Marriage and the Power of Divorce

  • Guest, it's time once again for the massively important and exciting FoH Asshat Tournament!



    Go here and give us your nominations!
    Who's been the biggest Asshat in the last year? Give us your worst ones!
Big Phoenix

Big Phoenix

Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
<Gold Donor>
46,801
99,975
What the hell is this "condom broke" excuse? I've yet to have one break or rip, even when going long and hard to the point the thing is bunching up due to the everything drying up down there.

Do you only use condoms that have been stored in a car trunk in the desert for a few years or something?
 
Noodleface

Noodleface

A Mod Real Quick
38,371
16,276
We went through a period where a bunch kept breaking on me. Best I could figure was something was going on in her parts with moistness levels or we were going too hard or something.

The thing is when the condoms broke I could instantly tell. It was like going from 25% sexually feeling on my dick to 1000%. Immediately stopped and threw a new one on.

Im glad we don't use them anymore. But.. We are married and want kids so if we aren't 100% ready but have an oopsie baby I know it will be for the best. Plus, being a dad is something I can't ever imagine not being now that I am one.
 
Izo

Izo

Tranny Chaser
19,622
23,956
Big Phoenix said:
What the hell is this "condom broke" excuse? I've yet to have one break or rip, even when going long and hard to the point the thing is bunching up due to the everything drying up down there.

Do you only use condoms that have been stored in a car trunk in the desert for a few years or something?
Click to expand...
Big dick problems.
 
  • 1Like
Reactions: 1 user
Fifey

Fifey

Trakanon Raider
2,898
962
Big Phoenix said:
What the hell is this "condom broke" excuse? I've yet to have one break or rip, even when going long and hard to the point the thing is bunching up due to the everything drying up down there.

Do you only use condoms that have been stored in a car trunk in the desert for a few years or something?
Click to expand...
I've broke a lot of condoms, it sometimes gets bunched up and just pulls enough to break. You can feel it instantly so the whole condom broke excuse is just a man who's horny enough to sign a 20 year contract.

Even with condoms you should be pulling out and laying your seed somewhere visible.
 
trex

trex

Queen Bee
1,125
825
Should probably wipe it up and dispose of it in the toilet as well. Bitches ligit cray. Especially as they get older.
 
Mario Speedwagon

Mario Speedwagon

Gold Recognition
<Prior Amod>
19,525
72,215
The only way to be safe is to run two blocks away and film yourself finishing into a condom and then emptying the condom into a storm drain.

I've only ever gotten two chicks pregnant using this method.
 
  • 6Solidarity
  • 4Like
Reactions: 9 users
Swagdaddy

Swagdaddy

There is a war going on over control of your mind
1,960
1,870
Zaara said:
Told a friend that we've been going on 10 years of pulling out as birth control, because fuck condoms. She didn't believe me (reason being her boyfriend apparently had an 'accident' the first and last time they tried it.)

Gets a bad rap because of all the assholes going 'whoops.' "Oh baby, I just couldn't help myself?" Please.
Click to expand...

first rule of pull out crew is doing ur best to not drunk fuck

it is the bane of all out pullers
 
Izo

Izo

Tranny Chaser
19,622
23,956
post-24400-Seinfeld-thats-enough-gif-nHrW.gif
 
  • 2Like
Reactions: 1 users
Crone

Crone

Bronze Baronet of the Realm
9,714
3,211
The idea that you had to last a long time that I got in my head for sure came from watching porn. I can finish quick, and I'm not sure if this is learned, or just the way you are. There's not much I can do to extend it out, so I've just adapted to making sure the wife is happy before I'm happy. I finish quick, but can recover fairly quickly as well. Ready for round 2!

I probably could finish with a condom in 2 minutes as Cad had said. That doesn't sound too hard.
 
  • 1Like
Reactions: 1 user
Gavinmad

Gavinmad

Mr. Poopybutthole
43,940
52,708
It's much easier to avoid an unwanted pregnancy if you tell a chick that you don't believe in abortion but you have no problem murdering a pregnant woman.
 
  • 2Like
  • 1Solidarity
Reactions: 2 users
Khane

Khane

Got something right about marriage
20,611
14,356
Twilight Sparkle said:
It's much easier to avoid an unwanted pregnancy if you tell a chick that you don't believe in abortion but you have no problem murdering a pregnant woman.
Click to expand...

Yea it's pretty hard to get a woman pregnant when she has a restraining order.
 
  • 3Like
Reactions: 2 users
Tarrant

Tarrant

<Prior Amod>
15,956
9,360
Fifey said:
I've broke a lot of condoms, it sometimes gets bunched up and just pulls enough to break. You can feel it instantly so the whole condom broke excuse is just a man who's horny enough to sign a 20 year contract.

Even with condoms you should be pulling out and laying your seed somewhere visible.
Click to expand...

The one broken one I had, the whole thing didn't break off, just the under side ripped a hole without the rest giving way. Best as I can figure, it broke right at the end of said activities before it had a chance for total system failure.

I was young at the time, Plan B wasn't even something I had heard oand looking at it, it never even became OTC until 2013, so that probably plays into it.

At any rate, our second child we had together was fully planned, we were together almost a decade so it's not like it was regretted.
 
LachiusTZ

LachiusTZ

Rogue Deathwalker Box
<Silver Donator>
14,472
27,162
Did the pull out consistently for 6 years, once a day or so. Had 2 or 3 misfires, usually when we hadnt fucked in a few days and I couldnt reason through the urge to dump as deep in her as possible.

That being said, just had a 2hr long distance call with the wife of "I think we need to get a divorce".

So . . . my time to frequent this thread has come.

WTF do I need to do to win in divorce court? I didnt lie to her, but we ended it on her wanting make up sex and that she wasnt going to file for a divorce (which is odd, I have told her I wanted a divorce 3-4 times in the past 5 years). So . . . should I get her to do a bunch of drugs, then file for divorce and request a drug test? Get her to text me some twisted shit like she fucked some random dude and save it? Going to retain an attorney this coming week, but want some more "creative" and less ethically bound ways to create leverage and wrestle her for custody.
 
Tarrant

Tarrant

<Prior Amod>
15,956
9,360
LachiusTZ said:
Did the pull out consistently for 6 years, once a day or so. Had 2 or 3 misfires, usually when we hadnt fucked in a few days and I couldnt reason through the urge to dump as deep in her as possible.

That being said, just had a 2hr long distance call with the wife of "I think we need to get a divorce".

So . . . my time to frequent this thread has come.

WTF do I need to do to win in divorce court? I didnt lie to her, but we ended it on her wanting make up sex and that she wasnt going to file for a divorce (which is odd, I have told her I wanted a divorce 3-4 times in the past 5 years). So . . . should I get her to do a bunch of drugs, then file for divorce and request a drug test? Get her to text me some twisted shit like she fucked some random dude and save it? Going to retain an attorney this coming week, but want some more "creative" and less ethically bound ways to create leverage and wrestle her for custody.
Click to expand...

Win what exactly? Do you have kids? If you have assets you'll be splitting all of them you accumulated during marriage and depending on how well off, even some from before.

Winning is being able to keep half your stuff. Try to do any of the shit you mentions and you won't be keeping half your stuff and you'll likely wind up in jail.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.