Marriage and the Power of Divorce

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lindz

lindz

#DDs
1,201
63
Ahhh! Onoes, you have proven you can't do casual sex (or at least not that we have heard). This is so not the girl to try it with. She's already showed you that she's unstable and will fall in love with you after you sleep together once. Don't let your dick win on this one. Go find some cute girl in a bar that is just looking for a one night stand if you need to get laid.

We love the stories obviously but you can entertain us and not get yourself totally screwed over in the process.

Much love though!
 
Julian The Apostate

Julian The Apostate

Vyemm Raider
2,336
2,439
If I thought you could hit it and quit it I would be all for this but I can't see this happening without you getting emotionally involved again. Here's to hoping I'm wrong!
 
Haast

Haast

Lord Nagafen Raider
3,281
1,636
Onoes_sl said:
Should I just add "I had a vasectomy, I can't get anyone pregnant." as a signature? I swear we have gone over this a dozen times. Do I need to post a pic of the scar on my nuts?
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As long as you have that follow-up test and documentation saying you are shooting blanks, you should be in the clear on the trap.

Good luck to you, sir. May you not get GonaSyphlHerpAIDS and instead get some new stories to post.
 
Gravy

Gravy

Bronze Squire
4,918
454
If you've ever wanted to do some fucked up repugnant shit to a girl, I think you've found her, and it looks like you know this.

Godspeed, Onoes!
 
Lejina

Lejina

(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻
<Bronze Donator>
4,675
12,198
Whatever you do, don't get attached to her. She dumped you the second she thought she found a better prospect, never forget that.
 
Phazael

Phazael

Confirmed Beta Shitlord, Fat Bastard
<Aristocrat╭ರ_•́>
14,665
31,522
Kirun_sl said:
I'm going to go with "fake pregnancy", but with a twist: She got knocked up by the dude she's been shacking up with(likely loser), but knows that Onoes does relatively well for himself. So, she'll attempt to convince him(likely successfully), that it's his.

Seriously, Onoes, you won't listen, but you're being an idiot about this. The woman is obviously nuts and if your dick isthatstarved for attention, don't you live only a few hours from Vegas?
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This. Bonus points, when the baby crawls out it is half black.
 
Joeboo

Joeboo

Molten Core Raider
8,157
140
She's just a woman who can't be alone. She'll jump ship as soon as a better prospect comes along, and then backpedal and beg and offer crazy sexual favors in order to fall back to a safety net if/when that new fling doesn't work out.

Like others have said, just be ready for her to up and disappear without notice when something better/more exciting comes along, then you might hear from her again in a few months when she needs her safety net again.

Being the safety net isn't necessarily a bad thing, it's guilt-free sex when you can get it. Just never, EVER, ever let her come between you and the prospects of someone else you might be interested in. She will absolutely not be dependable for any length of time or anything serious, never choose her over ANY other options. Only be that safety net if you have absolutely nothing going on in the romance department when she makes contact with you again.
 
Kirun

Kirun

Buzzfeed Editor
19,240
15,629
Onoes_sl said:
Should I just add "I had a vasectomy, I can't get anyone pregnant." as a signature? I swear we have gone over this a dozen times. Do I need to post a pic of the scar on my nuts?
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Does she know this? It won't stop her from trying if not.

I feel like your vasectomy is just going to be your justification to yourself for not wrapping your rooster. With the red flags this girl has thrown up, I think that's a very bad idea.
 
A

Antarius

Lord Nagafen Raider
1,828
15
joeboo_sl said:
She's just a woman who can't be alone. She'll jump ship as soon as a better prospect comes along, and then backpedal and beg and offer crazy sexual favors in order to fall back to a safety net if/when that new fling doesn't work out.

Like others have said, just be ready for her to up and disappear without notice when something better/more exciting comes along, then you might hear from her again in a few months when she needs her safety net again.

Being the safety net isn't necessarily a bad thing, it's guilt-free sex when you can get it. Just never, EVER, ever let her come between you and the prospects of someone else you might be interested in. She will absolutely not be dependable for any length of time or anything serious, never choose her over ANY other options. Only be that safety net if you have absolutely nothing going on in the romance department when she makes contact with you again.
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Trust me, she'll end up trying to fuck up future relationships... if for no other reason than texting your phone for random hookups even after you tell her you're no longer interested... 5 years from now you'll be with some new wifey and she'll see a text on your phone that is like "want to fuck again?" completely out of the blue and your wife will be like wtf~
 
Onoes

Onoes

Trakanon Raider
1,460
1,225
Antarius_sl said:
Trust me, she'll end up trying to fuck up future relationships... if for no other reason than texting your phone for random hookups even after you tell her you're no longer interested... 5 years from now you'll be with some new wifey and she'll see a text on your phone that is like "want to fuck again?" completely out of the blue and your wife will be like wtf~
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No future wife - lesson learned
No serious relationship with this one- lesson learned

I got this.
 
Haast

Haast

Lord Nagafen Raider
3,281
1,636
Onoes_sl said:
No future wife - lesson learned
No serious relationship with this one- lesson learned

I got this.
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I would say "quoted for posterity", but I don't think I've seen you edit or delete posts even when people gave you a lot of shit.

And that's why you are a good dude, Onoes. Keep on banging skanks and sharing the crazy.
 
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