Maybe I'm the wrong person to give any advice given my problems. Your problems seem a lot like mine though. Chances are you don't piss in closets or on random appliances in a kitchen after hours of playing a video game. I know where you are coming from though, especially now. My cousin was one of the top 2 warriors in EQ before he quit because he was going to lose absolutely everything. To me, losing everything includes your kids, family, house, whatever kind of something you have any equity in. He had to stop playing video games altogether. I mean to get to the point that you are the 2nd best warrior in EverQuest back in it's hayday...you gotta be putting in some hours.
You seem kind of like me and I'lll have to go back and read over everything but sometimes people just marry the wrong person. I may have done that myself, but I think it's something that you have to work out and try to talk out until it's something that can't improve any further. Once that happens, you seem like a smart person, you just gotta figure everything out from there. That is no easy task I know, but if there is any room at all to patch things up and you have seen in the past or can see now some kind of future that allows you to do everything as a husband and father that you wan to accomplish in life then by all means try to repair what you can. Sometimes you just can't though. If that's the case just do the best that you can to be positive and irritate the situation with any anger you might have about it. I got nothing beyond that, but I think you will make the best decision on your own anyways and it shouldn't be too hard to go from there once you get accustomed to whatever you got planned out for your next move and you start working on that.