Marriage and the Power of Divorce

alavaz said:

So where does being forever alone, yet thinks his advice on marriage and kids is the best and most valid rank on this privilege scale?

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That's a deep cut man. I thought I wasn't alone. I thought you all were my friends...

Don't take my opinions (opinions aren't advice) so personally though. I'll be alone forever after all.

Khane is popular with all the trannies.

The funny thing is I probably have more experience with the notion of stay at home wife/mother than any of you realize. A large, sweeping majority of my relationships have ended because of disagreements over finances and essentially what my responsibility as a man is.

I have dated a lot of women who identified themselves as strong, independent and career oriented. Very "I can stand on my own two feet" and then they find out how much money I make. Suddenly these same women become very concerned about the welfare of their future children and ensuring "strangers don't raise them" (what a crock of shit that is). Many of you would get eaten alive in today's dating world and it would absolutely change your opinion on love and relationships. These women don't actually think that working parents are bad parents (though I am positive plenty of the people here actually do believe that), they simply have no ambition and want to be taken care of for the rest of their lives.

Soygen said:

I can't afford to let my (soon to be) wife stay home, so it's never even been a discussion for us. So...just be poorer.

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You better turn down that next raise bub!

It would be prohibitively expensive for us to put the kids in daycare and have my wife work .Even if she came out barely ahead - at what cost? I make enough now to support us so it's a non issue here. I understand that some couple's cannot afford this lifestyle - not being snarky, I do get it.

I'm gonna be an uncle in a little over a month so I'll basically get to have Cad days with my future niece all the time then hand her back over and sleep soundly and without interruption through the night. Then what are you fuckers gonna say when I call your wives lazy! Don't know about kids? Here's a picture of me and my niece eating ice cream in a library that's in a park! It cost 4 dollars!

I leave the parenting to my wife, I'm just there for the library and ice cream trips

Soygen said:

Then you can go to the parent thread and lecture them.

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Khane,

Its easy to call so many things bullshit that you have never experienced before. I thought disc brakes on bikes where bullshit until I moved to the Alps and almost died coming down a trail with traditional brakes. I have endless examples. I think all parents do what they think is best. I never wanted to be a stay at home parent or wanted my wife to be one before we had children. We moved from Europe back to the States and I had to quit my job anyway so might as well stay home until the right job came up or the kids were back to school. Having strangers raise your kids should be an issue for you, they are sponges and mimic the behavior of the people they are around the most. This includes empathy, apathy,eat habits, etc. I don't think until you have a child do you realize how much of an effect that just being around your child has.That's not something that can always be countered in a few hours in the evening and weekends. To be honest, I am really worried about my son, ( full of energy and already hates homework) he starts kindergarten in a fairly large school and the only male role model in the school is the Principal which he will rarely see. I also have a hard time with how many teachers are overweight but that is another story.

There is no one right way to be a parent or to raise kids but its naïve or maybe delusional if you believe having your children in full time care by others wont have any effect on them. My wife was the Director for daycare for newborns to School age and one thing I can tell you is the staff is overburdened. Ratio of 5 babies to 1 adult is just asking for an adult to snap. We did opt for a Nanny for that very reason.

I don't doubt that women fill you full of their bullshit about being career oriented. I am sure they don't want to scare of any guy with the I want to be a stay at home mom and make babies, then they start to feel comfortable and are a little more open about their true desires.

I wished I could have stayed home with my daughter until she was at least 3 but basically the only job I was willing to go back for early opened up just 20 minutes away from work and 5 minutes from where the kids are. I don't think if kids are in school there needs to be stay at home parents.

There is nothing wrong with giving opinion on most subjects but those opinions can change as your circumstances change.

So I guess all your kids are home schooled too then? Or how do you reconcile the fact that "strangers" are spending as much or more time with your children at school as they would at a daycare/with a nanny? Have you ever considered that those people aren't strangers if you get to know them? Or do you just think that socializing with adults that aren't you or your wife is bad for children?

My opinion on this would never change. The second a woman mentions she wants to be a stay at home mother or that she feels like it's best for the kids I lose all respect for her. The relationship is done. Might have something to do with the fact that my mother worked and I never felt raised by a stranger. And that every stay at home mother I know is a self congratulating, sanctimonious twat. Having to constantly remind people how important you are might be a sign that you, in fact, are not very important.

This surprises you? I think it's sad to go through life with no ambition other than to have children. I'm sure you'll twist that into meaning I must hate kids or say stupid shit like "breeder" to parents. But it just means I think that you should expect a little more from yourself.

How are they not mutually exclusive? If she has ambitions other than being a mother wouldn't she have a job? What are you even arguing?