Marriage and the Power of Divorce

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OU Ariakas

OU Ariakas

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Voyce said:
My thoughts were that I get there 10:30 she's already worked out, she's probably setting up her baking I put the wine in the fridge, she puts the thing that she's baking in the oven. We get dressed it's probably 11:30, she gets the thing out of the oven we put everything in the car it's around 12:00 PM, we have to be there at 1 PM, if we leave at 12:30 then we really only have half an hour of leeway. I figure if I'm there I can help her with stuff, instead of just showing up at the last second?

I just would rather be wrong and happy, that's all I meant. I just wanted her to understand, what I was doing. I've slept at her place several times, I know when she get's up.... I dunno man

I just feel like shit, I really just wanted to spend the day with her, I didn't care if it was 1 pm, or 10 pm, or whatever, had she told me a time, that's the time I would have come.


By the time we were arguing it was 12:20 she hadn't even put the things in the oven, or finished preparing them. Assuming she went there anyway she probably got there at 2:30 or 3...
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I am conflicted about this: On one hand, you showed up partially unannounced too early. Your best bet when she said she was asleep was to say that you would go do something else IF she was still down to go do whatever you were doing that afternoon. Shit, tell her you're going home and will come back. On the other hand, 6 dates (if they were all multi-hour dates) seems to put you in a place where she would be a little more forgiving than that. I have to almost assume that she was looking for a way to get out of seeing you which is why she didn't set a time. You gave her the perfect opportunity to dump you and still make it seem like it was all you and not her.

I have been there, super invested with a girl you really like and then she just turns on a dime and dumps you. It sucks but DO NOT go crawling back even if she calls/texts you. You are better off with someone more stable and less erratic.
 
Soygen

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Khane said:
Saying "We can meet at my place before we leave" and not setting a time is not an open invitation to just show up 2 hours and 40 minutes earlier than the time of the event without confirmation. He went over the "too much too soon" line there and I think he knows it by saying "I didn't want to admit I was wrong". So he knew he bungled it he just didn't want to admit it.



So showing up early to help her bake and then sit in her apartment while she goes to the gym and then gets ready when NONE of that was discussed.... after 6 dates? Nah. I mean... you figured you would get dressed there? Huh?

There's no reason to make all the assumptions he made in that previous quote. Just confirm what time you should meet and if she doesn't respond then c'est la vie. Trying to read a woman's mind (even though we all know that's what they try to make us do) is a fool's errand. I can understand trying to show our forum bro a little solidarity since he's bummed about it all but I would recommend in his future endeavors not doing any of that.
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I agree with Khane. There were a lot of "I figured" in Voyce's post. Never assume you're gonna' do all that, that early in a relationship.
 
zzeris

zzeris

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TJT said:
Nah bro. The Potato Farmer is right. You have an image and something in her handwriting with her detailing that she hopes you don't think you've been sexually harassed. Don't throw it away.

Golden fucking ticket.

Nothing surpasses crazy sex. Absolutely nothing. I never learn my lesson about it.
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And it always ends badly lol. Amazing sex until then though.

Voyce Voyce , good and bad coming. Bad first- "I'm an attractive guy, I get a lot of attention, I'm a smart dresser, I'm well equipped, its not like I can't move on. I just don't know if I should. ". This does not seem to jibe with the rest of your story lol. You also pulled a creepy stalker move but the good is that it's always a learning experience. Lots of women out there so just move on.
 
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Cad

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I don't agree with any of these posters. Any person who acts like you committed some sort of cardinal sin by showing up at their house when they gave you the address and told you to come over, but you came over at the wrong time (when a time was not agreed) after you texted to say you were coming nearly an hour in advance... you guys need to pop a xanax and chill the fuck out.

It was a perfect opportunity for her to be like "oh snap you're that anxious to see me huh? Those dates went that well? Shit let me get ready, I don't want to disappoint you now that I know you I have you on the hook. *wink*" then she shuts the door and gets ready and leaves you alone to contemplate your move.

Instead she showed you that she's a hypersensitive bitch who expects you to read her mind and do the right thing regardless of what you're actually trying to do or what she tells you.

I maintain she's unbalanced and that normal people do not act like that.
 
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Pemulis

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If she was equally (or even nearly as) interested, she would have been happy to see him instead of pissed she couldn't sleep in past 10:00.
Next time, don't actually leave the house til you talk to her. Texting can be too presumptuous.
 
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A

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What bothers me about her is that she brought up her privacy by coming over early. Not sure how that makes sense as a response.

You were probably a bit overeager but I bet I would have done the same thing.

You agreed on a time to be there and you walked back the timeline in your head in order to be there. I get it.
 
Khane

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Cad said:
It was a perfect opportunity for her to be like "oh snap you're that anxious to see me huh? Those dates went that well? Shit let me get ready, I don't want to disappoint you now that I know you I have you on the hook. *wink*" then she shuts the door and gets ready and leaves you alone to contemplate your move.
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Lendarios

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Voyce Voyce did you slept with her already?

If you did and she is acting like this after sleeping?

Im with Cad Cad on this. This is just some minor thing. When u start dating someone, you want to be with that person ALL the time.
If she doesn't want to be with you a couple of hours earlier than anticipated, she is not that into you.
 
lurkingdirk

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Big Phoenix

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TJT said:
Nah bro. The Potato Farmer is right. You have an image and something in her handwriting with her detailing that she hopes you don't think you've been sexually harassed. Don't throw it away.

Golden fucking ticket.

Nothing surpasses crazy sex. Absolutely nothing. I never learn my lesson about it.
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I dont get it, what is the play here? Already brought up getting together after she gave me the note again and she just ignored me which to me says shes bat shit crazy attention whore instead of actually dtf.
 
pharmakos

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Cad said:
I don't agree with any of these posters. Any person who acts like you committed some sort of cardinal sin by showing up at their house when they gave you the address and told you to come over, but you came over at the wrong time (when a time was not agreed) after you texted to say you were coming nearly an hour in advance... you guys need to pop a xanax and chill the fuck out.

It was a perfect opportunity for her to be like "oh snap you're that anxious to see me huh? Those dates went that well? Shit let me get ready, I don't want to disappoint you now that I know you I have you on the hook. *wink*" then she shuts the door and gets ready and leaves you alone to contemplate your move.

Instead she showed you that she's a hypersensitive bitch who expects you to read her mind and do the right thing regardless of what you're actually trying to do or what she tells you.

I maintain she's unbalanced and that normal people do not act like that.
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yeah i agree. sounds like it's a good thing that the relationship ended early, but not for the reasons most people are saying. she doesn't sound like girlfriend material.
 
Kirun

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Big Phoenix said:
I dont get it, what is the play here? Already brought up getting together after she gave me the note again and she just ignored me which to me says shes bat shit crazy attention whore instead of actually dtf.
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There is no play here. You're just feeding her exactly what she wants at this point: attention.
 
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Noodleface

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Cad is assuming we're either on voyces side or the chicks side when in reality we're on neither. Neither person's behavior was indicative of mature, rational thinking. Voyce went overboard assuming things - with good intentions obviously, but a little misguided. The chick either has some weird hangup about people showing up early or she really was looking for an out already. I hate to break that down so harshly, but a person super interested in another probably would've just brushed that shit off.
 
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Khane

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What do you guys think Eomer is up to these days?
 
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Soygen

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Noodleface said:
Cad is assuming we're either on voyces side or the chicks side when in reality we're on neither. Neither person's behavior was indicative of mature, rational thinking. Voyce went overboard assuming things - with good intentions obviously, but a little misguided. The chick either has some weird hangup about people showing up early or she really was looking for an out already. I hate to break that down so harshly, but a person super interested in another probably would've just brushed that shit off.
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Exactly. I don't think Voyce had anything but good intentions. I think having her wig out this early is probably going to save a lot of grief down the road. Her reaction was extreme, but being annoyed in that situation is justified. I would have been a little annoyed, but if I was really into the person, it wouldn't be a deal breaker. I'm annoyed now when people I love just show up without a firm plan.
 
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Cad

Cad

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Noodleface said:
Cad is assuming we're either on voyces side or the chicks side when in reality we're on neither. Neither person's behavior was indicative of mature, rational thinking. Voyce went overboard assuming things - with good intentions obviously, but a little misguided. The chick either has some weird hangup about people showing up early or she really was looking for an out already. I hate to break that down so harshly, but a person super interested in another probably would've just brushed that shit off.
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Not the case at all. You said in your post that Voyce obviously had good intentions and the chick has some weird hangup and if she was interested she would have brushed it off.

SOUNDS EXACTLY LIKE WHAT THE FUCK I SAID

So you disagreed with me then rephrased exactly what I said like it was new material

Thanks bro
 
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Soygen

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Settle down, Cad. Your'e reminding me of Voyce's ex.
 
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