Marriage and the Power of Divorce

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Deathwing

Deathwing

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Khane_sl said:
But really, in situations like what I am referring to the woman is relying on her partner take care of her in every sense of the word "rely". Why is it not OK for the man to rely on her to take care of him? I'm serious.
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Short answer is no. It's not ok for a woman rely on a man's salary even if she actually does and it's not ok for a man to rely on a woman to do stuff around the house because how we arrived in that situation a lot more complicated than just two people choosing a career.

Frenzied Wombat_sl said:
Yes, and back when doctor's didn't require PhD's people lived to the average age of 40 and medicine usually hurt more than healed.. Has child rearing advanced on the same scale as medicine, engineering, or any other applied study? Are children better educated and/or behaved now than they were 100 years ago as a result of our modern day coddle based daycare system? Ironically, the answer is no.
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The amount of work and studying that goes into early childhood education is astounding. Seriously, have a kid, there's a shit ton of information out there. Doctors have researched it and daycare teachers SHOULD be following it. Most probably aren't.
 
TrollfaceDeux

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Deathwing_sl said:
The amount of work and studying that goes into early childhood education is astounding. Seriously, have a kid, there's a shit ton of information out there. Doctors have researched it and daycare teachers SHOULD be following it. Most probably aren't.
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thank god they aren't

When one New Zealand school tossed its playground rules and let students risk injury, the results were surprising | National Post

Deathwing_sl said:
Not sure where to interject with your baseless and sexist comments on a matter of which you have no experience?
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i love you too bro.
 
Deathwing

Deathwing

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Thanks for proving my point? You want someone educated in early childhood education to be able to interpret results like that and act in a smart manner. Any brainless automaton can let children loose on the playground and get similar results. So when you come pick your kid up and you see them monkeying around barely supervised, who's going to have the better answer?
 
TrollfaceDeux

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I was specifically pointing out that all these awesome specialist with child care experience are fumbling at this idea of free environment since it is not something that they've conceived...
He didn't start asking "why" until he became part of a playground and risk study by Auckland University researcher Grant Schofield and his research manager, Julia McPhee, three years ago. The researchers gave 16 schools a grant of $15,000 to build their vision of a playground that would reintroduce risk and help encourage physical activity in children.

"It hadn't occurred to me that anyone would actually abandon all school rules," Prof. Schofield said.
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Frenzied Wombat

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Deathwing_sl said:
The amount of work and studying that goes into early childhood education is astounding. Seriously, have a kid, there's a shit ton of information out there. Doctors have researched it and daycare teachers SHOULD be following it. Most probably aren't.
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But that's not the reality and you're changing the parameters entirely. You think day care workers should be paid more because their job is "hard", and I don't because their career barely requires anything beyond a high school education or associate's degree. IF the requirements/parameters required that day care workers had to invest a huge amount of "work and studying" (ergo formal education), it now becomes skilled work in my opinion, and yes does then deserve more pay. Of course we'd then be dealing with an issue where nobody could afford to send their kids to daycare, but that's a whole other discussion..
 
Deathwing

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Trollface, it's hard to change what you've been taught. It's almost impossible to implement what you haven't been taught.


Frenzied, I'll ask my wife when I get home, but I think her daycare requires a 4 year degree. It IS an expensive daycare, $1540/month, thankfully we get an employee's discount. I will admit that most daycares don't require any formal education and I think they suffer for it. If anything, the teachers themselves lack ambition to perform their job well and the children suffer for it.
 
Frenzied Wombat

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Deathwing_sl said:
Trollface, it's hard to change what you've been taught. It's almost impossible to implement what you haven't been taught.


Frenzied, I'll ask my wife when I get home, but I think her daycare requires a 4 year degree. It IS an expensive daycare, $1540/month, thankfully we get an employee's discount. I will admit that most daycares don't require any formal education and I think they suffer for it. If anything, the teachers themselves lack ambition to perform their job well and the children suffer for it.
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IMHO any four year degree with the exception of maybe Art History, Gender studies, Women's studies, etc deserves to make 50K a year at a minimum, bottom line. Maybe not right out of Uni, but at some point.
 
TrollfaceDeux

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Frenzied Wombat_sl said:
IMHO any four year degree with the exception of maybe Art History, Gender studies, Women's studies, etc deserves to make 50K a year at a minimum, bottom line. Maybe not right out of Uni, but at some point.
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but who is gonna pay the professors 100k for art history, gender studies, and women's studies. no one would teach these extremelyyyy important courses if not.
 
Tarrant

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My sons daycare is at a community center owned by our school district. It was a school back in the day and still is for his programs and early childhood development programs. Our school district is also one of the top public school districts in the nation. We pay just under $1100 for him to go there and we've seen his speech problems almost disappear, he's progressed so quickly there that even the teachers are surprised. They require early childhood degrees to work there and frankly it's money well spent, those staffers are paid fairly well and seeing my son go from a very limited vocabulary to being able to string together full sentences and express his feelings with words is enough to bring tears of joy to his mother and I.

On that same note, he was with a one on one nanny with no formal education before this and saw almost no progress. I wouldn't have the system be any other way than it is right now as it's directly affected us in such a positive way.
 
iannis

iannis

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That degree is no guarantee of quality by itself. The skills can be learned informally, and to be honest usually are. The academic work is prep and exposure but you do learn by doing. But what it should be is a guarantee that the real chuckleheads have been pre-screened and pre-weeded.

Some of the shit they teach in education programs, even special needs education programs, is so inane, backwards, and stupid that it SHOULD be immediately discarded and forgotten. But that exists everywhere so there's no real reason to bag on one particular subset of formal education for it.

If my life depended on it I could spay a dog. But you know... I suggest that you'd take it to the fucking vet. I'm not gonna hang a shingle because I could probably do a thing somewhat adequately. Which when it comes to education is what we allow to happen sometimes. It's not all hocus. The majority of it actually isn't hocus. Just easy to spot the assanine parts and rage against them.
 
BrutulTM

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I've been skimming the last couple pages, but I think what all this comes down to is that for some people their partner needs to be their equal in terms of work ethic and ambition. Personally I could not be with someone that isn't busting their ass at something, and being the manager of the same McDonald's for 8 years isn't busting your ass. I recently went on a couple dates with a girl that was 29 years old, lived with her grandparents, worked for barely over minimum wage in a supermarket bakery, and was taking junior college classes that most people took in 8th or 9th grade (Algebra 1). I was attracted to her, she was very nice, and I had a good time on the dates, but I very quickly realized that I didn't respect her as a person. I was literally more accomplished at 19 than she was at 29. That's just never going to work. It's not really about money, but if you are an ambitious person and your wife is coasting through life, that won't work, or it wouldn't for me. Some people don't mind having someone that they take care of, but if I'm going to be with somebody then I need to respect them as an adult, and that means that they are roughly on my level when it comes to intelligence and ambition.
 
Khane

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BrutulTM_sl said:
I've been skimming the last couple pages, but I think what all this comes down to is that for some people their partner needs to be their equal in terms of work ethic and ambition. Personally I could not be with someone that isn't busting their ass at something, and being the manager of the same McDonald's for 8 years isn't busting your ass. I recently went on a couple dates with a girl that was 29 years old, lived with her grandparents, worked for barely over minimum wage in a supermarket bakery, and was taking junior college classes that most people took in 8th or 9th grade (Algebra 1). I was attracted to her, she was very nice, and I had a good time on the dates, but I very quickly realized that I didn't respect her as a person. I was literally more accomplished at 19 than she was at 29. That's just never going to work. It's not really about money, but if you are an ambitious person and your wife is coasting through life, that won't work, or it wouldn't for me. Some people don't mind having someone that they take care of, but if I'm going to be with somebody then I need to respect them as an adult, and that means that they are roughly on my level when it comes to intelligence and ambition.
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You know, you said what I've meant to say in one concise little paragraph. This is exactly what I mean. Different things work for different people and for me, I cannot be with someone I don't feel is on my level.
 
Frenzied Wombat

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BrutulTM_sl said:
. I was attracted to her, she was very nice, and I had a good time on the dates, but I very quickly realized that I didn't respect her as a person. I was literally more accomplished at 19 than she was at 29. That's just never going to work. It's not really about money, but if you are an ambitious person and your wife is coasting through life, that won't work, or it wouldn't for me. .
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Pretty much spot on and the situation I find myself in over and over. The issue is when you make well into six figures and have six+ years of Uni education under your belt, finding a woman that has not only achieved the same, but also is attractive, is VERY hard. Educated, attractive, and successful women aren't quite "white unicorn" in rarity, but there are far less of them than the equivalent male, especially in the south where they're trained that it's ok to be dumb if you're pretty. So inevitably if you're successful you attract a lot of hot, relatively young, marginally successful types that your dick refuses to say no to, but 3-6 months down the road you want to shoot yourself in the head because the respect level plummets when you realize she can't even remember how to do long division.
 
TrollfaceDeux

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why do you have to base your expectation based on what you can do and what she can't do? That seems too much bro.
 
Swagdaddy

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The biggest struggle in my 8 year relationship with my wife is her consistent failure to produce correct solutions to the long division problems we routinely encounter.
 
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