Marriage and the Power of Divorce

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Khane

Khane

Got something right about marriage
20,336
14,000
Jerry Springer? What are you talking about? Who doesn't want to recover nude photos of their aunt and mother for their father?
 
Noodleface

Noodleface

A Mod Real Quick
38,272
15,094
He told me he initially deleted them because he was like "what the fuck??" but then wanted to recover them to show my mother what she was doing.

So he says..
 
Kirun

Kirun

Buzzfeed Editor
19,236
15,625
Noodleface_sl said:
Figured I'd post a fucked up story for yall. Don't need advice or anything since this has little to do with me. Background is my parents divorced around 20 years ago with accusations that my father cheated. He claims he didn't still to this day. Who knows. They're both better off anyways.

So things have been weird between my parents for awhile now. Mostly my mother. In case you didn't know, she was a heavy alcoholic and drug user that attempted suicide a handful of times in the last few years. Anyways she had been calling my father a lot and trying to come to his house whenever he had cookouts or parties, he told us it really was weird. Apparently she claimed she missed him or something.

My sister had a baby shower a few weeks ago and my aunt (mom's sister) was talking to my dad a lot. I guess my mom flipped out on her, not the first time by the way. Anyways at this point we basically think my mom is just crazy.

Last week my dad asked me about recovering some messages on his phone. They were from that aunt and we're a bunch of nude photos. She also forwarded him some shaming website with nude photos of my mother. We were able to recover these messages ( I did not see them) and he contacted my mother. Now he's meeting with my mom this week because things are fucking crazy.

Im sure this is all disjointed and weird, but I have no idea what's going on.

Also that aunt is the one with typhoid and t1 diabetes and we assumed the only sane person in the family.

I feel like I'm living a jerry springer episode
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Any other details? I'm almost there.
 
Noodleface

Noodleface

A Mod Real Quick
38,272
15,094
My sister and her boyfriend are having a baby. They're both tatted up and drink dew and beers all night. Also at the time they had been dating 2 months.

How far along are you now?
 
T

Tenks

Bronze Knight of the Realm
14,163
607
Sometimes I feel like I'm an anomaly because I come from a somewhat sketchy extended family but then Noodle reminds me I had it pretty damn good
 
opiate82

opiate82

Bronze Squire
3,078
5
Tenks_sl said:
Sometimes I feel like I'm an anomaly because I come from a somewhat sketchy extended family but then Noodle reminds me I had it pretty damn good
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My family has some fucked up shit in it, but thankfully my parents are normal and we don't live near most of our extended family so I was mercifully removed from most of it and just got to enjoy hearing the stories from the other somewhat normal relatives.

Just as an example, my Grandpa married his ex-mother-in-law.
 
P

Picasso3

Silver Baronet of the Realm
11,333
5,322
Apparently I've suggested my wife like Andy samberg like 3 times and apparently she's told me every time it wasnt her and gets pissed off.


My shits not as good as noodles.
 
iannis

iannis

Musty Nester
31,351
17,656
With Picasso? He has a certain appeal, and I'm not judging, but he was recently married and I think it's still too early for him to want to stray.
 
T

Tenks

Bronze Knight of the Realm
14,163
607
Noodleface_sl said:
It's all my mother's family. They're all fucked up
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My mom's side brothers are kind of the messed up ones in my family. For the most part the males are sketchy on that side and the females are fine. It is kind of strange.

So my uncle found out his neighbor's roommate is a stripper. I don't know all about the seedy underbelly of stripping but apparently she's a private dancer for events. She gets picked up on a little mini bus along with a bunch of other strippers like 4 times a week. Well he found out she was unhappy living where she was so he offered her to move in with him (shocker.) Now my uncle has had major surgeries and his back is pretty fucked up. Somehow, despite these injuries, he managed to single handedly move all of her furniture out of her room by himself and into his condo. We're talking a king bed, dresser ... the works. She has no decided she wants to get out of the wild world of stripping and get a (her words) "classy" job. So now my uncle is taking pictures of her around his condo for whatever reason. I'm not sure what classy jobs she's apply for that require full body pictures. Anyways her stripper friends also want to get classy jobs so they're coming over to get pictures too. She says his condo (her words) "Has so many places for photo opportunities." All the while my uncle is trying to figure out how to get the job of the guy who drives around the bus and does security. He's basically acting like a teenager who got promised his first pussy and he's like 55 years old.
 
Lenas

Lenas

Trump's Staff
7,559
2,299
Don't hate on your 55 year old uncle because he's finally living his dream of photographing strippers. Maybe he posts here and he is stocking up on Rerolled tit pics.
 
BrotherWu

BrotherWu

MAGA
<Silver Donator>
3,259
6,502
If I were single and 55, my crippled back would be carrying that stripper furniture into my professional photography studio too.
 
T

Tenks

Bronze Knight of the Realm
14,163
607
My cousin is also dating an ex-stripper and my other uncle hits on her constantly at family events
 
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