Marriage and the Power of Divorce

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Aldarion

Aldarion

Egg Nazi
9,956
27,444
Nester said:
What "building" are you talking about? the kids are at school from 8 to 3....
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Assuming a reasonable family size (e.g. 3 kids), you've just described a period of about 12 years before the kids are all in full time schooling. 12 years the wife will be staying at home. Just to put your comment in context.
Is vacuuming and laundry "building a home?"
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First, the kids are home at 3 so no way the wife could work more than 6 hrs a day, 30 a week.

No, vacuuming and laundry alone dont make up 30 hours a week. Add in
dishes, cooking, shopping, taking care of the animals, other assorted cleaning tasks, decorating, gardening, making repairs, and all the other tasks that make a well-run home: youll easily hit 30 hours a week. Easily. If you have any work ethic at all you'll find additional tasks that need doing and rapidly exceed 40. If youre the average American woman and spend 20+ hours a week shitposting on Facebook and Pinterest, you'll work for 20 and dick around for 20. There is no budget you can put together where you can do an adequate job of running a home on the 10 hours a week you've left available in your scheme.

Note that I work 60+ hours a week. I am not doing a goddam lick of housework after 60+ hours of actual work. This is an assumption built into my calculations.
Leadsalad said:
Well, unless you're an exec, where I live it's pretty much fiscally impossible to support a family on just one person working.
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I dont know where you live but I doubt this. I support my family (wife + 3 kids) on 80k. Yeah cost of living varies but so do lifestyle decisions. Outside of shitholes like NYC or LA, I am skeptical you *cant* live on one income. Its a question of budgets and lifestyle choices.

----

I'll respect other people run their families differently. But dont come in here acting like having two incomes and no actual parenting time is somehow better for the kids. Get right the fuck out of here with that shit. Some parents have chosen to go that way and I'll respect it. But come in here calling me a cuck for raising my kids the way normal kids have been raised for all of human history? Fuck that shit.

Not that I was rustled or anything.
 
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Leadsalad

Leadsalad

Cis-XYite-Nationalist
6,207
12,915
Bay Area, CA. Good fucking luck on 80k. Housing starts at 500k, rent for a family of 4 would be north of 2.5k.
 
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Frenzied Wombat

Frenzied Wombat

Potato del Grande
14,730
31,803
Soygen said:
You can't hate on him when it's just the two of you? Calling friends out on their shitty relationships is a key part of friendship.
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Ehh, I've always felt that criticizing the wife is a no go zone, especially since he loves her. I've insinuated that their division of labor isn't fair/equal, and he either gets defensive or claims "he doesn't mind". Push him too far and he just goes the "well you're all alone because you're too bitter yadada"

consensus said:
Leave him alone. Best redpill is experience.

Or start taking him out more often. Make him to "men" stuff. Keep him occupied from his wife constantly.

One day, he is gonna realize, "what the fuck am I doing with this wench. I am a homo."
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He lives in Toronto and I live in Dallas so it's kind of difficult, but a year ago we met up in Montreal and I dragged him to a strip club. He ended up "confessing" to his wife and getting in shit. Came to visit me in Dallas a month back, and now he's "not into strip clubs anymore-- doesn't do it for me".

He's in a defensive position of denial. I'm sure deep down he knows what's up, but either lives in denial or maintains a brave face. Either way, last week he had a Facebook photo up and he was wearing a fedora without any understanding of the symbolism.. Intervention may be required soon.
 
Soygen

Soygen

The Dirty Dozen For the Price of One
<Nazi Janitors>
28,519
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Fedora? I'm sorry, FW. Your friend is already dead. RIP in peace.
 
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Alex

Alex

Still a Music Elitist
14,713
7,528
I could barely support myself if I made 80k/year in SF. Well, without roommates and shit. But I'm 30. I ain't having roommates.

And I stopped having a babysitter by the time I was 10 or 11. It's not very hard to be alone for a couple hours before one of the parents get home.
 
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Khane

Khane

Got something right about marriage
20,594
14,323
Aldarion said:
Assuming a reasonable family size (e.g. 3 kids), you've just described a period of about 12 years before the kids are all in full time schooling. 12 years the wife will be staying at home. Just to put your comment in context.

First, the kids are home at 3 so no way the wife could work more than 6 hrs a day, 30 a week.

No, vacuuming and laundry alone dont make up 30 hours a week. Add in
dishes, cooking, shopping, taking care of the animals, other assorted cleaning tasks, decorating, gardening, making repairs, and all the other tasks that make a well-run home: youll easily hit 30 hours a week. Easily. If you have any work ethic at all you'll find additional tasks that need doing and rapidly exceed 40. If youre the average American woman and spend 20+ hours a week shitposting on Facebook and Pinterest, you'll work for 20 and dick around for 20. There is no budget you can put together where you can do an adequate job of running a home on the 10 hours a week you've left available in your scheme.

Note that I work 60+ hours a week. I am not doing a goddam lick of housework after 60+ hours of actual work. This is an assumption built into my calculations.

I dont know where you live but I doubt this. I support my family (wife + 3 kids) on 80k. Yeah cost of living varies but so do lifestyle decisions. Outside of shitholes like NYC or LA, I am skeptical you *cant* live on one income. Its a question of budgets and lifestyle choices.

----

I'll respect other people run their families differently. But dont come in here acting like having two incomes and no actual parenting time is somehow better for the kids. Get right the fuck out of here with that shit. Some parents have chosen to go that way and I'll respect it. But come in here calling me a cuck for raising my kids the way normal kids have been raised for all of human history? Fuck that shit.

Not that I was rustled or anything.
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You lambaste someone for saying one thing, then go ahead and do the same thing to everyone else who actually has two working parents in the household because they can't afford a stay at home parent. You're literally saying you can't raise children right unless someone stays at home full time.

That whole "I'll respect someone who decides to do that" line is a CYA that completely contradicts the message you're giving in that post.
 
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Khane

Khane

Got something right about marriage
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All of my friends with kids work with nobody staying at home full time. They are doing quite a fine job raising their children and spending time with them, coaching sports and generally being great with their kids in spite of that.

I don't know if I've ever met anyone involved in a stay at home situation that didn't act sanctimonious. "I don't want strangers raising my children". Fucking obnoxious.
 
Soygen

Soygen

The Dirty Dozen For the Price of One
<Nazi Janitors>
28,519
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Yeah, if you don't want to work and can afford it, have at it. That said, every stay at home mom I know is pretty insufferable. Admittedly, I don't know many.
 
Cad

Cad

scientia potentia est
<Bronze Donator>
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Soygen said:
Yeah, if you don't want to work and can afford it, have at it. That said, every stay at home mom I know is pretty insufferable. Admittedly, I don't know many.
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They're insufferable because they're the ones that couldn't bring themselves to go the fuck to work so they convinced a man to let them stay home. Work is just so stressful, after all. It's a self selected group of lazy cunts.
 
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Frenzied Wombat

Frenzied Wombat

Potato del Grande
14,730
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Cad said:
They're insufferable because they're the ones that couldn't bring themselves to go the fuck to work so they convinced a man to let them stay home. Work is just so stressful, after all. It's a self selected group of lazy cunts.
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A lot of guys I know literally TOLD their wives to stay home at not work because they couldn't deal with being their post work emotional tampon every day.

As one guy so eloquently put it:

"I make 175K a year, and my wife makes 55K being a teacher. Every fucking day, despite having ten times the responsibility and stress that she does, I have to spend at least 45 minutes after work listening to her moan about teachers, administration, and students. Then if it was a particularly bad day or I didn't listen well, I have to spend the rest of the night enduring her bad mood. I told her to stay home and now I have an extra 45 minutes to myself every day and don't have to deal with her moods. Worth it."

I'd dispute the "worth it" part, but I see this a lot..

Whether women employ this tactic consciously as an effort to stay home is what I'm curious about.
 
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Khane

Khane

Got something right about marriage
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The wage gap is just opportunity cost.

"Ok, you can work here, but I'm taking 10% off the top to put in a slush fund so I can deal with all the drama and grief I'll have to endure. Cheers"
 
Mrs. Gravy

Mrs. Gravy

Quite Saucy
<QUITE SAUCY>
1,696
2,175
Noodleface said:
Just as an aside, my wife takes care of our kid all day then works overnight a few nights a week just to help out.

She's pretty shitty about keeping jobs. There seems to always be drama at work... But at least she tries.
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Drama like her married boss whom she has respected and thought of like a protective brother making a pass at her/trying to kiss her drama? 'cause that is the shit fire drama I am dealing with right now.
Gravy would have fucking killed him.
I called him by his full name like a mom would he immediately retreated to his office. Later when I had composed myself, told him in no uncertain terms, that would NEVER happen again, he agreed, said he had stepped over the line, I said yes, way over the line...he apologized at least 10 more times. I said if he even insinuated anything my call to HR would make his head spin. He agreed. I may ask to have my supervision changed....I am fucking pissed, seriously. I have enough stress in my personal life and my job is stressful and now it is MORESO. FUCK!
I told my counterpart today so someone else knows in case anything else untoward were to happen...of course he could deny it or say it was me but EFF that. I asked if she thought I had been putting out signals or if I appeared vulnerable...she said No...and she is a person who does not pull any punches...she has always been brutally honest...some people say "too blunt or harsh" I love that about her...no pussy footing around. I am seriously disgusted, angry and a bit hurt.
Boss respect gone. Fuck. I loved my stressful job. Some men are pigs.
 
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Cad

Cad

scientia potentia est
<Bronze Donator>
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Mrs. Gravy said:
Drama like her married boss whom she has respected and thought of like a protective brother making a pass at her/trying to kiss her drama? 'cause that is the shit fire drama I am dealing with right now.
Gravy would have fucking killed him.
I called him by his full name like a mom would l, he immediately retreated to his office.
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You just politely say no thank you and continue on doing your job.
 
Mrs. Gravy

Mrs. Gravy

Quite Saucy
<QUITE SAUCY>
1,696
2,175
Khane said:
He literally tried to kiss you? At work? During work hours?
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Yes, yes he did. I have worked for him for 10 years and would never in a million thought this would happen....I edited my original post to provide more info.
 
Cad

Cad

scientia potentia est
<Bronze Donator>
25,821
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Mrs. Gravy said:
Drama like her married boss whom she has respected and thought of like a protective brother making a pass at her/trying to kiss her drama? 'cause that is the shit fire drama I am dealing with right now.
Gravy would have fucking killed him.
I called him by his full name like a mom would he immediately retreated to his office. Later when I had composed myself, told him in no uncertain terms, that would NEVER happen again, he agreed, said he had stepped over the line, I said yes, way over the line...he apologized at least 10 more times. I said if he even insinuated anything my call to HR would make his head spin. He agreed. I may ask to have my supervision changed....I am fucking pissed, seriously. I have enough stress in my personal life and my job is stressful and now it is MORESO. FUCK!
I told my counterpart today so someone else knows in case anything else untoward were to happen...of course he could deny it or say it was me but EFF that. I asked if she thought I had been putting out signals or if I appeared vulnerable...she said No...and she is a person who does not pull any punches...she has always been brutally honest...some people say "too blunt or harsh" I love that about her...no pussy footing around. I am seriously disgusted, angry and a bit hurt.
Boss respect gone. Fuck. I loved my stressful job. Some men are pigs.
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Maybe I am a total shitlord but I'd say you've got this boss right where you want him, now. He'll probably tiptoe around you for as long as you work there and stay the fuck out of your way.
 
Khane

Khane

Got something right about marriage
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I can't even imagine what was going through his mind to make him think "Yea man, go for it. No time like the present"
 
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