Marriage and the Power of Divorce

Uncle Gravy_sl said:

She swallowed.

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Is this a rarity? All my girlfriends aside from one did this

A positive pregnancy test.

... and true love, of course.

DeadAgain!?_sl said:

Out of curiosity, what made you guys decide that your wife was the one that you would settle down with, would really be interested in your answers.

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Our first date involved hockey and lots of high gravity beer. Love at first sight.

It was hard finding any one in Atlanta that actually enjoyed hockey prior to her. They kinda tolerated it, but would be doing shit on their phones the whole game. She actually paid attention and was curious as to what was going on.

Basically you'll know when you don't have to change who you are to be with her.

We got along really well, were interested in a variety of things while also having certain things we each liked that the other didn't, had mind-blowing sex, and never really got into any major arguments. There came a point where I Just went "you know, I love this woman and I won't find anything better."

That;s kinda what made me curious aside from unplanned pregnancy etc, I was curious about what clicked with you to make you take that plunge.

DeadAgain!?_sl said:

Is this a rarity? All my girlfriends aside from one did this

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In my meager experience, I'd say you are in the above average range. Maybe a cocksman with more experience can chime in?

Actually, I knew there was something special about her the first time we met. At a bar. And she was married. We were friends for maybe four or five months, but we both knew it was more than friendship.

Then, the shit got real. Yada yada, 24 years later.

I will tell you taking away swallowing totally kills the pleasure, but that's a topic for another day

Noodleface_sl said:

never really got into any major arguments.

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For my part it was the fact that when we had arguments I still wanted to be with her after.

DeadAgain!?_sl said:

Out of curiosity, what made you guys decide that your wife was the one that you would settle down with, would really be interested in your answers.

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She's cute and she talks to me.

Theres only ever been 2 women that I even wanted to marry. One because I was young, and had been with her for years, and was terrified of life without her. Not a good enough reason and she was smarter than I was. That was a long, hard lesson to learn.

The other moved to a different state for work before I had decided to ask her. And given my previous experience with it there was no way I was going to ask her THAT while she was considering that big of a change in her life. If she'd stayed, I would have asked. But that's also cowardly, because if she'd stayed I would have already had my answer. But I don't blame her for leaving at all, it was a good opportunity. I miss her sometimes but never did blame her.

I think at some point you just realize that you should marry this woman.

OK.

So, I was reading a lot of the "morality" posts on here, and I think I fall somewhere in the middle. Honestly, I guess it is kind of a desperate move, and I really shouldn't be desperate. I was caught off guard by the first phone call, finding out she was married, but I didn't know what the hell to do. My initial thoughts were "Ohh I guess nothing is going to happen with this" and "Wait, why was she just holding my hand, what?". When she got feely during the play, I did sit there and do a mental "what do I do here?", but yeah, as others said, I came to the conclusion that I didn't know what was going on in her life, and if random girl wants to sleep with me, why not? Upon further analysis and developments I'll talk about in a minute, I won't be doing this again, both due to the end results of this, and further introspection into myself and where I should draw a line. Despite the analogy that I would steal someone's money if I found a wallet, I would not. Apparently, if someone lost their vagina and I found it however, I would put my penis in it.

So, here is how this worked out/what you know.

Met Thursday, went to play, had sex, slept on her hotel couch bed.
Friday, I ditched work conference that didn't apply to me, she picked me back up after she got out, went to art gala thing, had dinner, back to her place for couch bed sex. (important note- I brought my bag this time, anticipating not returning to my hotel.)

Here's the new Biz.
Saturday, get out of training early afternoon. She's already out and shopping, she ask's if I have any formal clothes, I say "kind of, some dress slacks, button up shirt, and a tie" (I brought just in case, all I had been wearing so far were tshirts and jeans) and she tells me to put them on, she's made us reservations at a nice place, and will pick me up in a couple of hours. I get dressed, she picks me up. Our reservations aren't for a couple of hours. She takes me back to her hotel and tries on several dresses, having me pick one. Again, her attitude is kind of all over the place. 90% of the time she's kind of a disapproving school marm, and the other 10% she's a playful flirt, the problem is that I never know when the switch is flipping. So anyway, she gets dressed, and asks if I want to go to Starbucks to get a drink, before we go to a gallery, as we still have a couple of hours before our reservation. I tell her I don't drink coffee, but we can go. She gets visibly annoyed, and explains to me how its hard to enjoy things when the person you are trying to connect with won't participate. I kind of laugh and apologize for not liking coffee, but again, I'm more than happy to just hang out, no worries. This doesn't seem to help at all, we drive in silence for a bit. At this point I'm kind of going "Fuck me, I really need to find a way out of this, what the fuck am I even doing? We don't even get along...", but I'm too big an idiot, afraid to hurt a random ladies feelings, so I just keep going with it.

We get to Starbucks, she orders, and wants me to order something, I reject, she starts listing everything on the menu, I say "Fine, I'll just have a tea, do they have tea? Does that make you happy then?" and she says yes, orders the drinks. We sit and its a little awkward still, lots of silence, and short "we can't connect about anything" little back and forths.

Somehow we get onto a conversation. Her attitude perks up, everything is going well. For maybe 10 minutes we are actually talking, having a discussion like 2 friends. The conversation gets on the subject of teachers, I talk about a teacher that made a huge difference in my life, and she starts doing the same. Then she starts talking about how this teachers husband was cheating on her. How this fucking filthy liar ruined this ladies life and the life of their childrens by having an affair. About "what kind of a person can be that deceitful to the person they are supposed to love? You should have seen this poor broken woman, and she was an angel" etc etc etc. She was just on a roll with this.

I must have looked like I was staring at a crossword puzzle in chinese or something. I had to be sitting there with the most confused look on my face possible. She finally stopped talking and went "What?" at my reaction. I said "Um.. I don't mean to be rude or anything... but, isn't that exactly what you are doing here, right now, with me? I mean, I haven't asked about it, but, aren't you having an affair with me, right now?"

Yeah, that was not the right thing to say. I was just kind of dumbfounded.

She went directly back into business mode, and turned away from me. She put sunglasses on and asked in a very businesslike manner if I was done and ready to leave. I said sure, and apologized for saying the wrong thing, I wasn't trying to hurt her, I was just trying to understand. She said "It's fine." and that was it.

We got in her car and she started driving. Neither of us was saying anything. She then started crying. I apologized again and said I didn't know what else to say. She started crying more. I asked if she would pull over. She pulled into a parking lot, turned the car off, turned in her chair to face the window, and cried. A lot. I asked if she wanted me to try to talk to her, or to leave her alone for a minute. She didn't answer, she just cried. I sat there wishing I was anywhere else. After maybe 5-10 minutes of this, she sobbingly asked me if I had any tissues. I didn't, but I could see a gas station a little ways away. I told her to hang on I would get some. I fled the car and walked to the gas station. I got a water and a pack of tissue, and returned, thinking on my walk back that at least she hadn't driven off and stranded me, and then wondering if maybe that wouldn't have been preferable.

I got back to the car, she thanked me, and I went back to sitting there like a stature while she went into a kind of slow sobbing. Then her phone rang. It was her husband. She answered and told him she was just having a rough day, and that she missed her family and the dogs. They talked for like 40 minutes on the phone. I took out my phone after like 15 minutes and typed that "DEVELOPMENTS" post, and then played Puzzle and Dragons. I was just thinking that she can't take me back to the hotel fast enough. I was dreading that I would have to go back to her hotel to get my bag, and then have her take me to my hotel. I could get a cab, I would just get a cab I reasoned. As she talked to her husband, she started cheering up, she recovered. I waited.

When she got off the phone, she turned to me and did a "So, let me guess, you don't want to go to dinner now right? I've scared you off and you just want to go, I understand, I can take you back if you can't stand to be around me anymore." or something along those lines.

So what do I do?! I didn't say "FUCK YES." because I thought that would be a dick move and the hard thing to do. Instead, I said "Whatever you want to do, I'm totally fine, don't worry about it, I didn't mean to be insensitive.", just hoping she would insist.

Instead she leaned over and hugged me, thanked me, and drove us to dinner. >_<

The place was crazy nice. She dropped a couple hundred dollars on food for the two of us, and tipped the waiter another $100. This is all super strange to me, coming from being very poor a lot of my life, and only now feeling like I'm doing very well (despite my salary being laughable to a lot of you I'm sure). Suffice it to say, just about everything we did on each day was well outside anything I would normally do, and thats not to say I didn't enjoy them. She made numerous mention to strangers about how she was showing me, her friend, some culture. She clearly didn't mean to insult me, she was being jovial, about it, but it would have been insulting, if I didn't think most of that entire posh culture is laughable and ridiculous.

Anyway, back to the story.

So we have a really great dinner. She's lovely the whole time, obviously the food and everythings great. After the meal we go to this really fancy lobby/lounge thing the place has and order another drink. I got a drink called "The Berzerker" which came out on fire. Highlight of my night.

We head back to the hotel. I let her know I've had a great time, but I'm going to get my bag and go. She makes a few more comments about how much I must want to get away, and it gets awkward and quiet again.

We get back to her place and I go to her room to get my bag. We walk in and I start walking to my bag and she pushes me down onto the bed when I walk past. I laugh and start to get up, and she goes "Ohhh whats this!" and shoves me hard in the chest, climbing on the bed, throwing her leg over me and straddling my face. She's in a dress, and I'm like "Well fuck." at this point. She's undoing my belt and shaking her ass in front of my face.

You can guess what happened.

WELL

30 minutes or so into the sex, her phone starts ringing, she yells "IGNORE IT" and so I just keep going. 1 minute later it starts again. 1 minute after that it rings again. I stop and she says sorry and answers it. I move down and sit on the end of the bed, she starts talking to her husband about how bored she is, how she has a headache and is just watching tv in her room. I sit there and marvel about how fast and easy she goes into this persona, and just how convincing and different she is. I sit there for like 20 minutes waiting. She is clearly trying to get off the phone, but he's wanting to talk, and she's apparently hesitant to make too big a show of it. I get up and go to the bathroom. I come back and check this thread, type "FURTHER DEVELOPMENTS" and close out. I go ahead and get dressed. I take the bucket and go get some ice. I come back and she's still on the phone. I pack my bag all up and sit on the couch just dicking around on my phone waiting to either say goodbye and get a cab, or see if she is just going to drive me back. I probably should have just left, but again, I thought maybe that would be fucked up.

She gets off the phone close to an hour after she had picked it up. She apologizes, still lying naked on the bed and says she is guessing we are done? I say yeah, and ask if she wants me to grab a cab, she asks me to stay the night, I tell her I think I should leave. She asks me to come over to her so she can say goodbye. I walk up and she grabs at my pants and starts undoing them again. I put my hands on her hand and say "no, I'm sorry, I'm done ok?" and she says "But you didn't get to cum. let me just finish you off before you go, you like my mouth right? Just stand here and I'll take care of you, you'd like that right?"

And... I take my hands off her hands. She goes to town, it's crazy fucking amazing, and before long I'm stepping back out of my pants, taking my shirt off, and climbing back into bed.

I end up spending the night.



Which brings us to today. I go to the training, don't get out until almost 4. She's waiting at the front of the conference place for me (my bag is still in her room), I tell her I've decided I need to leave tonight instead of tomorrow. She kind of guilt trips me, but I tell her I just have too much to do, I need to leave. I agree to have dinner with her if we leave right away. We go to dinner, it's a mix of conversation and being comfortable, up until I say something "wrong" and she turns back into an accountant for a while, relaxes, and repeat the whole thing! After dinner we go back to her place, I get my bag, and she hugs me a lot. She is rubbing my back and giving me, in equal parts, hints I would be very happy if I spend my last night with her, and negative things about herself and how much I must regret being there and stuff. It again, was really weird. She did that kind of a lot, said negative things that were clearly just so I would say some compliment she wanted to hear. Let me say I'm not a fan of that, whatever you would call it.

Anyway, I would be lying if I said I didn't stick around a little bit just kind of hoping for one more blowjob or something before I left, but she made it clear I needed to promise I was going to stay the night or something before I got my reward. So, eventually I left. I took a cab back to my hotel and started packing my car. I went back to my room and told the guy from work I was supposed to be staying with (I'm pretty sure he was annoyed at me, although I'm not sure if that was because he was wanting someone to hang out with the whole trip, or because I had clearly found another place to sleep) that I was just driving home tonight. I finish loading up the car, and climb into the driver seat. I was setting up the GPS on my phone, and turning my audio book on, just about ready to leave, when someone knocked on my car window. I looked up startled and there she is, standing outside my car and looking pissed.

I open the door, and say "Ohh hi? whats up?" and she says "I thought you said you were leaving?"
I said "I was just about to back out, took me a little bit to get out, why, whats up?"
She said "I needed to get deodorant. I was going to the store and thought I would see if you were still here. I thought you would be gone. Since you are, can I have you're deodorant?"

Again, she is not saying this in a cute way or anything, she is scowling and looks like she has been crying.

I say "ummm, uhhh, yeah? sure." I get out of my car, open the trunk, pull my deodorant out of my bag and hand it to her. She says "thank you" and awkwardly hugs me. I say "No problem."

She says "Well... I guess bye again." I say "Yeah, bye, thanks again for everything."

She walks away and I drive off.

And that was my work trip.


I'm pretty sure this just took me over an hour to type up. I know you all needed something to do at work on Monday.

TLDR version: Don't mess with married ladies?

So yeah, in summary, I basically feel like I had some sex with someone who was clearly conflicted about the whole thing. In the end, I feel like shit about it, and it didn't seem like she felt much better. Uhg. Yeah, I'm not going to do that again. I just read my entire post and even I'm not happy with me right now, so no need to be too hard on me. I get it.

I should probably try to refrain from enjoying my newfound sexual freedom until I can find a girl who is not going through some huge breakdown or crisis. Again, UHG.

We all make mistakes. Sometimes willfully. Temptation is tempting. The only reason I know that I would walk away from that situation is because I have. But it wasn't fucking graceful. I said a couple of words that probably made me sound like a fundie/beta/fag and fucking RAN away. lol.

As object lessons go, that's a cheap one.


Doesn't matter; had sex.

Yikes. Live and learn, at least this didn't go bad.