed from my alcohol use/abuse over the course of our marriage. I stopped drinking 2 months ago yet we still have the same problems as before. Now it seems like my drinking wasn't even something that was causing a rift between us or making us argue. My wife is so sensitive to the littlest things. Like a normal person, I would assume, when I post pictures of her or my daughter on facebook and I then like someone's photo in return to be nice. My wife doesn't quite see it like that. If you like a picture of someone you haven't seen in 13 years with their kid, apparently you are checking out some cleavage and you are definitely trying to hook up with that person. After that, you aren't going to be talked to even after apologizing for something that really isn't a big deal and really isn't worth an argument considering the person she is accusing you of having future carnal knowledge of. If you make the wrong joke, an hour after you get home from work during dinner when watching a television show, she's likely to lock up into the same kind of behavior. Not a belittling or personal joke that could be taken realistically in any normal part of the civilized world mind you. I continue to find myself at the shit end of the stick of our marriage and I'm always the one who has to apologize for usually nothing that needs apologizing for. I'm not saying I'm half-heartedly apologizing for this stuff, I'm legit taking blame for things that piss her off, make her mad, and generally makes her upset that I am not responsible for.
Since I've stopped drinking, my plan was to pay down some debt that I've accrued. I paid down quite a bit of debt within the first month. $600 worth or so I'd say but it mysteriously disappeared until I started checking the statements. My wife would spend $100-200 without telling me out of our debit and then our credit and since I had recently stopped drinking I just let it slide. It wasn't a big deal because I had been spending at least $400 every 2 weeks just on alcohol. I did some really dumb shit when I was drinking, but so did she. The majority of it was me though. Did you know if you were short on money in your checking and you have a best buy credit card you can buy gift cards for your own personal use up to $250 with your credit card? Yea, that was a bad look and I never used the card like that, but for me to even know that can let you in on how bad my problem has been. Anyways, that $600 I put towards a better cause for our debt (or my debt situation since she doesn't have any credit) just completely fell apart and put me into a fuck it mode.
My wife, who is 30, I am 31, talks to her mother every day. I don't go into my wife's phone, though she goes into mine, but I am certain that the two of them talk 2-4 times a day for at least 5-30 minutes each time if not more. I talk to my mom maybe twice a week just to see how things are going. We are a military family so we live 9 hours away from our parents. There has been times when I've been home and I've heard my wife exaggerating the truth on our arguments on the phone with her mom, yet if I ever turn to my parents for just someone to talk to besides a nagging wife I'm bombarded with allegations that they are too much in our business. My parents have never been in the business of remarking on anything that goes on in my marriage. They helped us get furniture when we bought our home and have helped us out financially over the past year and a half a lot.
When our daughter was born, my parents and my wife's mom came to visit for a week. Everything was great until the day everyone was leaving. My wife made it her prerogative to confront my mom about giving our daughter kisses on the forehead/cheeks. She did so in a manner that she expected me to back her up like that is frowned upon not to back up your wife on certain matters, etc. Really, if your parents want to give their grandkids a kiss that is totally fine in my opinion. But it got the point where my mom left back on her 9 hr trip crying because my wife was being the most gigantic bitch I've seen her be to date about it. I had to call my mom and talk her into apologizing to my wife even though it wasn't her fault just to save the future relationship that they might have and my mom agreed. I told her that my wife is just someone that cannot lose an argument and you have to be the bigger person with. Nonetheless, the first time that I had even seen my mom in 9 months and she leaves crying because my wife is so confrontational and can never be wrong and never apologize like a normal person left me on edge.
Her mom stayed for a few days after that and kept trying to tell me that the marriage is between the husband and wife and not the parents. She was saying we should just not speak to our parents at all if it was that big of a deal in our marriage. Yet, she was trying to tell me how I should get back on my wife's side the whole while. I'm sorry, but that is a load of shit. My parents and her parents have been in my life and hers for 30+ years and they've provided us with a majority of what we know and how to interact in certain situations and you're telling me that we need to stop talking to our parents and having them involved in our lives when we just had our first kid? Get the fuck out of Dodge.
At this point, I'm just mad and I don't even know where the rest of this is going. My wife watches the baby at home on the weekdays while I'm at work and goes to school on the weekend. Her last weekend at school is this weekend. After that, she has to find something to do on the weekends. I've bought her a nice camera in the past couple of months (to start doing photography) and me being in the military has afforded her the opportunity to go to school and get certified in what she wants to do and start free-lance work after this weekend for free. When I come home to her mad at me over some petty shit that she won't talk to me about no matter how cordial I am or how hard I try to correct it, I start to get to a place where I don't see the point to continue to try to rectify the problems in our marriage. She left and went back home in March for a week without telling or talking to me...Taking the baby overnight while sleepy on a 10 hour drive and just left me here without knowing what the fuck was going on and not communicating with me about if they made it there safely or not.
My guess is that her day to day Mon-Fri is watching every reality TV show/Court Show/Snapped Show(How Someone Was Murdered by their Spouse) that she can fit into her schedule outside of feeding and changing our daughter. I really feel like I'm at my breaking point and ready to say fuck it.
P.S. Sorry, I'm just really mad. My money is all fucked up and my wife keeps spending what we don't have and I simply can't talk to her about it. We've been to counseling and she's really smart. I'm too nice to tell the truth in a 2 on 1 interview with a counselor. I just don't see how our marriage makes it for another year so I had to spill the beans here just to get it off of my chest.