Marriage and the Power of Divorce
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Phazael
Confirmed Beta Shitlord, Fat Bastard
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a_skeleton_03 is probably right, but I do think there is merit to the argument that Cad has it so well that he does not have a reasonable grasp of the current state of dating. I have friends playing the field and it is fucking terrifying. The internet ramped up the easy hookup options over 9000, but its made long term relationship prospects way worse.
I do think Voyce made the classic mistake of assumption and that this girl may have even been shit testing him with the "read my mind" bullshit women love to pull. But, if they have already banged and are a few dates in, a one hour buffer before departure time is not unreasonable and he did try to contact her. I think worst case she is working multiple dicks and was concerned about being caught (she might have overslept because she had a late guest? Maybe reflex?) and best case she overslept and decided to shit on V instead of owning up to the fact that she is going to be late because she did not get up in time. Either way, walking away is the correct play because neither scenario looks good for LTR material. Getting hung up on a six date woman and sobbing like Anima is probably another sign you are better off just bailing, but I think Voyce probably skunked it badly enough that she won't be calling back anyhow. If she does, and its anything other than a good explanation followed by an honest apology, Voyce should politely decline and move on. Without knowing his recent dating history, my guess is this was a first taste of crazy snapper after a long drought and its messing with his head, but I could be wrong here and he has not talked about his recent history. The red flags are there and the rational thing is to learn and move on.
I do think Voyce made the classic mistake of assumption and that this girl may have even been shit testing him with the "read my mind" bullshit women love to pull. But, if they have already banged and are a few dates in, a one hour buffer before departure time is not unreasonable and he did try to contact her. I think worst case she is working multiple dicks and was concerned about being caught (she might have overslept because she had a late guest? Maybe reflex?) and best case she overslept and decided to shit on V instead of owning up to the fact that she is going to be late because she did not get up in time. Either way, walking away is the correct play because neither scenario looks good for LTR material. Getting hung up on a six date woman and sobbing like Anima is probably another sign you are better off just bailing, but I think Voyce probably skunked it badly enough that she won't be calling back anyhow. If she does, and its anything other than a good explanation followed by an honest apology, Voyce should politely decline and move on. Without knowing his recent dating history, my guess is this was a first taste of crazy snapper after a long drought and its messing with his head, but I could be wrong here and he has not talked about his recent history. The red flags are there and the rational thing is to learn and move on.
Hoss
Make America's Team Great Again
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If you like her voyce, you should apologize. Just make sure it's for something you did wrong, or at least that you could do better. Like "Sorry we didn't communicate well, I should have waited for a confirmation from you and been more explicit with my plans"
If she doesn't apologize right back for flipping her shit, then break it off. Cause that's what a healthy relationship would look like. We all get crazy sometimes, and right when I wake up is a good time to catch me in a bad mood.
If she doesn't apologize right back for flipping her shit, then break it off. Cause that's what a healthy relationship would look like. We all get crazy sometimes, and right when I wake up is a good time to catch me in a bad mood.
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Phazael
Confirmed Beta Shitlord, Fat Bastard
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No idea how long you have been married, but I am guessing its similar to me. The nature of the game has changed so much in just the last few years and when you are older, finding an available women without tons of baggage is impossible. Even if the nature of the game itself had not changed, being older narrows the field tremendously. Of course if you only want a trophy wife who is young, attractive, and mostly interested in the stability that lawyer money brings in, then you are probably good to go (north Dallas has no shortage of that). But if you think you can just snap fingers at our age and bag another equal partner soul mate, at our age and after being out of practice dating for so long, you are being a bit optimistic.
Phazael
Confirmed Beta Shitlord, Fat Bastard
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Yeah if that's the case, then she was probably not comfortable enough to have him pop in. She still over-reacted in a "my uncle once touched me in my no no place" kind of way and that (combined with sending nudes) is another crazy red flag, but Voyce is probably in the wrong in that scenario anyhow.
Cad
scientia potentia est
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I have no idea what I’d want. I’m not even sure I’d want to get married again if my wife were suddenly gone. It’s a question I can’t really answer until I’m in that situation.
I really don’t think I’d have a shortage of applicants though. I wouldn’t be opposed to dating a younger woman because I don’t think I’d want to deal with a blended family.
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Phazael
Confirmed Beta Shitlord, Fat Bastard
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I am kind of like you (german upbringing) in the one and done category, plus I cannot imagine a better fit for me than my wife (who is also my best friend). I am a fat bastard and no lawyer, so fishing for gold diggers is not an option, but I have to think that it is unfulfilling unless getting your dick wet and showing off are the highest priorities (might be in your circles), which I do not take issue with as such. Brady Bunch scenario does indeed seem like a huge pain in the ass, I agree.
Again, Cad, I was not attempting to disrespect. I was just pointing out that age and era change the playing field if one of us happily married guys ever had to jump back in.
Again, Cad, I was not attempting to disrespect. I was just pointing out that age and era change the playing field if one of us happily married guys ever had to jump back in.
Khane
Got something right about marriage
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Both you and Cad married your high school sweethearts correct? Neither one of you have been on a single real, adult first date. You may believe there are certain "circles" I run in (fuckin lol) but it's just the nature of dating in this day and age with Match and Tinder and the sheer amount of availability and ease of meeting new people.
Cad may not want to admit it but he would likely be looking for the same thing I look for in a woman. Stable, educated, independent, career oriented. Though he seems to think women should just adore you from the word go so maybe he'd throw all that out in favor of a trophy once he realized that's not how it works.
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3301
Wake Up Man
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1) You didn't invade her privacy. You invaded her irresponsibility. That's why it's such a big deal. You "made" her feel like she sucks, which she does.
2) Apologize for what? You need to placate as little as possible when you're just dating.
3) Forget about her, delete her.
4) If a woman wants to be with you, she will figure out a way to make that happen.
5) This is a sign you need to create some space between yourself and this relationship.
6) There's a difference between "doing something wrong" and "doing something someone turned out to not like."
7) Ever hear that you want what you can't have?
8) Advice for you: Approach relationships from the start with an understanding that you can't control the outcome, and that they can be gone from your life in an instant and you will be okay if that happens. Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself even if it means they choose to not continue.
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pharmakos
soʞɐɯɹɐɥd
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I side with Voyve here for the most part, but Hoss^ has presented the best strategy if you're still into her.
alavaz
Trakanon Raider
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I don't ever plan on being divorced, but in the off chance it does happen, I don't care I'll meet girls at work. I met my wife and two previous long term relationships on the job and it's all been quality (well I mean, until it wasn't in the case of the former two). I can find another job easily.
I also have a big enough stack of girls I wish I would've gone further with but didn't on my social medias that I would totally revisit. I even have years of data on them to make an even more informed decision.
I also have a big enough stack of girls I wish I would've gone further with but didn't on my social medias that I would totally revisit. I even have years of data on them to make an even more informed decision.
Lendarios
Trump's Staff
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Yeah that's right about me.
I am not saying you are in some crazy different circle. I think we are a few years different and also in very different regions. When I talk to the people my age in my region they don't have nearly the horror stories you do. They have different horror stories, it's not perfect out there and I am not delusional.
No illusion that either of us would instantly find the perfect match. I just think it would be a different set of issues that we might thrive in or we might go down in flames.
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