Marriage and the Power of Divorce
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iannis
Musty Nester
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Cad
scientia potentia est
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A lot of people have it that don’t know it. If she’s on the suppressive medication you have a very slight chance of getting it. And even if you get it most people are asymptomatic which is why everyone has it.
if you have a choice between the herp and non-herp obviously go for the clean one but realistically it is over stigmatized.
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Khane
Got something right about marriage
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The stats say something like 1 in 5 have some form of Herpes. But your wife of 10 years catching it in some crazy lipstick sharing mishap and you not caring because eh, whatever, you're married and in love is a lot different than finding out someone you've only known for 2 weeks has it and you have no idea whether that relationship will last anything more than a month and leave you with a lifelong STI.
No thanks, pass.
No thanks, pass.
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Frenzied Wombat
Potato del Grande
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HSV-1 isn't anything worth passing a good relationship opportunity over. Chances are you probably even have it, or have kissed someone before that does as well. Now HSV-2 is another story altogether, I wouldn't go near that.
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Big Phoenix
Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
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Yeah mouth herpes is simply too common and easily transmitted for it to be a huge deal. Babies get it all the time since they love to put stuff in their mouth.
Khane
Got something right about marriage
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When do you know it's a good relationship? If you just meet someone and they tell you they have HSV-1 you really gonna tell me you don't care that this total stranger has oral herpes? And if you've come to know and grow fond of them before they tell you they have it wouldn't that be reason enough to believe they can't be trusted?
I agree it isn't really all that big a deal. But it's still enough of a deal that I'm not gonna "go for it" with someone I barely know if they have it and show symptoms from time to time.
alavaz
Trakanon Raider
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lol... So you are telling me that if you met and fell in love with a woman and after like 1-2 years of a good relationship she has a lip herp pop up you'd feel all butt hurt and betrayed over it?
Honestly though, I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if you said yes.
Khane
Got something right about marriage
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That's not at all what I'm saying. And it's very unlikely that 2 years into a relationship the person you're dating suddenly gets their first outbreak ever, unless it's some crazy situation like lipstick sharing, which was already covered.
Frenzied Wombat
Potato del Grande
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To clarify, you basically really like her and she checks off all the important boxes. She shows potential you rarely see in dates. Both HSV-1 and HPV are prolific in the population and almost everyone has one or the other, with most being asymptomatic, and the former requiring a specialized test (not even included in standard STD screen), and the latter doesn't even have a test for men. For the one chick that would say she has HSV-1 (which is honestly a weird thing to admit too, considering its commonality) you've guaranteed kissed ten others in life that are carriers that haven't said anything. Most people who have it get a cold sore like once every five years or so, if ever. Some people can have it for years without even knowing before it pops up under severe stress.
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50%+ of adults in the US carry HSV-1. You should just assume everyone has it. You probably do.
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Khane
Got something right about marriage
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If I go on a couple of dates with a woman who admits to having it and showing symptoms from time to time that is going to be the end of it for me. It's not like I'm looking to get married and if I am now a carrier, and test positive, that is something I will have to tell every woman I date in the future. I will not be dishonest about something like that, and it would make dating a lot more difficult and uncomfortable. That's basically what it comes down to. Plus the random flare ups which would be bothersome.
To the HPV point, that's a virus the body can fight off. For men, the worst case scenario is warts (which could eventually become cancerous if you don't get them taken care of). It's not a lifelong commitment (heh heh).
I understand what you guys are trying to say, but I think you're maybe being a little flippant about it.
To the HPV point, that's a virus the body can fight off. For men, the worst case scenario is warts (which could eventually become cancerous if you don't get them taken care of). It's not a lifelong commitment (heh heh).
I understand what you guys are trying to say, but I think you're maybe being a little flippant about it.
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Are we talking about the same thing? Who gets tested for cold sores? This is not "I have HIV and need to tell everyone on the first date" territory. I guarantee a high fraction of everyone you know or have ever kissed has it. HSV-1 is not "herpes" in the sense that most people mean it.
Hell. I have it. Picked it up as a kid from who knows where and had the occasional cold sore a full decade before I was sexually active. I've been married 15 years and my wife has never had a sore despite neither of us paying any attention to it.
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