Marriage and the Power of Divorce

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Cad

Cad

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Soygen said:
It's not rocket science, but it's also not nearly that "easy" every day. Your advice wreaks of someone who is out of touch with someone who doesn't have hired help 95% of the time.
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You do realize I have 3 kids and didn't have any hired help with the first two right? I've worked at home for more years than I've worked in the office. I've spent my days with the kids plenty. It absolutely is a bit mentally taxing to never get a "break" and my few days to watch my littlest one these days are the easiest because I'm not concerned about money so we just go wherever and do whatever; I haven't gotten bored of the "fun" shit to do yet and he hasn't driven me crazy day in and day out with kid stuff, etc - these are all valid points.

But there's no reason to sit at home and watch soap operas and let the kids run amok or just vegetate either. Get them out doing stuff, take them places, do things. Get them together with other moms/kids and socialize with the other adults while the kids play. Etc. The "I've been at home all day cooped up" thing is 100% by choice.
 
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Noodleface said:
Dandai don't be stupid .just take them to the library, out to eat, the mall, amusement park every single day
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Totally don't understand why you can't do this aside from the amusement park thing. But there are tons of entertainment options for the kids that are out there. Why sit at home? Go have fun.
 
Soygen

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Cad said:
You do realize I have 3 kids and didn't have any hired help with the first two right? I've worked at home for more years than I've worked in the office. I've spent my days with the kids plenty. It absolutely is a bit mentally taxing to never get a "break" and my few days to watch my littlest one these days are the easiest because I'm not concerned about money so we just go wherever and do whatever; I haven't gotten bored of the "fun" shit to do yet and he hasn't driven me crazy day in and day out with kid stuff, etc - these are all valid points.

But there's no reason to sit at home and watch soap operas and let the kids run amok or just vegetate either. Get them out doing stuff, take them places, do things. Get them together with other moms/kids and socialize with the other adults while the kids play. Etc. The "I've been at home all day cooped up" thing is 100% by choice.
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Fair enough. I'll just have to chalk this up to different personality types. I don't want to go out and have fun every day even when I had no kids, let alone with them in tow.

That said, I agree that you shouldn't stay cooped up every single day if you're a stay at home parent. I'd rather be at the office any day of the week, though. I love my daughter and my step-son, but I need alone/quiet time to survive.
 
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Prodigal

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A little late as I’ve not been keeping up with the thread, but one of my favorites in regards to the male/female relationship:

 
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alavaz

alavaz

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My wife quit working when my oldest was two (so about 5 years ago) and overall it's been a big positive for us and our kids. The only thing she really complains about somewhat regularly is the lack of adult conversation and I guess "tasks" for lack of a better word that she would get at work but she knows whether she works or not is 100% her choice. The only issue I have with it is that she's ready to talk to an adult when I get home and I'm ready to shut the fuck down and not say anything. I've gotten really good at my "oh yeah's?" and "wows." I'm sure she knows I'm feigning interest in most of it, but is cool enough to not make a big deal about it.
 
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Larnix

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Noodleface said:
Dandai don't be stupid .just take them to the library, out to eat, the mall, amusement park every single day
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Noodle, I know your sarcasm is off the charts but there is no reason not to these things minus the amusement park .The library is free man along with going to the local park. Hell every place has kids days for example when I go to the Trampoline park its $5.00 for both kids for 3 hours.

I am not sure how the far the library and local grocery store is for you guys here is an example: Take the kids to story time, hit the local playground for a little, stop at the grocery store and back home in time for lunch and naps. That costs $0.00 (minus gas and what's needed at the store), takes about 3 or 4 hours, and everyone is out doing something and not going crazy at home. I was doing with my kids at 4 months and 2.5 years old.
 
Khane

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I'd say having a human adult pretend that they can't be the best parent possible unless they don't have any other responsibilities is higher on the "privilege" scale than hiring a nanny in a household where both parents work. If you find children so overwhelming that you can't get anything else done in your life maybe you shouldn't be having kids.
 
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Soygen

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Khane said:
I'd say having a human adult pretend that they can't be the best parent possible unless they don't have any other responsibilities is higher on the "privilege" scale than hiring a nanny in a household where both parents work. If you find children so overwhelming that you can't get anything else done in your life maybe you shouldn't be having kids.
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Do you have a picture of the privilege scale we can reference?
 
Dandai

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I'd say having a human adult pretend that they can be the best parent possible because they don't have any kids is higher on the "privilege" scale than having kids in a household where both parents work. If you find not having children so unburdening that you must share your completely theoretical ideas of child rearing maybe you should shut the fuck up.
 
Khane

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Dandai said:
I'd say having a human adult pretend that they can be the best parent possible because they don't have any kids is higher on the "privilege" scale than having kids in a household where both parents work. If you find not having children so unburdening that you must share your completely theoretical ideas of child rearing maybe you should shut the fuck up.
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Show me the post where I ever pretended I would be the best parent possible.

Also, when is someone allowed to share their ideas on child rearing? When their kids are 2 months? 2 years? 15?
 
alavaz

alavaz

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Khane said:
Also, when is someone allowed to share their ideas on child rearing? When their kids are 2 months? 2 years? 15?
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Feel free to share them at any time, just don't take it too hard when you fail miserably at all the shit you thought you would (or would never) do.
 
Khane

Khane

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alavaz said:
Feel free to share them at any time, just don't take it too hard when you fail miserably at all the shit you thought you would (or would never) do.
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Like agree to let my wife stay at home? Don't need kids to do that!

I get it. You poor saps need to defend your wife's honor.
 
alavaz

alavaz

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Khane said:
Like agree to let my wife stay at home? Don't need kids to do that!

I get it. You poor saps need to defend your wife's honor.
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Gotta have a wife though.

I get it. You need to... actually I don't get it. You're weird as fuck man.
 
alavaz

alavaz

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So where does being forever alone, yet thinks his advice on marriage and kids is the best and most valid rank on this privilege scale?
 
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