Marriage and the Power of Divorce

Cad

scientia potentia est
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Her grandmother gave her the car a few years ago, after she totaled her last car that was given to her by her mother. Before that she was given $30k and bought a scion brand new off the lot, which she totaled.

Everything she has was given to her.
Ok. Thats a pretty interesting situation you've fucked yourself up with there. I don't even know what I'd tell you to do in that situation, any action has consequences and risks.

You could: a> move away and go back with your mom/friends/whomever and get a new job and save some scratch and get yourself right
b> stay near your kids and likely be homeless/penniless for a long time while she teaches them to hate you anyways

Neither one of those is a great option.
 

Big Phoenix

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Maybe I'm the wrong person to give any advice given my problems. Your problems seem a lot like mine though. Chances are you don't piss in closets or on random appliances in a kitchen after hours of playing a video game. I know where you are coming from though, especially now. My cousin was one of the top 2 warriors in EQ before he quit because he was going to lose absolutely everything. To me, losing everything includes your kids, family, house, whatever kind of something you have any equity in. He had to stop playing video games altogether. I mean to get to the point that you are the 2nd best warrior in EverQuest back in it's hayday...you gotta be putting in some hours.

You seem kind of like me and I'lll have to go back and read over everything but sometimes people just marry the wrong person. I may have done that myself, but I think it's something that you have to work out and try to talk out until it's something that can't improve any further. Once that happens, you seem like a smart person, you just gotta figure everything out from there. That is no easy task I know, but if there is any room at all to patch things up and you have seen in the past or can see now some kind of future that allows you to do everything as a husband and father that you wan to accomplish in life then by all means try to repair what you can. Sometimes you just can't though. If that's the case just do the best that you can to be positive and irritate the situation with any anger you might have about it. I got nothing beyond that, but I think you will make the best decision on your own anyways and it shouldn't be too hard to go from there once you get accustomed to whatever you got planned out for your next move and you start working on that.
You are in the military arent you? Go see one of the thousand resources they have on base about your situation.
 

Chanur

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I know this is likely to be an unpopular opinion here but I would completely give up gaming in order to keep my kids with me. Chances are she's checked out anyway and it won't help but at least then you will know you did everything you could and not regret it later.
 

Cad

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I know this is likely to be an unpopular opinion here but I would completely give up gaming in order to keep my kids with me. Chances are she's checked out anyway and it won't help but at least then you will know you did everything you could and not regret it later.
Maybe, but I don't think gaming is the determinative factor unless you are doing some EQ poopsocking. More likely, the wife demanding he quit gaming is about control over him, not about the actual gaming.
 

Chanur

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Maybe, but I don't think gaming is the determinative factor unless you are doing some EQ poopsocking. More likely, the wife demanding he quit gaming is about control over him, not about the actual gaming.
He was talking about selling his EQ character on the progressive servers for a lot of money. I would definitely say there was some poopsocking at some point.

If it was just the wife I likely would tell her to get fucked. But your kids are a whole other situation. I went through something like this forever ago during EQ's heyday. I quit playing completely when my wife was around. We ended up splitting anyway and thankfully had no kids.

I just look at it this way, what is more important to you? Video games or having your kids. To me that is an easy decision.
 

Cad

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I just look at it this way, what is more important to you? Video games or having your kids. To me that is an easy decision.
Obviously the kids but I just think its a non-binary decision.

Buy a PS4 and game with your kids. I have fun doing this.
 

Rhuma_sl

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It's completely about control because I didnt play any games for months and the time I spent leveling on phinigel was 100% within the rules of our deal.

She is just bored of our relationship and wants something new. To do that she needs an excuse to not look like a slut.

I overheard 2 women talking on my lunch break a few weeks back that made me sick to my stomach and I'm dubious to the idea that all women are like this.

She said she really enjoys meeting guys and playing the game, she is alright in a relationship but she's only truly happy having a different guy every weekend.
 

DickTrickle

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Not all women are like that. And I think they're much less like that as they get older. How old were these women? Really though, you have to remember you have a small amount of experience. If you go painting all women with that brush, you're probably going to see them that way whether they're really like that or not.
 

Rhuma_sl

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The woman who said that was mid 30s ,other one was early 40s and she looked about as disgusted as I was.

I tried reaching out to my family today, my mom told me about a truck stop that I could shower in if I had to live in my car. I have to laugh because it's just so sad.

Anyways I found a weekly rental place that I might be able to achieve my goals with the cash I'll have. Can get into a 1br for like $460 not too far from my job, there's always trailer trash around in those places to entertain me until I can get some Internet and shit going. Maybe I'll let one suck my dick if I don't see any abrasions.

Amazon ships in pussy by the hundreds come October if nothing else.
 

Rhuma_sl

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The five stages, denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance are a part of the framework that makes up our learning to live with the one we lost.

Pretty sure I've been through all the stages or im bipolar as fuck.
 

Big Phoenix

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Sounds like your world is finally crashing. Just remember not all women are dumb fucks like this one was.
 

Lendarios

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We don't really moderate shitty opinions or advice, I don't think anyone here was trolling
We do have stricter rules on the grown up forums, regarding been an unhelpful poster, even if you are not trolling. The mods have plenty of times told people to back off, when they are just been dicks, even if they are not trolling.
 

lurkingdirk

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We do have stricter rules on the grown up forums, regarding been an unhelpful poster, even if you are not trolling. The mods have plenty of times told people to back off, when they are just been dicks, even if they are not trolling.
That is true. That is not the case here.
 

moonarchia

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Rhuma, get some legal advice ASAP. You are going to need to document everything you own, that she owns, and all that fun stuff for divorce court and family court. Do you have any siblings or a father you can turn to for support, emotional or otherwise?
 

j00t

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I have a question, bear with me... wife and I are getting divorced. Been married for 6 years and she just told me that she only married me because her son from a previous marriage needed a father. So that was great.

Anyways, we have one car, I work at an office, she works as a nanny at home and a waitress 3 nights a week. On those nights I'm home with the car before she has to leave. I'm looking for a car for me and an apartment and will have several walkthroughs and test drives this week in-between hours at work. I told her the other day that I'd like to have the car (past few weeks she's been bringing me to work so she can drop the kids off with friend go do... whatever.) She just told me that she was taking the car because she has "appointments."
Well, okay can we consolidate our plans so that we can get all our stuff done? Like schedule more than one meeting a day?

No. You're just gonna have to rent a car for the week. Maybe until you buy one

What kind of grounds do I have here? Can I make her pay for some of the rental? The car was technically a gift to her from her parents, so legally I don't have much claim to her car, but does that count as like, undue spousal hardship or something?

Help me, Grown Up Stuff, you're my only hope.
 

Palum

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I have a question, bear with me... wife and I are getting divorced. Been married for 6 years and she just told me that she only married me because her son from a previous marriage needed a father. So that was great.

Anyways, we have one car, I work at an office, she works as a nanny at home and a waitress 3 nights a week. On those nights I'm home with the car before she has to leave. I'm looking for a car for me and an apartment and will have several walkthroughs and test drives this week in-between hours at work. I told her the other day that I'd like to have the car (past few weeks she's been bringing me to work so she can drop the kids off with friend go do... whatever.) She just told me that she was taking the car because she has "appointments."
Well, okay can we consolidate our plans so that we can get all our stuff done? Like schedule more than one meeting a day?

No. You're just gonna have to rent a car for the week. Maybe until you buy one

What kind of grounds do I have here? Can I make her pay for some of the rental? The car was technically a gift to her from her parents, so legally I don't have much claim to her car, but does that count as like, undue spousal hardship or something?

Help me, Grown Up Stuff, you're my only hope.
Here's the ultimate problem: even IF you live in a community property state, the gift was to her after you were married and all that... you still need a lawyer. It's not going to mean anything by time you'd need it. Document the shit out of everything.